Backwards Desire
by Padfoot7411
Summary: "Think about it Evans, were almost one in the same. Denying ourselves something we want, just because we might get hurt" After a drunken mistake can Sirius fix his and Remus' friendship and maybe make it something more? Maruaders Seventh year.
1. Erised

****Ok so...this is my first time writing fanfiction and posting it anywhere. So it probably isn't fantastic. I'm hoping this will get better as I go. But one never knows. So be gentle with critisim. But enjoy :D****

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><p>The walls were flashing by, all a blur. If Remus hadn't been in this school for over six years of his life, he might not know where he was. But he knew after taking a left and down another corridor he had already ran past his hiding spot. Why was it always he who got the shit end of the stick?<p>

He could hear them now the now ruined plan, running through his head.

They were in their dorm room, map spread out on Sirius' bed. All four of them surrounding it, running back over the game plan.

"Ok now Peter, we need you to be here" James had chuckled looking at the fourth marauder, who was eyeing the map with a questioning glance.

"And you need me there why" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because we need you to distract the prefects that will be walking this part of the castle"

"Can't we just wait till morning?"

Sirius sighed and rubbed his temple "No, we have to get to the dungeons to have this ready for the Slytherins in the morning" Sirius looked up at Remus. Smiling at the third marauder whose golden colored eyes flicked an amused look at Peter, he hated nights when they went out after curfew. "And Moony" Sirius started ignoring Peter's mumblings of being caught. "You'll be on the second floor; Flitch always patrols there, since we always seem to pop up there. We want you to hide in the old Charms room on that floor"

"You mean the one you and James destroyed third year"

"The very one" Sirius beamed with pride. "He wouldn't dare go in there looking for you, afraid that a boggart might get him" he chuckled.

"Another one of your tricks" Remus asked, eyebrow rose. It was hard being the well-behaved marauder, because part of him wanted to chuckle at the memory of the pranks but if he let the marauders in on his silent enjoyment, he might end up in more detentions than he already did.

"Of course it was, it made that room safe for us to hide in"

"We always need rooms like that" James chuckled. "And don't come out till we come find you" James sighed "And we won't have the map so please for the love of Merlin hide in THAT room" he eyed Remus. "Because if not, well it'll take much longer to find you."

Why had James said anything? Remus ducked inside an unknown room and waited until he heard Flitch scamper past; of course, Mrs. Norris was a ways behind him. As she had done since second year when Flitch had learned how easy it was to slip past him. Now Remus had to wait there, until either Mrs. Norris passed him and he could get in the right room, or until the Marauders made their way back to the dorm and checked out the map.

When he turned around his mouth fell open a little. The room was completely empty except over in the far left corner was a tarp; it was draped over something at least eight feet tall. Now normally Remus would never walk up to something covered up. Because in Hogwarts one only knew what was hidden and for what reasons. However, for some reason tonight he felt a little brave, maybe even a little stupid. He took ten strides it was all it took with his long legs to reach the dusty red tarp. He took the material that now he knew was silk and with a quick tug, he pulled it off.

He stood back and blinked a few times before he walked back towards the mirror.

The frame looked golden, he had never seen a mirror like this before, the glass was somewhat hazed over. Probably from age, he figured. He let his fingers slide over the glass and shivered over its cold feeling. He reached back to grab the silk cover to recover it, losing his nerve having it exposed before he froze in mid reach.

The sliver eyes starring back at him made his heart lurch. His hands trembled knotted in the red silk. There stood Sirius, smiling back at him. His heart raced, as he turned his head expecting to see him standing there, but to his surprise he wasn't. Then he looked back, and saw himself reflected back in the mirror. Except mirror him had his arms wrapped around Sirius' middle and head on his shoulder. Mirror Sirius whispered something; his mouth moved forming the words 'Olive Oil'. Remus raised his eyebrow as his reflection whispered it back, the reflections wearing the same grin.

The silk slid from his fingers as he watched the reflections kiss one another. Remus felt he stumble backwards tripping himself with his feet and landed on his backside as he starred up at the mirror. Shaking head to toe. He shook his head to clear the image from his mind. Why had watching the reflections kiss make his heart race. Or make him yearn for that feeling.

Sirius was his best mate; there was no way he'd kiss him like that. Remus wanted to turn and run, get away from the cursed mirror. However, something inside him begged to watch just a little longer. The silk lay forgotten beside him as he looked back up at the mirror.

The image had changed to his own bed back in the dorm. Sirius laid on it shirtless, or at least that was all he could tell since the covers were tucked around him. He dared to think if Sirius was only shirtless or naked. The thought made a shiver run up his spine. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, also shirtless. Or Merlin he hoped at least. He could tell by the way the covers laid that they lay intertwined underneath the covers. They were holding hands and his head was on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius was talking to him as he ran his fingers through his sandy hair. Remus reached out, unaware of the action until his fingers touched the icy surface. His skin burned underneath his clothes.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there starring at the mirror, lost in the flicker of reflections and all the dirty secrets they relived to him. The inner workings of his mind, those hidden thoughts he thought only when he was long alone.

Remus felt himself press himself against the mirror, and touch the glass, always keeping a part of him against the glass.

"Sirius" he finally whispered softly, as his eyes started to close. He looked up one last time, and smiled as he saw Sirius' reflection kneel down inside the mirror and reach his own hand against the glass, and watched him mouth his own name. He fell sound asleep hand still on the glass smile all over his face.


	2. Two of the Same

**And this is chapter two, I think uploading has been more frustrating than writing XD. Definatly a whole new system. But I hope you guys like it so far!**

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><p>Sirius opened the door to the old Charms classroom.<p>

"Moony, come on its late" he called. Walking in the room, figuring Remus had fallen asleep; it was well past four in the morning. The prank had taken much longer than they had planned. Of course, it had been Peter's part that had fallen through. Nearly causing the three of them to be caught. Luckily, Peeves had been on their side for once and helped the rat slip through the prefect's fingers.

Now here he was combing through the old classroom grumbling.

"Look here Lupin, you either come out now. Or I'm leaving you here" his words sounded serious. However, he knew he wouldn't just leave Remus out in the castle all by himself. When it finally sunk in that Remus had not made it to his destination did he panic.

Remus either had been caught and was getting a detention or Remus had hid somewhere else. And there were enough things on this corridor alone hidden in the rooms that just might harm him. Either way Sirius needed to know. Thankfully, James and Peter had gone back to the common room, they'd be with the map.

Sirius pulled his mirror out of his pocket and called for James.

"Find him" James asked, as his face appeared in the slivery glass.

"Can you look on the map, he's not here Prongs" Sirius sighed as he slipped out of the room, and looked around. "Moony" he called quietly.

"Yea hold on" James chuckled "I knew he wouldn't be in there"

"Yea yea, hurry up" Sirius hissed as he walked along the corridor.

"Stand still" James hissed, "Duck in somewhere so I can focus on you"

Sirius ducked in an archway in the wall and stood, waiting for James to give him directions to where Remus would be.

"Ok, walk forward when you get to the end of that corridor turn right, then walk to the fourth door. He's in there. Be careful Flitch is still walking that hall. Mrs. Norris is on the other end of you"

Sirius nodded and put the mirror back into his pocket, and followed instructions.

When he reached the door, he opened it as he heard someone come behind him. Once ducked in the safety of the room he locked the door behind him, and turned around.

He smiled to himself seeing Remus curled up on the floor breathing softly; he'd wrapped himself in red silk and fallen sound asleep. Sirius couldn't help the shiver that slithered up his spine at the sight of him. He shook his head quickly and hissed to himself in his head. He hated his mind sometimes. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Remus' hand on the mirror, not fully understanding what had possessed him to keep his hand there all night.

Then he felt his jaw hit the floor, he hadn't really paid any attention to the mirror, since his mind was more focused on his sleeping friend. However, when he had finally looked at it he felt his heart instantly stop in his chest.

There stood Remus in only his boxers licking his lips. Sirius looked around him, making sure no one else could see, and said a silent prayer that Remus would not wake up. He watched as Remus' reflection ran a hand down his boxers causing Sirius to let out a quiet groan. He watched as the reflection raised an eyebrow that same look that made Sirius squirm in place.

He watched his mouth form words he couldn't hear. But it didn't matter what he said, as Sirius nodded his head. He watched as Remus' back turned to him and he faded away.

"Don't go," he cried out. Covering his mouth and looked down at sleeping Remus. He mentally cursed himself as he watched his friend stir. He looked up to see a now fully clothed Remus stroking his own reflections hair. His reflections head was resting in Remus' reflections lap. He smiled at the image that played in front of him, though half of his attention was on the waking form of his friend, he had a few seconds to indulge.

It was a position he normally was in with Remus, it was the pain of having a very clingy friend. Or at least that was what James had always told him. Remus had never really minded it or at least that he ever let on. He'd normally just read and let Sirius lay there. Though normally he would keep his hands to himself, though in the reflection it was as if he couldn't keep his hands off Sirius, almost as if they were lovers. He shook his head, only in his dreams.

"Sirius" Remus whispered. Sirius shook his head again and looked down at his friend stirred from his inner thoughts.

Remus looked at him then the mirror then instantly jerked up and away and from the mirror. Like he'd been struck by something, he was starring at the mirror.

'Shit he can see it' Sirius thought as he stepped away. "Er…you ok Moony" he asked, trying to play it cool.

"Um, yea fine" Remus replied chuckling weakly. "Everything done" he walked farther from the mirror casting a spell over his shoulder as the silk draped itself back over the mirror.

"Yea, come on its time to go to bed" Sirius chuckled, casting a glance back at the mirror. As he shut the door behind him, he made a mental note of where the mirror was so he could easily come back and let his imagination run wild again.

Little did he know Remus was doing the same exact thing.

"Good thing our classes are late tomorrow…er later" Remus chuckled, walking right beside Sirius. It was now all clear to be out of their dorms. Therefore, there wasn't much reason to slink back to Gryffindor tower.

"Thank Merlin" Sirius chuckled as he slung his arm over Remus' shoulders. Remus hid the blush that crept across his face as he looked at the floor.

Sirius couldn't hide the grin that slipped on his face, "I can't wait to see what those Slytherin's think when they wake up tomorrow" he grinned wider.

"To which part" Remus grinned the heat finally gone from his cheeks.

"I wonder what ole Snivellus will look like covered in chicken feathers and with bright green hair."

"Probably better than he does now" Remus grinned.

The both of them laughed as they headed back to the dorm.

"FlameLily" Remus called to the Fat Lady as she opened up.

"I still can't believe James picked that as the damn password," Sirius muttered.

"I'm surprised Lily allowed it" Remus chuckled. They kept walking and up to their dorm. James and Peter had long since gone to bed. So with goodnights bided the two boys went to their different beds and changed, before curling up between the covers.

Before the curtains closed on Sirius' bed he called out to Remus "Hey…what exactly was that mirror in that room" he asked.

"No idea, I'll see what it was tomorrow" Remus ignored the cold shiver that ran over his body hoping Sirius hadn't seen what his reflection showed.

"Sounds cool" Sirius chuckled, though hopping deep down inside Remus hadn't seen what was reflected back to him.

"Goodnight Padfoot" Remus called to his friend.

"Night Moon" Sirius answered back. Letting his head hit the pillow and he was off to sleep.

Leaving Remus wide-awake sitting up in his bed, letting his mind mull over what he'd seen in the mirror.


	3. For Lack of Trying

**And this is the last of the prewritten chapters. So from now on updates might be a little slower. But at least you have three chapters so far. As long as this story works with me hopefully I'll be able to write more! I'm really enjoying writing it so I hope its fun to read. Don't worry the next chapter the Mirror will be gone, for a while at least XD**

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><p>It had be a whole week since Sirius had found Remus in this room. And it seemed forgotten to Remus, since he hadn't looked it up. On the other hand, if he had he hadn't shared with Sirius. And it was driving him insane, not knowing exactly what this was. His own mirror hidden in his bag, along with a book. It was about mirrors and the enchantments that you could place on them. His father had given it to him when he was about seven. Claiming it'd come to use one day.<p>

And here he sat in front of the mirror the silk cover a puddle at the feet of the golden mirror. He'd written his father asking what he knew about the mirror. Of course, his father knew nothing, but sent him the book in a package and told him that might become of use to him, and once he figured it out to let him know.

His father was one of the few people Sirius cared for in his own family. Of course, he still believed in pureblood power. However, it was hard for Orion Black to turn his back on his sons. Sirius had always been his father's son, even when he was crazy. Claiming he was only acting out, and one day he'd change his mind. Though Sirius knew he never would he was happy to at least know his father didn't hate him.

He flipped through the pages of the book sighing as it didn't seem to dare tell him the secrets the mirror held. With frustration of being half way through the book and no answers he put it down and paced around the mirror, analyzing it inch for inch.

"What the bloody hell are you!" he hissed to it, almost daring it to answer back. He'd been ignoring the reflections as he tried to figure out the curious object. He wouldn't let his mind focus on the mirror. The bringer of the mental torment it had now cursed him with.

Every night since his first night starring into the mirror flashes of Remus and himself never gave him a moments rest. If he wasn't focused on something, he'd see Remus' eyes glittering full of mischief. Or at the idea of being a couple. He'd caught himself more than once starring at his friends back.

After his fourth circle around the mirror, he stood in front of it. "Tell me what you're all about" he hissed. He felt himself run his hands through his nearly shoulder length black hair. With the past weeks frustrations there had been times he wanted to just pull it out and scream in frustration.

He'd been to this mirror every night, still unclear of what it did.

"Sirius" called a voice, causing the eldest Black to twirl around wand at the ready.

"Remus" he breathed, seeing his golden-eyed friend step out of the shadows his own wand out. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Remus pointed to the map and raised an eyebrow. "You've been down here for an hour, I figured something was going on." he chuckled casting a gaze at the mirror. "Still trying to figure it out," he asked.

"It's driving me crazy," he grumbled crossing his arms over his chest. "I hate the questions it's brought up in my head" he spat. "Fucking good for nothing…" he trailed off sighing to himself. "Wait…what are you doing down here?" he asked, looking Remus. The half moon light spilling through the old rooms dusty windows, covering Remus in an eerie glow.

"I came to find, you make sure nothing was out of place" he chuckled. "Making sure you didn't cause yourself any bad luck". Sirius gave him a look then nodded.

"I thought about it" Sirius chuckled to himself. "Honestly I already tried, he just bounced right off"

"You still get bad luck from trying"

"Eh…I'm at fourteen years then"

"SIRIUS" Remus gasped at him "Your stupid"

"I'm the grim what worse luck can I get" he asked, shooting Remus a look. Remus huffed in response. Before his eyes hit the book and raised an eyebrow.

"You can read" he chuckled causing Sirius to throw a light punch at his arm.

"I read a lot thank you very much and no those porn magazines are not what I'm talking about" Remus flushed a little at the mention at the muggle play boy magazines Sirius had tucked away. "I read about things that interest me, otherwise I just give it a once over"

"Were talking about books and not people right" Remus chuckled. Sirius glared at him.

"Piss off" he huffed and sat back down in front of the mirror "What do you see in the reflection" he finally asked. Gaining the courage to find out just what his werewolf friend might see.

"Me" Remus asked pointing to himself.

"No that wall" Sirius chuckled patting the spot beside him. "Yes you" he smiled letting his head dangle back so Remus was now upside down. "What do you see?"

Remus gave the mirror a long look before stepping towards it so his reflection would greet him. He almost wanted to tell the truth, it was right on the tip of his tongue. Standing there looking into his reflection he could see himself and Sirius snuggled together on the common room couch, just being with one another, talking amongst themselves. You could tell just by the way they were it was more than friendship the two shared, and once Sirius placed a soft kiss on the top of his reflections head he sighed heavily. Deciding it was best to lie.

"I see myself standing in the full moon light" he sighed. "Untransformed" he looked at Sirius.

Sirius looked back at the mirror his sliver gaze looking at it, almost trying to force himself to see what Remus saw. However, of course he could not. His own reflection was what he saw. Standing there one arm around Remus' waist while his other was slung around James' shoulders. He chuckled to himself, lost in the image that was in front of his eyes. This one was a little different from what normally laid before him. James was standing beside Lily his eyes on her like they always were, and now her own were back on him. 'why has it changed this time' he asked himself. He didn't hear Remus step forward to get a closer look at the mirror. All he did was watch what was taking place in front of him. He watched as his reflection pulled Remus closer, kissed his forehead, and muttered something to him.

"Erised" the word pulled Sirius from his mind and shook his head starring back at Remus.

"What"

"Erised" Remus repeated "That's what it says on the mirror" Remus was a little taller than Sirius so of course that mixed with his wolf eyes could easily see the inscribing on the top of the mirror. Erised straeh ruoy tub ecaf ruoy ton wohs I" Remus read the words, his own mind confused with what it said.

"Come again" Sirius asked "I can promise its not Latin" Sirius chuckled, when he was a child his parents had taught him Latin as basically a second language he could speak it freely, both he and his brother used to speak it quiet often until last year when Sirius ran away from home, destroying the brotherly bond the two had.

"No it's not Latin" Remus chuckled "Give me that mirror of yours" He held his hand out knowing Sirius carried it with him everywhere. Without a seconds thought Sirius reached in and was about to hand it to him before stopping himself.

"You're a dick" Sirius spat, Remus looked at him questioningly. "Its silver you stupid idiot" he sighed. "I can't believe you almost let me do that…again"

"I'm sorry I forgot" Remus grumbled, tucking his hands into his robes. , now feeling the silver's pulsating power. "I guess you'll have to do it and hopefully I can read it." He sighed as Sirius stood in front of the mirror and angled it so that the text was reflected so Remus could read it.

"Well" Sirius asked looking over his shoulder at Remus, watching the wolf study what the mirror until his friend's eyes went wide.

"W-what" Sirius stuttered, Remus never feared anything. At least so, he led on, and here he was standing in front of Sirius wide eyed and full of fear, or so it seemed.

"I how not your face, but your hearts desire" Remus whispered knotting his hands in his robe pockets. His heart hammered inside his chest, suddenly the room was much hotter than it was and he found it hard to breath. He was drawn from his minds inner works as he heard something crash to the ground and a loud swear.

Remus blinked to see Sirius' mirror laying on the ground mirror side down.

"Son of a bitch" he hissed, as he reached down "Please don't be broken" he muttered, and flipped it over to reveal an unbroken mirror face. "Thank Merlin" he muttered a soft chuckle escaping his lips. Remus starred at him "OH err…sorry my arm got tired" he chuckled weakly, trying to ignore the heat that flared up underneath his collar.

Remus ignored his odd way of answering and chuckled "Hearts desire huh" he asked looking at the mirror.

"At least yours makes sense" Sirius sighed standing up and placing the mirror in back in his bag.

"Well what do you see?" Remus asked sitting back down in front of the mirror.

"Me" he asked looking long and hard at the sliver reflection, letting himself get sucked in for a moment. Before sighing. A lie, he hated lying to Remus. "I see my brother and I" he sighed. "As well as my father just the three of us happy, like we used to be when I was kids. Before I came to Hogwarts, before I made life a living hell," he sighed.

"So you'd rather be in Slytherin and not have met us," Remus asked, he couldn't hide the hurt in his voice.

"N-no" Sirius muttered, cursing his mind for not letting him think of an answer. "No I don't want that I just…" he sighed and collapsed against Remus "Just miss them both I guess," he muttered. Then nudged Remus "Besides YOU want to not be a werewolf, so tell me dear friend if you weren't a werewolf do you think we'd even be best mates" he asked a smile on his face.

"Who knows" he chuckled "Probably not. I'd probably had been in Ravenclaw or something" he chuckled, letting out a soft gasp as Sirius wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close, laughing. He felt heat on his cheeks again but ignored it.

"Ahh Remus" Sirius chuckled smiling down at his friend. Remus could smell Sirius' shampoo and his aftershave; it sent shivers running through his whole body as the two boys just leaned there together. Neither daring to pull apart as the two of them starred into the reflection of the mirror. Neither of them knowing their own reflections were looking back at them, just as happy as they were right now.

When the two finally climbed back into the porthole of Gryffindor common room, they were meant by James Potter and Peter Pettigrew

"Where the bloody hell have you two been" James asked, eyeing the two boys who hadn't really left one another's side since they had first leaned against one another in front of the mirror.

"No where" Sirius chuckled finally releasing Remus from his grip to plop down on the couch beside James as he loosened his tie "Remus came to find me in one of my secret hiding spots" Sirius winked at Remus.

"Hmm which skirt where you under this time" James asked laughing.

Remus gave a grunt for an answer and sat down in his normal armchair to Sirius' left, and pulled out a book "Oddly enough no skirt this time" Remus chuckled.

"Ohh" Peter squeaked, looking up from an essay he'd been writing, "Then where were you"

"Just in an old classroom" Sirius waved his hand proving it was no importance. "Just walking really, lost in thought I guess" he smiled at James.

"Well I better get going" James clapped Sirius on the thigh "My lovely flower is waiting for me to do hall duties" he gave a stupid grin as he caught the red head coming down the girl's dormitory stairs. "Catch you later fellow marauders" he chuckled.

"Mmhmm" Remus nodded opening a book. He couldn't help but feel a little special that Sirius had not told the rest of the group about the mirror, like it was only Sirius' and his own secret. Remus hoped that was how Sirius kept it.


	4. With Things That Fly

**Ok...so it this is the final update for tonight. Hopefully this one is MUCH more exciting that the other three chapters? Eh who knows, I hope you guys enjoy regardless **

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><p>With James being the new Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Sirius knew he had no problem keeping his normal post as Beater.<p>

In his hand was his Nimbus 1001, it had been a gift from his father during his fifth year for Christmas. He and his brother had both received one. Since both brothers held Quidditch spots on the team. His mother of course had not been proud of Orion for spending such money on a stupid sport, but nothing made their father happier than once a year spoiling his sons.

"Pads" James called him from his memory as he ran his fingers over his broom.

"Hmm" he asked, not meeting his friends eyes as he looked out onto the pitch from the door way.

"You alright"

"Course I am" Sirius chuckled, "Just off in a daydream" he smiled. Looking over the new captain. "Bout time you were the captain" he chuckled as James beamed proudly. "Your just gonna hand me my position right" knowing his best friend wouldn't dare do such a thing.

"If your good enough" James teased.

"Come on I got the robes and everything!" Sirius playfully cried. "No one is going to want my number anyway" he nudged his friend, eyeing his own Nimbus 1001.

"Well you never know we could give it to one of your undying fans" James chuckled and winked at Sirius "No worries mate," he clapped his friend on the back. "I'm sure you'll make it, we only have two other people trying out for yours and Anderson's position so…I think you're very safe."

Remus sighed as he watched his friends and fellow house mates flood the pitch. He never had been one to enjoy Quidditch. Even his flying lessons first year had been horrible. The wolf hated heights, thus after a few feet off the ground he would get nervous. He only few in the company of the Marauders because only those three people did he trust with his life, besides he knew if he fell one of them would race to his rescue.

"How are you today Remus" Lily smiled as she sat down beside him. "Beautiful day isn't it" she smiled.

"Yes, very nice day to waste watching those two fly around in circles" Remus grumbled. Lily raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, moon's in a few days I'm a bit snippy"

"I can tell" Lily chuckled. Lily was the only person other than the marauders who knew about his condition. Well Snape also was aware but that hadn't been his choice. No Sirius sadly had made that choice for him in fifth year thinking it would be a lovely prank to play.

"Why are you here" he asked "You never come to tryouts" he raised an eyebrow and looked at her, watching her turn the color of her hair. "Ohh I see, someone has finally started to give James Harold Potter a chance" he chuckled. "Just wait till he notices"

"You can't tell him" Lily hissed. "I have a very good reason to be here…if he asks"

"Oh he'll ask" Remus grinned ear to ear.

"Oh shut up Lupin" she hissed crossing her arms over her chest.

Chasers tried out first, there were only two places to fill seeing as James always took the place of head chaser. Then keeper soon followed, after that was seeker. Which was really the only position that needed to be filled; it also was the longest position to fill, so the sun was starting to sit as the final seeker ran their run. Finally came beater, and Remus leaned forward on his seat. He ignored the curious glance of Lily as he watched the raven haired number five zoom around the pitch.

"Does someone have a crush on Sirius Black" Lily whispered in Remus' ear causing him to sit bolt upright and stare at her like she had four heads.

"E-excuse me" he squeaked "What on earth made you think that"

"Are you asking me about this particular moment or would you like a list that goes on for years" she asked grinning at him.

Remus opened his mouth a few times to respond before crossing his arms in a huff and glaring as the number five ripped past him. He wouldn't follow him, no he wouldn't allow himself. Not while Lily…oh forget it. He watched Sirius zoom past following the motions of a beater like he'd done it all his life. This for the most part was true.

"Remus, you act like it's a secret you can keep" Lily chuckled putting her hand on his knee. "Tell me, how well did the last secret you tried to keep go"

"I've kept this one for five years, I think I can finish this term with it" he answered darkly, as if to challenge her.

"Well not from me. I've seen it since third year" she chuckled. "You're not that hard to read, if those boneheaded friends of yours would pay attention"

"I'm glad they don't it'd be a disaster" he held his face in his hands "Lycanthropy is one thing Lily" he sighed through his hands. "Gay is another" he looked up at her through his fingers, she was only smiling.

"Oh Remus" she sighed. "Give me hope you're not fully gay" she chuckled. Remus raised an eyebrow and looked up at her. "Is Sirius the only boy you've fancied" she giggled, as Remus tried to shush her with his hands.

"Shhh" he hissed and sighed. "Yes only him"

"How about girls" she asked. "Fancied any of them".

There was a time Remus Lupin fancied the girl right in front of him, of course, he was in his first year and the affection quickly faded not long after. Just a mere boy who was happy to have the attention of a girl. Now and again girls had come and gone of course and he'd been on a few dates. Though none of it lasted.

"I guess a few here and there" he sighed.

"Then your not gay silly" Lily giggled "Just, play for both fields, which honestly thrills me because if you were gay I would have no hope of finding a decent man. Because you know what they say" she smiled.

"No…actually I don't" He smiled Lily always had a charm to make him feel better.

"All the good ones are either gay or taken" she chuckled at his expression "So as long as your bi I have hope yet" she grinned ear to ear.

"You mean hope for James"

"Yes hope for…I mean NO!" she blushed and pushed him "You're an asshole" she grumbled "Nevermind there is no hope"

Remus' loud laughter rang out through out the pitch. Unknowingly to him causing Sirius Black to turn and glance at him.

Once trials were over and team members picked, Sirius headed in the locker room to change.

"Wanna tell me why Moony was hanging out with Lily" Sirius asked leaning against his locker looking at a new freshly showered James.

"Eh, Lily was here" James poked his head out of his towel causing his already messy hair to fling in all directions.

"Yes mate, were you too busy to notice" Sirius asked pulling his shirt over his head.

"Well… as Captain I tend to try and pay attention to those trying out" he chuckled "Wait how did you notice"

Sirius gave James a look there was no way he was going to tell his best mate that Remus' laughter had sidetracked him, na- uh no way.

"Well I guess I got bored of watching everyone try out waiting for my turn, and while scanning the stands for birds, I noticed that red head of yours sitting beside Moony" Sirius shrugged. That had been another lie, what was up with him lately and lying?

"Ahh, well it's nice to know she came. I wonder why" James pulled his pants up as he mulled the idea over.

"Your scaring me Prongs…not even going to brag…your growing up" Sirius sighed "It'll be my turn next" Sirius cringed "Nevermind I'm going to Neverland"

James eyed him.

"Moony gave me this book to read in second year…don't ask"

"You can read" James teased, earning himself a punch in the shoulder as Sirius walked off to the showers.

"Promise not to tell anyone about this conversation" Remus pleaded, walking up to the castle standing just outside the stone circle where the marauders had agreed to meet after the tryouts.

"My lips are sealed" Lily chuckled. "Though you might want to tell him, you never know what can come of it" she giggled.

"Come of what" Sirius asked as he finished walking up the hill, James by his side.

"Nothing" Lily giggled to herself. Ignoring the look Remus shot her.

"Oh now Evans we don't keep secrets"

"Ohh but you do" she teased though a smile was on her lips. "Congratulations Captain, it seems you have assembled yourself a fine team". James looked like he was nearly going to faint at the compliment coming from her mouth. He didn't seem to speak until Sirius elbowed his arm.

"Y-yes I think so" he smiled a wide grin, doing the best he could to keep his hand from flying to his hair.

"I think they'll do well to win the cup this year" Lily smiled. James nodded in agreement, trying to avoid the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach.

Sirius and Remus chuckled quietly to one another as they watched their best friend squirm in place. Lily Evans was probably the only person alive to make James squirm in such fashion.

"Well I best be off" Lily smiled, nodding to Remus and Sirius. "You three behave yourselves" she gave them all a wave before heading off onto the covered bridge.

"Mates…did that…"

"Yep Prongsie, Lily Evans just held a conversation with you that didn't involve hexing" Sirius beamed ear to ear "After all these years who was right"

"The both of us" Remus mused. Watching his red headed friend leave.

"Prongs!" Sirius cried, forcing Remus to turn around. "You git wake up" he grumbled "Bloody hell out cold"

"Rennervate" Remus whispered as he pointed his wand into James' chest. Causing James to leap forward holding his chest.

"Fucking hell" James growled "Can't a boy faint in peace!" he rubbed his chest, before pulling his shirt away. "Dammit Lupin that left a mark" he grumbled.

"Yea yea, thank me later; come on its dinner time Pete is probably waiting"

"Why the hell didn't he join you in the pitch" Sirius asked.

"No idea" Remus grunted as he and Sirius lifted James up onto his feet. "Probably chasing another helpless girl"

The three marauders laughed at the idea, strolling onto the covered bridge.

"Speaking of girls" Sirius purred. Remus grumbled watching a group of four girls run towards them.

"Sirius" they all called. James and Remus ducked away as Hogwarts top bachelor enjoyed the flock of birds that few to him.

"I swear you think he had bird seed in his pockets" Remus grumbled crossing his arms over his chest. James chuckled.

"He sort of does Moony, what's gotten into you lately" James poked his arm "You know you can tell me anything"

"That's disgusting James" Remus grumbled "I wasn't being serious" he sighed "And it's just the moon, that's all" Remus sighed, "Come on we can save a seat for him"

With that the two marauders walked on, ignoring the coos of the girls not far behind them.


	5. For Love

**So this is a short chapter guys, I mean its not much shorter than what I've been writing, but its only two pages in word...so there will definatly be another chapter uploaded tonight. My goal with this story is to update as frequently as I can. Seeing as I myself cannot stand when fanfictions don't get updated often. And I don't want to cheat you guys with short chapters so I figured two chapters makes up for the shortness. Fair trade? Let me know what you guys think so far!**

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><p>September came and went, as it always did every year. More quickly that most of the students could even imagine. Soon they were right back into the swing of things and everything was moving smoothly.<p>

Though for Sirius Black this year had been more a bumpy drag along than the normal soft flow it had always been. Already a month in and he was stressed out. He blamed the mirror which at this moment was two floors above him. Sirius swore he had treaded a path to the mirror by now. Visiting it every second he could, trying to figure out just why Remus was who always was looking back at him.

"Sirius, are you alright" Sirius' head shot up to look back at emerald eyes.

"Evans…either I'm dreaming or you actually sounded concerned for me" he gave a weak smile. No reason to put on a front with her, even when they were small she always saw through it.

"Well…so much for being nice" she sat down beside him. "You just seemed a bit glum…plus your hiding from your friends." she raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really, just…trying to figure a problem out"

"Oh…what is that" Lily grinned ear to ear leaning closer to him. "You can tell me"

"If I can't tell the marauders how on earth could I tell you?"

"OHHH this is a big secret" Lily giggled and took Sirius' hands. "Come on Black spill. Don't make me read your mind" she gave him a playful glare. Since James had become head boy and the two had spent more time with one another the marauders and Lily Evans has somewhat agreed to stand on friendly ground with one another.

"You wouldn't dare" Sirius eyed her knowing full well Lily was very good at Divinations and the like, and was sure she could easily charm herself into his mind. "Nevermind, I know you can" he sighed.

Lily grinned and patted his hands "Come on now, just tell Miss. Evans what's a matter maybe I can help" she smiled. She always reminded Sirius of a mother tending to her children, no matter who or how old they were. Lily always treated everyone like that. Sirius gave a gentle sigh and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh Lily I don't know" he sighed leaning his head against the stone wall of the window he was perched in. "It's just…my love life I guess"

"Having problems getting girls are we Sirius Black" Lily gasped "The world has defiantly stopped spinning" Sirius shot her a glare and sighed.

"No…it's more like"

"SIRIUS" a girl cried as she raced forward "What are you doing with him" Sirius felt himself slap his forehead.

"Calm down Lauren, I can talk to Lily and not want to get into her pants, she's James' girl not mine" he grumbled. Ignoring the blush that dusted Lily's cheeks. "I'm in the middle of a conversation can I talk to you later" he sighed.

"No, you told me you'd meet me at the lake an hour ago I waited for you" she glared at him; Lauren was a long legged blonde, who at the moment was Sirius' latest flavor. A fifth year with all the right curves in all the right places. "So you come with me now, or were over"

"I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the lake you put words in my mouth…like you've done all week:" he muttered rubbing his brow. Lately every girl that stepped in his path had been driving him absolutely bonkers. "So unless you want to wait for me, and let me finish my conversation, since it was a little important. We can stop this" he gave her a look. Her mouth hung open, her bright red lips glittering in the sunlight.

"How dare you" she spat, turning on her heel and storming away "YOU"LL REGRET THIS" she yelled as she stormed away.

"They all say that" Sirius sighed and turned back to Lily, who had one eyebrow arched. "What"

"Did Sirius Black just let a very pretty girl dump him?"

"James' growing up is rubbing off on me" Sirius chuckled. "Plus she was already driving me crazy".

"Well I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little proud of you" Lily smiled at him.

"Why"

"Simply because you let her dump you" Lily chuckled "Remus would be proud of you too" she glanced at him from the side, watching the black haired boy practically squirm at the mention of his friend's name. "Ohh so this is about Remus" Sirius sat up stiff and straight as a board and starred at Lily like she had slapped him.

"W-what about Re-Remus" he stuttered. "There is nothing to do with him" Sirius mentally smacked himself in the forehead; the only way to be more obvious is to tell her flat out.

"Aww that's so sweet" Lily giggled "You've fallen for Remus"

"I HAVE NOT!" Sirius shouted before covering his mouth and glaring at her. "I have not" he could feel the heat on his face as it crept up from the back of his neck.

"Oh this is adorable, does James know"

"No, and he won't ever find out. Neither will Remus if I have any say on it"

"You should tell him, Remus that is. He won't mind"

"The last thing Moony needs on his plate is knowing one of his best mates wants him…no I just can't let them know. It…" he shook his head. "You have to swear on all that you hold dear you will not tell anyone" Sirius looked up at the redhead, knowing without her swearing she wouldn't whisper a word to anyone. He didn't like the frown that was on her face, thankfully James wouldn't see it otherwise…there would be problems.

"Sir…fine, I won't tell a soul" she sighed. "If you promise you'll tell him"

"Never"

"How is that even fair to him Sirius?"

"The same way its fair that you've rejected James for years" Sirius eyed her. Lily went to open her mouth and say something against him before he stood up. "Think about it Evans, were almost one in the same. Denying ourselves something we want, just because we might get hurt". He turned away from her and walked down the stairs, not daring to look back at the face he was sure was about to hex his retreating back. But it never came; he never noticed the small smile on her face as Lily Evans decided maybe she just might put herself in the line of fire, all in the name of love.

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><p><strong> Ohhh Lily is coming up with a plan...well at least James might just get lucky ;)<strong>


	6. Before the Moon

**Well this will probably be the last update of the night. First full moon of likely many since hopefully, if the story works out the way I want it too this will most likely go through the Marauders last year of Hogwarts...so ton more is in store ;). That is of course if all of you readers out there are enjoying it :)**

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><p>Remus sighed as he looked at the calendar in their dorm rooms.<p>

"Tonight will be one wild night" Sirius whispered in Remus' ear as he stood behind him looking at the calendar. Remus hid his shiver as he looked behind him looking into Sirius' thundercloud colored eyes.

"For you maybe" he grunted as pushed past his friend. "For me it's another night of pain and bound curses"

"Way to suck the fun out of it" Peter muttered from his bed as he pulled his shirt over his head. "I mean damn Remus that was a day ruiner"

"I'm sorry the three of you think it's just another game while I have to suffer for you three to have a blast" Remus collapsed on his bed with a heavy sigh. His head was pounding; his skin burned and itched like the devil. He hated waking up on the days of full moon, he'd much rather sleep till the evening then rush to his hiding place. But today the full moon had fallen on a school day as it normally happened to be his luck. So of course today was going to be a terrible day. It didn't help with the fact that his mood had been much darker for the past few weeks, trying to ignore feelings for a certain marauder.

"Um…" James started poking his head out of the bathroom "Moony, you ok mate. I mean I know its full moon and all but…you're never this"

"Bitchy" Sirius sighed. "You'd swear you were a girl as well as a werewolf"

"EXCUSE ME!" he snapped as he flicked his wand causing the curtains of his bed to swallow him up, as he curled into a ball and hid from the marauders.

James and Peter gave each other a glance before heading to the door.

"Talk to him, we'll be in the common room" James whispered to Sirius.

"Yea…if I die, you can have my apartment" Sirius chuckled, knowing good and well that Remus might just hex him to kingdom come in his pre-werewolf temper. "Moony" Sirius tried, inching closer to Remus' bed.

"Go the fuck away" Remus growled he could hear the wolf inside his head as the two marauders left. He was alone with Sirius, the one thing he had been avoiding this whole week as the wolf inside howled and demanded to be closer to the dog to claim him as his mate. "Just leave me alone"

"Remus" Sirius sighed, standing outside of the curtains to his bed. "Your gonna have to come out you can't skip classes"

"You do it all the bloody time" Remus hissed.

"I do, but you're not Sirius Black." the curtains pulled open and Remus let his eyes rest on Sirius' broad chest, instead of his eyes. Though honestly that hadn't been one of his brightest ideas, but at least it wasn't lower like it had been early this morning.

"Ohh and your so fucking privileged" Remus rolled over on the bed, turning his back to Sirius. He felt himself hold his breath as the bed gave way as Sirius sat down on the bed.

"No, I just don't honestly care. But you know you do Moon, no reason to even try and hide it" Sirius' hand touched Remus' shoulder setting the boys arm ablaze.

"Leave me alone" Remus grumbled, he felt himself shiver as Sirius' hand trailed down his back, it had been a subconscious movement for him to roll on his stomach and let Sirius rub his back.

Normally this had been nothing more than a normal thing Sirius did. His hands always seemed to unknot any knot. If it was on string or wherever else. Remus gave in to the soft groan that bubbled up his mouth. He almost wanted to rip his shirt off his body and let Sirius touch his bare skin. He almost wanted the other boy to know just how hot he turned the wolf's skin. But that would be too far, Sirius might have been comfortable enough to massage his back. But never shirtless.

"I swear" Sirius grumbled "Shirts were invented by the damn devil" he growled. "Take the fucking thing off" Remus had sworn he was dreaming, was Sirius really demanding him to take his shirt off.

"W-what" Remus rolled his head over, unable to hide the blush on his face.

"Take your damn shirt off Moony, or at least your sweater…its getting in my way" Sirius muttered this time looking out the window like he had seen something out of the corner of his eye.

Remus let his fingers gently pull his sweater away from his body, afraid to even attempt to pull of his shirt. Instead he untucked it, and laid back on his stomach. "Er…better"

"Much actually" Sirius smiled, as he let his hands run back over Remus' back. The two marauders ended up ditching breakfast, instead ended up getting lost in small chat and Remus enjoying Sirius' hands on his back.

Eventually the blonde fell into a slumber, a smile on his face. Sirius didn't have the heart to wake his friend as he scribbled him a note, promising to cover for him and to take his notes.

Remus woke up as he heard the dormitory door shut behind Sirius. He reached up and read the note and smiled a sleepy smile, before shedding his clothes and tucked the note in one of the books that was on his bedside table, not daring to lose the innocent scribble. Remus had a terrible time with keeping little notes and things the marauders wrote to one another. He'd started it after he'd caught Sirius doing the exact same thing. Claiming it'd help him over the summer, which oddly enough he was right. He curled up under the covers and hid from the world, waiting for dinner to come.

When dinner did finally roll around, Remus was only aware of it when he felt hands gently shake him.

"Come on Moony" James called to him from his sleep "Its dinner time, you need something to eat" he felt James sit on the side of his bed. "Come on Moon, get up"

"I'm up" Remus muttered rubbing his face. "What time is it?"

"Half past six" James chuckled. "Gotta get some food in you before you run off to the willow don't we" he smiled. Remus had felt much better after this morning. His head no longer ached like it had, and his anger had bubbled away. Apparently all he needed was a good hour alone with Sirius to quell the wolf. That and his dreams had been anything more than innocent.

"Oh" Remus sighed as he looked at James. "What"

"Nothing, just wondering what Sirius did to get you in a good mood" James chuckled. "You actually seem pretty happy with the moon on its way". Remus all the sudden felt very cornered, did he know? What was going on?

"Oh just one of Sirius' famous back massages" Remus chuckled. "Practically lulled me to sleep" James wasn't buying it.

"That all" he asked, Remus let out a breath.

"Well we talked, but that was about it" there was no way he'd mention how just the feel of Sirius near him calmed the beast within. How his soft voice calmed the creature into submission, happy just to be around the one person he felt was somewhat of his equal.

"Yea you two have been very distant, Pete and I, well we thought you two had had some secret that we weren't allowed in on" James chuckled. Remus felt like someone had thrown him in ice cold water as his body stiffened up.

"Of course not" Lie. "We'd never hide something from you" another lie.

"Like being a werewolf" James chuckled.

"I was sworn not to tell that one"

"Well I know you and Sirius are thick as thieves so one only knows what you two hide"

"Same to you Prongs" Remus grumbled.

"Me and Sirius might be just as close" James crossed to the door to allow Remus privacy to get dressed "But I've never muttered Sirius' name in my sleep" James chuckled as he slipped out of the door, unaware of his friends mouth down to the floor.

Remus felt his gut fall to his feet and his heart lurch to the top of his throat. "W-what" Remus whispered to himself. Oh God…had he really called out for Sirius in his sleep?

Remus was dressed and down to the common room in a few minutes and put on a smile for the marauders even though inside his head was reeling. Did James know? How had he figured it out? Would he tell Sirius?

"Bout time" Peter squeaked "I'm starving"

"Your always hungry Pete" James chuckled.

"So is Sirius" Peter whined pointing to Sirius, whose mouth at the moment was being entertained by a sugar quill. "SEE even now he's eating"

Sirius looked between all of the marauders like he had no idea what was going on "What am I doing"

"Were talking about your eating habits"

"What about them" Sirius chuckled already knowing where this was going.

"Pete here said he was hungry and I said he always was then he said you were the same" James mused. "I think he was trying to ask why I didn't tease you about it"

"Because simply James knows how I get when I'm hungry and he doesn't like to deal with me, therefore he always keeps me fed"

"Exactly" James nodded. Remus walked up behind the couch and leaned against it. Looking his three friends over, he reached over and took the sugar quill from Sirius broke off the one end he hadn't touched yet and popped it in his mouth.

"And if you were really hungry Pete" Remus chuckled through his now sugar filled mouth. "You'd easily have just done that" he smiled.

Sirius and James chuckled as they stood. "No one has germs we already don't share"

"I wouldn't touch anything that had been in Sirius' mouth if I was paid"

"Hey dogs' mouths are ten times cleaner than humans, let alone a rat" Remus chuckled licking his sugary fingers clean. "And by the way those things have nothing on chocolate".

"You've told me this before Moony" Sirius chuckled slinging his arm over Remus' shoulder. "And I in turn always ask, why do you steal half of it then".

James laughed "And his response always is. I thought it'd taste different this time"

"You guys are jackasses" Remus grumbled.

"We just know you that well" James grinned "Come on Pete lets get dinner"

Peter gave a squeak and ran to stand beside his friends. "Yes! I am starving"

"We heard" the marauder chorused causing the smallest of the boys to mutter to himself.

Dinner ended too quickly for Remus' liking as soon after he was led away by Madam Pomfrey, and headed on his journey to the whomping willow. But once inside of the willow he ran forward knowing very soon he would be joined by the infamous marauders. Though this time they would be a stag, a dog and a rat.


	7. Within Sunshine

**So, this is my first time ever writing full moon scenes...hopefully its ok! I haven't even read many fanfics that write this part so I didn't have many examples to go on, so hopefully its alright XD. Maybe I'll get better with time.**

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><p>Sirius was the first to break through the trap door of the shrieking shack. It had taken too long, five minutes too long. It seemed like fate would almost deal them a cruel hand, James couldn't transform in the small passage that lead to the shack. Peter not only was too small to lift the trap door on his own but wasn't a big enough distraction for the wolf.<p>

Sirius felt his heart break as he heard the cries of his friend as he transformed. "HURRY UP" he shouted running up the stairs his long legs easily going three at a time. The wolf hadn't emerged for two years without the marauders at his side. And for the first time since Remus, was a wolf. Sirius crossed the opening mid transformation. Hearing James and Peter climb up, still in human forms. Golden eyes glared back at Padfoot as the wolf tried to push Sirius aside to get to James and Peter.

Ears pinned back Padfoot launched himself forward throwing Moony to the ground with his surprise attack, it didn't take long for Moony to recover as he quickly tossed the dog aside, like a throw cushion. Now that the smell of human was gone, he threw back his head and let out an angry howl.

Sirius meanwhile whimpered in the corner, he'd landed wrong on his paw. It hurt like hell as he tried to stand on it. A quick call from Prongs answered his whine. Moony walked over and looked at his now wounded pack mate. Tonight would be a night in, there was no way. Moony laid down beside him and started to lick Padfoot's bleeding paw. Padfoot whimpered and nuzzled the wolf's fur. He could hear the clamor of hooves and small paws. When Prongs emerged after a few twists of his head through the door he starred at the black dog, paw dangling. He let out a soft whine before the wolf licked his muzzle.

"It's ok" the dog barked and licked the wolf's face. He would be in no playing condition tonight, though he was afraid his now most likely broken paw would cause the wolf to harm himself. Prongs bleated and nudged Moony to raise up. Golden eyes glared back into Prongs' hazel eyes, before giving off a growl and standing. Prongs repeated the same gesture to the wounded Padfoot.

Padfoot stood on three shaky legs, what would not have been a problem for a human was now a problem for a dog that was not used to having to stand on three legs. His legs trembled as he swayed in place for a few moments before regaining his center and wagged his tail, finally getting the hang of it.

Moony gave a happy bark and the two dogs played, though Moony was much gentler than usual. Even the wolf inside knew his pack member was injured and dare not try and injure him more. The four animals raced around what would have been the front living room of the shack. Much until the wolf was finally tired and flopped down on his side, sides heaving as he panted. Prongs followed and laid against the wolf's back. Wormtail who most of the night had been trying to avoid being stepped on, climbed on top of Prongs and laid on his back. Padfoot laid down gently between the wolf's legs and slid his head between the Moony's front paws. This was the normal happenings of the end of a full moon, all of them curled up beside one another.

Padfoot waited, until the last of his friends fell asleep before letting his own head hit his paws, and letting his grey eyes slowly close.

Padfoot woke with a start and whimpered as he jerked his injured paw. He could feel Remus transforming back as the boy clung to his fur.

"Easy Remus" he could hear James whisper. Peter had long since left, Padfoot could no longer smell him near, he probably was standing guard waiting to come back and warn the marauders to leave out the back door right as Poppy was coming. "Shhh, it's almost over" James whispered again. Normally soothing Remus into his transformation back was his job. Apparently he had over slept or the transformation had been earlier. "Shhh, its ok" eventually all they could hear was Remus' whimpers. Padfoot transformed back into Sirius and pulled Remus from James' lap.

"Go find his clothes, I've got him" James have a relived nod, Sirius tended to make sure James and Peter both slept through that part, James had only seen it twice and as much as he loved Remus it was heart breaking to watch and Sirius knew deep down James couldn't take watching his best friend suffer. "Remus Shhh" Sirius whispered stroking Remus' hair "Shhh, it's all over" he whispered again.

Remus looked up at him, though hazy gold eyes. "S-Sirius"

"Yes Remus, it's me, Shhh"

"I heard James"

"Yea….I accidentally over slept I'm sorry"

"It's ok" Remus chuckled softly. "Damn its cold in here where did the heat go"

"It transformed back" James chuckled leaning down and handing Remus his clothes. "Put these on" he whispered. "I'm with Peter, standing guard" he smiled. Remus and Sirius nodded and watched as James ducked down the trap door.

"He hates watching me retransform back" Remus whispered as Sirius held his weakened friend against him as he slowly slid his shirt over Remus' shoulders.

"He just hates seeing you in pain as we all do"

"Yea but he really hates seeing it"

"It's a hard thing to watch Moon" Sirius felt himself breathe Remus in and smiled. "It took me a while to get used to it too."

"Thank you" Remus whispered. "I don't know how the hell you put up with this"

"Because we love ya Rem" James poked his head back up. Sirius was just finishing with Remus' boxers and pants. "Gotta hurry, Poppy's hot on our heels" James crawled back through the trap door Peter soon followed. "Come on Pads lets go" James hissed.

Remus pushed Sirius away "go on, before you get caught" he hissed. "Quickly"

"See you at the hospital" they all whispered.

"See you there" he called back, right as the door shut, Madam Pomfrey slipped through the trapdoor.

"Remus how on earth you get up and are already changed after your night I'll never know" she smiled and held out her arm for him to take.

"Sometimes Madam Pomfrey I don't know how I do it either" he smiled, knowing the marauders were listening in through the door**.**


	8. Play Your Game

**Yes this chapter does have James/Lily. My muse wanted James/Lily and wouldn't write anything else. But its important to plot, and there is Sirius/Remus at the end so it is here! Hopefully its not a crappy chapter, this whole chapter fought me the whole way through!**

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><p>Lily twirled her hair between her fingers. She couldn't believe she was standing under this tree. She looked at the carving in the bark and sighed.<p>

"I didn't think you'd come" James chuckled as he walked under one of the lower laying branches of the tree. "Thanks for coming by the way"

"Well I had to see what you were on about. Something that just couldn't wait till later" she raised an eyebrow. Then looked behind him "Is it just you"

James nodded "Padfoot is Care of Magical Creatures, Moony is in the Library and Pete…well I actually don't know where he is. He's been off on his own a lot more lately"

Lily nodded. "Well what did you need to talk to me about" she sat down in the grass and smiled up at him. James couldn't help the grin that slid across his face, had this been even a year ago James wouldn't have known what to do with himself, but now, now it was just a little more realistic for him to be this close to Lily without being hexed.

He sat on one of the roots that had emerged from the ground and sighed a heavy sigh "I guess I should start with, what would you do if you thought one of your best mates was gay"

Lily starred up at him, she couldn't hide the grin that slid on her lips "Who told you"

"What" James looked at her, Lily giggled.

"Ohh nothing, what do you mean" she asked, giggling to herself.

"Now this isn't funny Evans" James grumbled.

"No its not…it's just, oh tell me James what did you see!"

"Lily…if I didn't know better" he chuckled. "Well it started a couple days ago, I heard Remus talking in his sleep" he looked up to see her looking at him, he couldn't understand the look in her eyes but he continued on "And…well" he sighed. "I heard him say Sirius' name in his sleep" he muttered rubbing his face in his hands "I almost felt like I was prying into someone's private thoughts" he grumbled. "I feel horrible about it"

"Why, its not like you pried you went to wake him I'm guessing"

"Yea…it was the day he was sick"

"Ohh, sure it wasn't a fever talking" James' look answered her question "Well…does it bother you"

"No, I've seen it for years, or at least I figured that was the deal"

"So you think Remus is gay" Lily giggled, but quickly stopped when James gave her a dirty look. If it was one thing James Potter did not and would not stand for was someone to make fun of his friends. "Sorry, its not a laugh at them it's an inside giggle"

"He's talked to you" James leaned forward "Am I right?" Lily felt herself cringe; she'd just broke her word to Remus. Or had she? James came to her; she shrugged if she didn't tell him he'd know if she did he'd know.

"Yes he's talked to me" Lily sighed; knowing the look on James' face only meant bad things. "But I cannot disclose information"

"So he is" James whispered. "Sirius is his crush then" he watched Lily squirm. "You don't have to answer me, just…I don't know." James huffed and sighed. "Sad thing is, is Rem's been like this for years, meanwhile Sirius hasn't even noticed. Poor Rem…probably has had so many broken hearts."

Lily looked at him, almost not believing her own ears. She knew James Potter cared about his friends but this side of him Lily had never seen. She reached out a hand, nervous if she touched him he might revert back to the annoying boy he once had been. When her hand hit his knee he looked up at her, confused.

"Maybe they need a helping hand" Lily whispered. Sirius' words he had said a month ago echoing in her head. '_Think about it Evans, were almost one in the same. Denying ourselves something we want, just because we might get hurt_'. She shook her head.

"What are you talking about" James looked at her confused. "Sirius isn't gay, there is no point." Lily huffed

Lily was not about to ask him out, no she was not. She shook her head. She would not ask James Potter out on a date. Then Lily grinned ear to ear, James was suddenly very nervous about the grin on her face.

"Lily"

"Well…I was thinking" she sat back pulling her hand away from his knee. "What if they had a model to go from?"

James starred at her like she wasn't making sense, which outside of her own head she probably wasn't

"What are you talking about?"

"Let's have a study date" she smiled standing up. "Where would you like to meet?"

"A date with me" he asked, she couldn't hide her grin. 'Yes Potter, I have declined you for years I am asking you on a date' she thought.

"Yes James, a STUDY date" she looked at him, there was no look of hurt or rejection. Maybe James had grown up. "I need some help with Transfigurations and I know you're the star student, so…wanna meet later" she asked.

James grinned ear to ear, Lily felt herself blush a little bit. In all of her seven years of Hogwarts no matter how hard she struggled in Transfigurations she never asked for help. And here she was, now with a crush on James Potter, asking him for help.

"When and where, I'll be there" he couldn't have hidden the delight in his voice if he had wanted too.

Meanwhile, off in a random broom closet on the forth floor, Sirius Black was straightening his now

wrinkled shirt. He could already tell he'd have a hicky later. Damn girl had latched onto his neck and not let

go of him.

He looked over the brunette who had taken his hand and had him follow her after Care of Magical Creatures getting out early. And had led him to this room, apparently she had this already planned out. And Sirius was never one to turn down a good snog.

But it didn't ease the knots in his stomach when they had started and it sure didn't help them now even after they were done. What was going on with him? In all of his Hogwarts life he had never felt like this.

"Siri" her sweet voice called to him. He shook his head of his thoughts and looked at her, giving her most of his attention. "Anything the matter" she ran her fingers up the buttons on his shirt and he looked down at her. He gave a soft chuckle and reached out to retie her tie.

"You must not tie this yourself" he chuckled "That or you weren't even trying"

"I wanted you to take it back off" she whispered pushing him against the wall.

"I would love to" he lied "But I have a class in about ten minutes and the last thing I need is another detention two months into term" he felt his mind freeze up and choke. What the bloody hell was wrong with him? Girls never scared him, and here he was practically terrified of this girl. No it wasn't fear it was guilt that bubbled underneath his skin. That's what made him this way.

He looked into those blue eyes and saw gold glitter back at him, full of hurt and betrayal. He didn't even understand why he saw that. Why were Remus' eyes looking back at him? They weren't dating. And he sure as hell wasn't in love with him.

"Ohh but you skip all the time" she purred "Remus will take notes for you, like he always does" she licked his lips "One more go around"

Sirius hated the phrase saved by the bell, but right now as it rang out through the halls he had never been happier for it.

"I'm sorry Karen, maybe later" he smiled "I really have to go" he pushed past her. "I'm sorry" he smiled and gave her cheek a quick kiss before he grabbed his bag and left her in the closet.

He had gotten down the hall and already working his way up the stairs before he stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't have a class, no. His next class was potions and that was fifth hour, he still had a free hour. Why the hell had his mind tell him he had a class?

"Sirius, where the hell are you going" that voice caused Sirius to turn so fast he should have had whiplash.

"Remus" Sirius asked bewildered at seeing his blonde headed friend starring at him.

"I asked where you were going" Remus chuckled.

"Um…" Sirius stopped his mind halted. He realized just what class his mind had thought he had, he realized whose schedule he was following. "I figured I'd walk you to class" Sirius smiled. "I had nothing going on"

Remus gave him a look, Sirius knew he could see right through his lie.

"Who are you running from this time" Remus chuckled as they started back up the stairs.

"No one" Sirius smiled "Just…for some reason my mind wanted to join you in Divinations"

"You hate Divinations"

"Yes I do but apparently my mind thought it wanted another go"

Remus' laugh made him smile even bigger. Oh bugger was he in deep.

He sighed as Remus gave him a look at the start at the stairs up to the divination room, knowing now they had to depart.

"I'll see you later; you know Professor Nimble hates you"

"Blow up one crystal ball and a man hates you for life"

"It was his after all"

"It was an accident"

"So you say" Remus chuckled and clapped his friend on the back. "I'll see you later, at Potions promise"

"You better" Sirius grinned, watching his friend ascend the stairs only after his back entered the door did Sirius turn heel and head the other direction. He figured he could hide with the mirror for an hour. Since who knew where Prongs was anyway?


	9. Black and Blue

**And another chapter :D I actually really like this chapter! Hopefully you do too :D**

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><p>Remus grunted as he felt a something land on him. He opened up one of his golden eyes and looked back into sliver dog eyes.<p>

"James, your hound woke me up" he grunted as he rolled over "Call him off'

"Padfoot come here boy" James whistled chuckling at the wolf's reaction to Sirius leaping on him. James and Sirius were never up early, unless a Quidditch match was going on. That or something as equally exciting was going on.

The black dog whined and nuzzled and licked Remus' face, tail wagging back and forth.

"Sirius cut it out" Remus tried his best to sound angry as he pushed the dog off again sitting up "Happy" he grunted. Padfoot plopped himself right into Remus' lap and wagged his tail, each wag smacking against Remus' legs. "What do you want" Remus chuckled as he scratched the dog between the ears. He laughed as Padfoot's back leg thumped against his thigh. "Ohh that feel good huh" Remus chuckled as he ran his hand through the dogs silky black fur. Padfoot whined as Remus stopped, licking his face. Doing a dogs best to ignore his lips, though Remus half heartedly wanted him to lick his lips, maybe just to get a taste of his friend.

"Alright Padfoot come on" James grabbed a handful of the dogs scruff as he pulled him off "Get dressed and come on. I let you wake Moony up, now get up"

"You mean he's naked" Peter squeaked as he pulled his pants up "Ew Sirius that's disgusting"

Padfoot raised a dog eyebrow and pulled away from James before he dashed over to Peter and tackled him. Peter squeaked and shoved the dog off.

Sirius transformed back and laughed, holding his stomach. Remus starred at the almost naked Sirius, he had the perfect view of his friends back. He starred at it, letting his eyes wander all of his back before letting his eyes trail down his spine and shivered to himself as he stumbled out of bed. Ending up falling face first on the floor legs trapped in his covers.

"You alright Moony" James chuckled, a smile on his face.

"Er…yea, apparently I tangled myself in my covers" Remus chuckled looking up at James, his legs were indeed wrapped up in the covers. "Care to help a fellow marauder out"

"Nope I gotta meet Lily, Sirius can help you" James grinned. Remus hid his blush counting down in his head to calm his now racing heart.

"Sirius do what" Sirius asked now paying full attention to the conversation which he had missed.

"Help Moony out, I gotta go see Lily"

"Peter can't do it" Sirius chuckled as he walked over to Remus and looked at him. "Geeze Rem…got yourself in quite a tangle don't you"

"Oh shut up, its your fault" Remus grumbled trying from his position on the floor to free his legs. It felt rather weird to have all the blood rushing to his head.

"How on earth is it my fault" Sirius lifted Remus up before trying to get to work on his covers. "Big baby"

"I-I got it" Remus stammered, afraid if Sirius moved his hands any father up he might stumble onto a very large surprise.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Ya sure" he teased as he turned around walking to his trunk. Remus couldn't help watching him leave, and bit back the groan that dared to slip through his lips.

"Positive" he grinned. His minds inner workings let his eyes linger farther than they should have on Sirius, before he got out of bed and started his own morning routine.

The group of four boys walked to the pitch, Sirius James and Peter were lost in conversation as Remus read as he walked. Quidditch had never been one of this things, but the marauders always dragged him along. He had brought a long enough book to last him through the match, or at least he hoped. Seeing as with Quidditch one never knew just how long it would last. Which is why it was always started early in the morning.

"Its such a nice day" Peter chuckled.

"You excited to see if your girlfriend can play Pads" James teased. With the mention of a girlfriend, Remus tripped over himself, grunting as he felt someone grab him. Sirius had his hands on Remus' shoulders.

"Thanks" Remus muttered, he was about to reopen his book when Sirius snatched it from his hands. "Oi give it back" Remus reached for it as Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Its Quidditch Moony, come on! it's the first game of the season no need to be rude" he chuckled "And Prongs its not like I haven't seen her play before, she was Ravenclaw's Keeper last year" Sirius chuckled. "And it is a very nice day Wormy" Sirius linked his arms behind his head, Remus' book still in his hands.

They reached the Pitch with Remus pouting over Sirius still having his book. When they sat down they only had to wait a few moments before the game started. Sirius waited long enough for Remus to be paying attention to the game to look down at the book he had been reading. He couldn't even read the title.

"Moon, what language is this in" Sirius asked looking the book over, unsure of exactly what he was looking at.

"Its Gaelic" Remus chuckled, his eyes never leaving the pitch. For some reason he was actually interested in this game. Half of him looking for which of the girls was Sirius' new flavor. The other part of him watching because he had nothing else to do.

"What's Gaylick" Sirius asked causing James to snort.

"You know good and well what it is" Remus turned his head away from the game to look at Sirius, giving him a look. "it's a Scottish language"

"Can you speak it" Sirius asked, an eyebrow raised.

Remus chuckled "Can you speak Latin" the answer would be yes, Remus knew good and well Sirius could speak Latin, and it was one of those things he did that secretly made Remus' knees go weak.

"Course I can" Sirius beamed proudly "Quod intelliguntur sicut hoc? Proinde quod vis dicere? Fortasse quam Lorem puto te sunt? Vel quantum amo vos ite? Quid hic mihi signum."

Remus shivered and was glad his small groan was hidden by a cheer from the crowd.

"What on earth did you say" James asked looking at him.

"Remus asked if I could speak Latin"

"It was a rhetorical question" Remus chuckled "I know you can, you tend to do it to show off"

"Because its not a skill many can do"

"Your brother can" James teased.

"He's a Black its one of our lessons as kids" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Would explain why you two are so boring" James snorted.

"I think its interesting" Remus smiled "And yes Sirius I can speak Gaelic"

"Oh one day when I can actually hear you you'll have to give me some of it" Sirius chuckled "Only fair"

"You've heard me speak it before" Remus chuckled as Sirius started to shout something at the refs for missing a foul. Remus shook his head his words already forgotten. He reached over Sirius' lap to retrieve his book. When the boy gave him a dark look, almost daring him to open it Remus gave him a weak smile as he sat it on his lap. Today he wouldn't read, today he'd just enjoy the game.

The week came and went as did the one to pass and soon it was Halloween. As head boy and girl James and Lily were responsible for the festivities for the year. The heads before had done a very traditional ball. And as much as that idea thrilled James, since heads always went as a pair. He decided to be fair to Lily and decided a large party would be a better idea.

"So for this party" Sirius started at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, everyone was chattering about just who was going and what was going to happen.

"What about it" James asked sipping on his pumpkin juice.

"What exactly is going to happen"

James looked at him oddly "Er…its gonna be like our parties we throw in Gryffindor?" He looked at Remus who shrugged, apparently that was a good enough description.

"Except for the whole school" Lily piped in from behind them "Come on James" she smiled at him. "We need to finish preparations for this party of yours" she smiled. When James stood up he held out his arm with a wide grin. Lily rolled her eyes but gave him a small smile as walked on James shrugged and followed behind her.

"She seems mighty friendly with him lately" Sirius grumbled.

"You must not be aware she's also letting him help her with Transfigurations" Remus chuckled. Peter was starring at him.

"Does that mean Lily finally gave him a chance" Peter asked. "because if so, where does that leave us" he asked, looking at Remus who to Peter always knew the future.

"Um…well it leaves us very single" Remus laughed. Sirius gave him a look "Well ok it leaves me and Pete single and Sirius still able to have any girl he wanted."

"Well I'm not single" Peter smiled " I got a date for this party tonight"

Sirius and Remus looked at him then too one another.

"SO I'm the only single one!" Remus asked more out of surprise than frustration. Of course the wolf in his head muttered to itself about how his mate was closer but Remus was a chicken.

"Apparently so mate" Sirius beamed. "Karen and I are going together. Pete has a boyfriend"

"HEY!"

"Girlfriend" Sirius chuckled. "So I guess you are the only one alone Remy dearest"

"Maybe I'll stay in the common room" Remus muttered.

"NO it is Halloween! You will not ignore the festivities you will come with me even if I have to take you as my date" Sirius grinned, very much liking the idea of taking him.

"And disappoint your beloved Karen" Peter chuckled.

"She'd get over it" Sirius chuckled.

Of course as fate would have it, Karen had other ideas about the evening and ended up dumping Sirius later that same day. So it ended up Sirius and Remus were alone while everyone else around them seemed to have a partner for the party.

"is it too late to ask you to join me for the party" Sirius chuckled in Transfigurations.

"She dumped you didn't she"

"Like this mornings rubbish"

"Of course I'll go with you Sirius" Remus chuckled, though inside butterflies danced inside his stomach.

"Good" Sirius beamed.

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><p><strong>Translation to what Sirius says: What you mean like this? What exactly do you want me to say? Maybe how sexy I think you are? Or how much I love it when you smile? Give me a hint here what to say.<strong>

**Next chapter will be the party! Ohhh who knows what I will do *laughs evilly***


	10. Happy Halloween

**This chapter is the beginning of all the slash I think. I mean…well, it's more the big change. The mirror started everything. Now…were about to take a turn. So please bare with me I've never written anything like this, so hopefully it's good. By the way be prepared this might end up a little sad. **

**People who don't like slash, best turn away from this story from here on out. You have been warned.**

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><p>When the doors of the great hall opened and Sirius and Remus walked in. James and Lily were already there. And Peter who knew where he'd gotten off to. No one really paid much attention to the two boys. They either were dancing or just enjoying the festivities.<p>

James had gotten butterbeer for the party as well as other drinks. The party was in full swing. Remus adjusted his hat. He couldn't believe he'd been talked into actually dressing up. Since it had been optional.

"Why did we dress up again" Remus sighed, he felt ridiculous really. Walking around looking like Zorro, it had been Sirius' idea. So of course he ran with it, and now as he walked around felt like an idiot.

"Because its fun, and don't whine you look sexy" Sirius chuckled, he was dressed like the fourth Doctor from Doctor Who was excited about the whole thing. Remus felt himself blush and was all the sudden very glad to be hidden under the black hat and mask.

"Ya think so" Remus finally had the courage to ask. Sirius had grabbed two butterbeers for them as he chuckled.

"I know so dearest Moony"

"You've already been drinking" Remus sighed; he could smell the ting of alcohol on his breath.

"Only two shots of fire whiskey Rem, you know I can handle much more than that. It's just a small buzz I promise"

"Yea yea" Remus grumbled into his butterbeer, all the sudden not taking Sirius' compliment seriously. 'I can't be sexy unless you have alcohol pulsing through your veins' he thought bitterly.

"Well look here" Lily's voice reached their ears. James' laugh could be heard as he traveled behind her. "I see Zorro and," she turned to Sirius.

"Blimey Sirius, that's awesome!" James grinned ear to ear "Lily meet the fourth doctor"

Lily looked between the four boys. "Sirius Black is a nerd" Lily teased.

"Nothing nerdy about being the Doctor, coming from Gallifrey, and having a Tardis it's the second best thing to being a wizard." He looked the two over "Who the hell are you two"

"I'm a witch" Lily chuckled "Nothing special or weird I know. But eh, I couldn't come up with anything else. And I got to wear a cool hat"

"And her skirt is pretty short" James winked getting elbowed in the gut from Lily. "And I'm Merlin"

"Did you borrow Dumbledore's robes?"

"No he did not" Dumbledore chuckled from behind causing Sirius to turn on spot and chuckle nervously. "I will take that as a compliment Mr. Black" he smiled through his half-moon spectacles.

"That's how I meant is sir" Sirius smiled.

"I was just coming to congratulate Mr. Potter and Miss. Evans on their fantastic party" Dumbledore smiled "Also to ask James where he got such a wonderful robe" he chuckled winking.

"Er…well Professor it's a long story" James chuckled rubbing the back of his neck. Remus hid his chuckles as he pulled Sirius away.

"Excuse us Professor" Remus smiled as he slipped away Sirius in toe, neither of them saw the smile Dumbledore gave them.

"What was that for Remus" Sirius asked looking his friend over as they reached a table full of sweets. "If you had a sweet attack you didn't have to drag me" Sirius chuckled as he reached for a pumpkin pastry.

"I just figured you'd want a snack" Remus chuckled nodding towards the pastry in his hand.

"You can't lead a dog to food and not expect him to eat" Sirius chuckled as he swallowed. "So when are we going to dance" he asked. Remus looked at him eyebrow raised "you're my date remember"

"No we came has friends Sirius, you never said anything about date"

"I did too! At breakfast this morning!"

"I didn't think you serious!"

"Well you said yes" Sirius grumbled "Are you dumping me now"

"NO! I mean…err…this is awkward" Remus rubbed his forehead. Of course he wouldn't dump him. That was if they were really dating. No Sirius just wanted to come with someone so he had asked Remus, and of course Remus with hope in a dream that would never come true had said yes.

"Come on Moony" Sirius chuckled. Sirius couldn't help himself as he reached out and lifted Remus' chin up to look at him. "Let's have a good night". He hoped the look in his eyes told Remus what he wanted so bad to say but couldn't dare bring himself to utter it.

"Did you still want to dance" Remus asked, smiling. He couldn't understand Sirius' eyes but something in them, something asked him to hold on. He knew he was seeing things, as he had over the years, but it didn't hurt to keep believing in dreams.

"I'd like to" Sirius chuckled licking his fingers from his pastry. "But only if you want to" he heard Remus sigh and lead him out to the floor.

"If only you promise not to step on my feet"

"I've never stepped on anyone's feet; I learned when I was small how to dance well"

"Ahh you Blacks and your lessons" Remus chuckled.

Neither of them knew how long they danced together, laughing and just having a good time. Nor did they keep count of how many butterbeers they had. Also for the older students they were serving light alcoholic drinks, though no one knew how the teachers allowed it. So along with those uncounted butterbeers came uncounted amounts of those drinks. They weren't sure how long they had just been together. Just the two of them, Peter was busy with his date. And James and Lily were doing their jobs as hosts, as well as dancing and hanging out together. They had never seen either of their friends so happy.

"Well at least he got the girl" Sirius chuckled raising his glass "To James"

"To James" Remus repeated his voice a tad slurred. "Though don't tell him that their still friends"

Sirius' bark like laughter filled the corner he and Remus were sitting in. It made every inch of Remus shiver with delight. He loved when Sirius laughed like that. He loved when Sirius was happy, he loved being around the man. Everything about Sirius even the darkest parts he loved. He looked down at his drink. Maybe he should have kept count?

Sirius looked at Remus, lost in the look the other man was giving him.

"Sirius" Remus whispered it was almost so soft that Sirius didn't catch it.

"Remus" he whispered back, he could feel butterflies form, at the sound of his tone. He'd heard it so many times before but now, as a knot formed in his throat he couldn't breathe. Was Remus really calling him like that?

"Let's go up to bed" he whispered standing. Sirius caught him as he swayed. "I'm not feeling so hot"

Sirius only nodded and had his friends arm wrapped around his shoulder as he walked up to the tower. Remus was leaning on him, as his eyes were watching as they walked ahead Sirius didn't dare glance over, no their faces were too close together he couldn't control himself if he looked. Though every inch of his body begged him. And if tomorrow Remus asked questions he could blame it on the drinks. No, he wouldn't take advantage of Remus like this.

When they reached the tower Sirius laid Remus down on his bed. "You alright now" he asked, Remus had drank more than he had. Normally Remus never got drunk, but apparently either James had somehow found something strong enough to get Remus drunk or he nearly hadn't eaten enough to help with the edge.

"Undress me" Remus purred. Sirius felt himself freeze. His heart stop beating, his lungs kept him from breathing.

"W-what"

"Please…I don't feel like doing it" he whispered, grabbing a hold of the scarf around Sirius' neck and pulling him further. Sirius gulped, as his hands shook. He was so used to undressing women why did this scare him? Easy because he was in front of the man he cared most about and he was drunk and was finding every way to test his control. His fingers fumbled with the knot that tied Remus' cape and once it was done he pulled his shirt off. What he had forgotten to watch was Remus' hands which had slid under his shirt and were now running over his abs.

"R-Remus" Sirius breathed letting his head hang, he groaned softly biting down on his lip.

"You're so warm Sirius" Remus whispered sitting up and pulling him even closer with the scarf. Sirius looked up, despite every inch of him warning him what would happen, he let his sliver eyes clash into the golden ones of the man who right now had him wrapped around his finger. If Remus right now were to ask for anything Sirius would give it to him willingly.

"Remus" Sirius let out a shaky breath. He felt the blonde push his jacket off and Sirius let it fall in a puddle on the floor. He let Remus pull him over top of him. The blood in his head rushing straight to his groin. He felt himself cave in, control be damned.

"Your so damn handsome" Remus whispered, his eyes glazed over from the alcohol, and his eyes dilated from need. Sirius felt his body shiver.

"So are you" Sirius whispered leaning down, their noses touching. Sirius could feel Remus' breath on his face. "Oh Remus I…" he started before he was stopped mid sentence by the warmest mouth Sirius Black had ever felt.

He didn't stop him, didn't dare pull away. As his mind froze the seconds ticked by, and before he realized it Remus had started to pull away. In a second Sirius regained all thinking, ignoring the screams of his mind and kissed Remus back, knotting his fingers in the blonde's hair.

And the world stopped spinning as clothes were ripped off, neither caring to be gentle as they ripped them to pull them off of one another. Moans and gasps were all one could hear.

Sirius wasn't afraid until they were down to boxers. Until he could feel his partners own erection against his own did his body react.

"Rem…no…I" he pulled away, his heart cracking, daring to break "Your drunk so very drunk. If you weren't…I wouldn't, I-I couldn't tell you no" he had to fight the tears that brimmed his eyes.

"I don't care" Remus breathed "Please"

"I can't" Sirius whispered "You have no idea how bad I want to…but I can't" Sirius felt the sting of tears in his eyes now. 'No don't look at me like that Remus…please this already hurts' his mind whispered to himself.

"Don't leave me" Remus whispered, his own eyes glassed over with tears. "I'll stop…just don't leave"

Sirius felt himself swallow the lump he hadn't realized had formed in his throat. He felt his body ache, not from the need below his waist. But from the pain that his heart now had to endure. "Nothing could make me leave you" he whispered softly and he laid down beside Remus "Come here" he whispered holding his arms out, letting Remus crawl over to him and snuggle close.

"I'm sorry"

"Shhh, its ok Rem" Sirius whispered resting his head on top of his friends. "Its ok" he whispered now more to himself. "Just go to sleep, it'll be over in the morning" he could hear his heart shatter. "I promise". He held back his tears, held back the silent sobs. He waited until the soft slow breathing told him that Remus had fallen asleep.

And only then did he let his tears slip down his face. "Remus…I'm sorry" he whispered before he placed a soft kiss on the man's head "I'm so sorry" he sobbed. Sirius was never a man to take advantages, of anyone. No matter what everyone else thought. He was a good and decent man. Honestly he'd never had sex with any of his 'flavors'. Sex was meant for love, and he'd never loved any of them. Cared about yes, but never love.

And now in his arms was the man he loved, truly and deeply. And he almost let himself take advantage of him. And that hurt him more than anything. Not only that but if Remus remembered in the morning, he'd most likely hate him. Sirius let himself silently cry himself to sleep, holding Remus tight against him, as if he let him go he'd surly be lost forever.

All the while, James Potter stood in the boys dorm door way. Watching his best friend, not daring to walk over to him. He'd made a grave mistake, he felt like he had stabbed them both in the back. "What have I done" he whispered to himself.

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><p><strong>So…what did you guys think? Was it ok? Let me know. I don't normally ask for reviews but on this chapter I'd really like them, cause I want to know if I could have done better, thanks in advance<strong>


	11. Torn Photograph

**Well...let me start off by saying this update is very late. So much for my update every day idea. But hey I'm not giving up one late post will not stop me XD. Sorry about that, for those of you who followed this since the day I put it up. **

**But this is going to be a sad chapter, this is not how I planned this fanfic to go. But as writing tends to work, it has changed the story on me. And thus I have to follow the muse. So I have taken a sad turn, hopefully its good :)**

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><p>When Remus Lupin woke up pressed against his best friend he didn't think much of it. He gave a sigh and snuggled closer to him. That was until he realized there was almost nothing between them, avoiding the pounding in his head the werewolf jerked away from him like he'd been shocked with a bolt of lightning. Luckily for him Sirius was a sound sleeper and slept through nearly anything. As long as all was quite he would sleep.<p>

He looked around noticing all of their clothes had been picked up and put where they belonged. Oh Merlin, someone had noticed. He felt himself panic, as memories from the night before flooded his mind. He felt joy at first, happy that maybe now he and Sirius had a chance.

He went to snuggle back to him, his mind at ease. That was until he realized why he himself had acted out, he'd be drunk. Very drunk, then he looked at Sirius. Remus had a harder time getting drunk than Sirius. The wolf did well with alcohol and the Blacks were known for their strong livers.

"So it was only alcohol talking" he whispered. Ignoring the sting of tears forming, got up and walked over to his trunk fishing out a set of clothes for the day. Cursing that Halloween had to be on a Friday, so the whole weekend lay ahead of them. He looked at the sleeping form on his bed, content and oh so innocent looking. "I'll pretend it never happened" he whispered to himself, looking between the other beds in the room. "Pretend like this doesn't hurt" he turned away from his bed and kept walking "Pretend I don't love you"

When the water hit his body Remus gave a jolt. He'd been standing there leaning against the tiled shower lost in the memory of last night. He'd let himself enjoy the memory one more time, before he sent it from his mind to never remember how it felt to be kissed by Sirius Black. As his hands reached for his hair he started to forget what it was like to feel his breath against his own lips.

When he lathered up the rag he forgot what it was like to hear Sirius say his name, so full of need. And as he turned his back to the shower head to rinse off he forgot what it was like to fall asleep in his arms.

And when he stepped out of the shower watching the last remains of the water slip thought the holes in the grate at the bottom of the shower he felt better knowing his memories were right there with it. With all the regrets and dirt that everyone washed away.

He was dressed and out of the bathroom before Sirius even woke up. James was awake when he stepped out of the bathroom. Hazel eyes clashed with gold, the two boys communicating through that gaze. James looked away first. Remus looked out the window.

"It'd be best to forget it" Remus started testing his own voice, which dared to shake "because I have" and with that he walked towards the door. "It was all the alcohol" he opened the door and slipped out, not daring to turn back and look at the person who had just started to wake up.

The first Sirius saw was Remus' back walking out the door. The first thing he heard was Remus' last words. The first thing he felt was the cold place in the bed where once his whole heart had laid. The first thing Sirius Black thought that morning was 'I will not cry'.

James looked between the two boys, his gut knotting up in regret. He knew this was his entire fault. If he hadn't purposely laid that trap. He felt like an asshole as he looked at Sirius, the door had shut as he stirred. He could see through that stone face. He could practically hear him cry, his head hung as he all the sudden didn't feel like breakfast.

"What's wrong Prongs" Sirius' voice cracked, when it hit James' ears. He felt himself gulp hard, he almost couldn't handle this.

"Nothing"

"You cleaned up our mess last night" Sirius looked at him "Why"

"I didn't…" he cut himself off with a shaky hand through his hair. "I mean…"

"Don't think he's weird" Sirius sighed "He was very drunk last night" his flat tone made James wince. He watched the black haired boy walk past him. Sirius who normally was happy and cheerful even on the worst days didn't even hum as he walked to the shower. Instead he walked with his head hung, he wouldn't even meet James' gaze. Which Sirius always did especially when he talked. Though if he looked at him James might just get on his knees and beg for forgiveness now, knowing that the normal spark that was in his friends eyes would be far gone by now.

"I don't, for neither of you"

"I don't care what you think about me" Sirius whispered hand on the door, "Just…be there for Remus for me" he whispered as he slid inside of the bathroom.

"Because I know he won't want me there" Sirius finished as the door shut behind him, no longer able to keep the tears that brimmed his eyes inside.

Weeks went by. James had watched silently as Sirius and Remus split farther and farther apart. Like someone was slowly ripping a photo apart. It had started as a small tear, tearing apart the background. Even with the damage the true meaning behind the photo still stood.

Now with two weeks of classes behind them, a Quidditch match against Ravenclaw versus Slytherin later. The picture was nearly torn in half. Now only the bottom was left.

"Remus" Sirius tried for umpteenth time "Please…let me explain"

"No"

"Please…it's not what you think" Sirius whispered reaching out for Remus' robe. He hadn't touched the boy in what felt like forever. Remus would always pull away or give him a dirty look if he even put his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me" Remus hissed. James could hear the photo start to tear again.

"Then let me explain" Sirius pleaded. "It…I can explain"

"Why do I want you to explain taking advantage of me" another rip echoed in his ears. All that was keeping it together was slowly becoming smaller.

"I didn't take advantage of you" Sirius cried. "Please Remus talk to me"

"Ya know, in fifth year when I forgave you" Remus spat, turning now and facing Sirius. The gold in his eyes glittering, the full moon was soon upon the four boys.

"Yes"

"Well that was your last chance"

Sirius felt himself flinch, and back up. 'Please' his heart cried 'don't turn me away'.

"It was your last chance to hurt me Sirius Black" he spat, anger burning in his eyes. "I can't let you hurt me again." he shook his head "And what you did on Halloween was enough. "its disgusting" he finished, knowing that wasn't the truth but seeing the hurt in Sirius' eyes told him he hit his mark "And if you ever lay another hand on me…well you won't" with that the blonde headed boy turned back and walked off leaving Sirius standing there.

The echo of a once beautiful photo echoed inside James' head. He could see it now, falling to the ground, the two pieces fluttering farther and farther apart as the fell to the ground. He felt himself swallow.

"Prongs" Sirius whispered, his voice cracked and broken as he tried his words "Ke-Keep and eye on him" Sirius whispered. "It's your job now" he looked at his friend, the grey meeting an unwavering hazel glance. It was time for James Potter to face what he had done head on. "To take care of Moony…because I…" Sirius' head drop. "I messed up"

James watched him, stand there and watched Remus walk away.

"He'll come around" James smiled, it hadn't lasted long the first time, this time would be no different.

"No Prongs…I saw it in his eyes"

James felt his heart drop into his stomach to be devoured by the acid inside.

"He meant it this time" he watched Sirius walk the other way.

Not knowing which way to go James ran for Lily, the only person on earth who could help him.

"YOU DID WHAT" she screamed. It didn't matter that they were in the library or that Madam Pince was on her way to tell them to be quiet.

"I didn't mean to Lily…I…I thought it would help" James cringed. Lily defiantly was going to hex him.

"I can't believe you" Lily shook her head "I thought you had changed James Potter" she started "And these were your best friends" she looked him in the eye. Was that hurt…oh fuck he'd hurt her. "You destroyed their friendship and any hope they had at a love life…how could you" she looked out the window, he could see she was thinking in her mind. He knew he'd hate what was about to come out of her mouth. Like he always did.

"I think I understand Transfigurations now" she didn't look at him. He craned his neck in a painful fashion to try and look at her.

"Lily I…"

"Leave me alone Potter"

James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, head boy in all of Hogwarts, Marauder, and heir to the Potter name felt three inches tall right at that moment. Because he now had two relationships to mend and without the help of one, he knew he could not fix the other.

He did not fight her though, he took it like a man and stood up and looked her over one more time. She stood still as stone her back to him. He reached out and pulled a lock of her hair out of her face, she didn't move. She did not hex him, she stood her ground.

"I'll make this right" James whispered. Knowing deep down it might just not ever happen.

"See that you do, if you ever do." she looked at him now, tears brimmed her beautiful emerald eyes "You can try and find me"

James swallowed as he left, this was his fault. And he would fix it.

Remus Lupin was down at the marauder tree, hidden in the crook of his arm behind his second hand robes as tears streamed freely down his face. Unable to hide the pain any longer of telling his best friend, and the man he was sure he was in love with, that he never wanted him to touch him again. Why had he let Halloween happen?

Sirius was tucked away in his and Remus' secret room starring into the mirror. Lost in the reflection that played in front of him. Nothing special this time, just Remus sitting down on the ground starring back at him. His hand was placed on the surface, as Sirius reached out a hesitant hand and placed it on the icy surface of the mirror. Bound and determined not to cry one more tear, because this was his fault and he had no right to feel remorse for letting go of his control.


	12. Brother in Need

**I won't lie, I have this secret (though to my friends not so secret) obsession with the Black family. Preferably Sirius, Regulus and Orion. Something about those three, just sort of draw me in. So this chapter I bring in Regulus :D. And I load more crap onto Sirius' plate.**

**But all for the sake of family XD. Hopefully you enjoy!**

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><p>It almost was like it was fate for Sirius Black to be outside. To be walking around and just stumble into the paved courtyard. He wasn't even sure how he had gotten there, but at the chants of a fighting hit is ears, he stumbled out of his daydream and walked over. Curious of who would fight in this courtyard when teachers frequented it.<p>

What his eyes saw almost made him lose all control on the tight lid that was his temper. It didn't matter about the green robes he was wearing but in front of him stood his brother, being clobbered by a brute from his own house. He felt a dog like growl escape his lips, before whispers started.

"Shit here comes Sirius, Avery is screwed" The crowd spread as Sirius walked through wand tightly in his hand.

"AVERY" Sirius' voice boomed through the corner of the courtyard. Teeth bared "Back off of my brother before I make you wish you'd never been born"

"Oh look" sneered Avery, "The blood traitor come to save his little brother" Avery laughed, a few Slytherins who were around snickered. "He doesn't want you to come to his rescue"

Sirius pushed back his sleeves and held out his wand "I'm warning you" he growled, his whole stance seemed like a dog ready to lunge. Teeth bared and wand at the ready.

"Ohh isn't he scary" Avery laughed. "Tell him Regulus, tell him to back down"

Regulus looked at his brother, Sirius could see the look in his eyes, all the questions of what do I say.

"I suggest you grab your shit step away from my brother or I'll show you what the Black family is all about" Sirius' voice growled. He looked at his brother. He had a broken nose, one if not two black eyes, he was holding his arm wrong and he had seen Avery land a kick to his stomach. Where was his wand, it wasn't like his brother to not hex the first person who crossed him.

Avery's laugh dragged him from his mind. "Come now Black, surely you don't think you can hold up to that threat"

Sirius' eyes glittered dangerously, a dark grin slid over his features. The one handsome man now looked very much like someone you would not want to meet in a dark alley. "Are you sure about that" his voice was cold, and distant. A warning.

Avery chuckled "Where are your friends"

"Gone"

"Aww did you run away from them too…" he didn't have time to finish before a red light flew from Sirius' wand. Avery went down quick as a cry escaped his lips as he squirmed on the ground. The people around him gasped. No one fucked with Sirius Black.

"Sirius" Regulus whispered. At his brother's voice the curse was dropped.

"If anyone here" Sirius started, realizing what he had just done. "Tells anyone what they saw" he looked around "I'm coming for you"

With that the crowd scattered, no one whispered.

"Why the bloody hell did you do that" Regulus whispered trying to gather his things.

"Come here" Sirius kneeled down "Let me at least fix your nose, mother would be furious if you ruined your perfect face" Sirius chuckled. Regulus almost refused, the sight of his brother using the Cruciatus Curse still playing over in his mind. But with the soft look in his brother's eyes he moved closer.

"What the hell was that" Regulus finally asked after his nose had been healed.

"I've had a bad week"

"Wanna talk about it" Regulus reached out and touched his brothers forearm. Sirius looked up at him; the two pairs of grey eyes searched each others. It had been a while since Sirius had talked to him. At least face to face. They had written each other a handful of times over the past two years. Ever since he had left, Sirius figured their mother had threatened him if Regulus was ever found near his brother.

"You wouldn't want to hear about it" Sirius stood, offering his hand for his brother to take.

"I'm asking aren't I" Regulus let Sirius lift him up. Regulus had grown much since Sirius really had last taken a look at him; Sirius chuckled to himself his once smaller brother now stood over him by a couple inches. His hair framed his face now much more than it used to, and was that a cut from shaving?

"Well…typically people ask out of kindness"

"You and I both know I don't work that way"

"You never have" Sirius smiled. "Wanna take a walk then" Sirius motioned with his head to the opening of the courtyard.

"I'd fancy a walk, yes"

As they walked Sirius told him the whole story, he wasn't afraid to tell his brother anything. Despite everything that had happened, he knew he could trust his younger brother. Then again if he walked away at least someone else knew his pain. As they walked towards the pitch neither knowing how they'd gotten there. Sirius continued, letting him in on what had happened on Halloween, and the morning there after.

"Wow" Regulus raised an eyebrow. "And you just let him go just like that"

"That's not the worst part"

"Oh"

"No, then a few days ago he basically told me to get lost"

"NO!" Regulus gasped, though it was all out of play "did he really say that word for word" Regulus chuckled as his brother glared at him.

"I'm not gonna talk to you if you make fun of me" Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. They had walked into the pitch both of them chuckled as they walked inside the ring. "Apparently we have stumbled into the pitch"

"Course we have, you've always wanted to run to the sky when you were bothered" Regulus smiled. "You remember the little pitch dad made for us when we were kids"

"Course I do" Sirius grinned. "He was so proud of us flying around" he had missed Reg's smile fall.

"So…what are you going to do about Lu-I mean Remus"

"No idea" Sirius put his hands in his pockets "Probably nothing, I deserve it don't I" Sirius looked at him.

"No one deserves to be hurt" Regulus sighed. Sirius looked at his brother.

"I seem to hurt everyone I care about" Sirius put his hand on his brothers shoulder. "What's wrong Reg?"

"I think I messed up"

"With"

Regulus looked around, before unbuttoning his right sleeve and pulling it up far enough so the bottom of the Dark Mark was able to be seen. He couldn't look up to meet his brother's gaze knowing his brother would be furious. He felt a tug on his sleeve as it was ripped higher. He could feel it now, Sirius' anger.

"What have you done" Sirius whispered. Like he needed more pain piled on his plate.

"I made a mistake"

"Is that what Avery was on you for"

"No" Regulus looked up at his brother "You're the only person I could actually say it's a mistake to and live to see another day"

Sirius felt the weight of the world crash down on his shoulders, almost letting his knees buckle underneath it. But a Black never fell to their knees; they never let the weight of the world drown them.

Sirius murmured something as his wand tip was pointed at his brother's arm. Regulus looked between him and the wand tip then back to him. His brother's eyes were unreadable, which terrified Regulus.

"You can't get rid of it" Regulus whispered "I've already tried"

"I'm not" Sirius sighed. "I'm hiding it" Regulus' head shot up starring into his brothers eyes. "Dad taught me a spell long ago, incase you ever did this" Sirius whispered his voice full of emotion, almost causing Reg to jerk away. "Does he know, dad that is"

"Mother didn't want me to tell him. But I know he knows"

"Don't show him"

"He misses you, you know"

"I do, he writes me still" Sirius sighed. His father had always defended the oldest, on whatever he had done. In any family photos the four of them ever took Sirius was always at his father's side and Regulus on their mother's. Sirius felt anger bubble up at his mother, for twisting his brother into thinking this was ok.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm mad at myself"

"It's not your fault" Regulus looked at him "It was my choice"

"If I hadn't run off…" Sirius started "I'm sorry" Regulus chuckled.

"It's actually nice to feel air on my arm"

"Lets make that a very late birthday present" Sirius chuckled ruffling his brother's hair. "Only people with that mark can see it, as well as me. Anyone you trust with that secret can see it"

"So it's a cover spell"

"Much more than that" Sirius smiled. "But it'll keep it from being suspicious. Just don't act stupid"

"Might want to tell me that spell incase it wears off"

"Won't wear off till I die" Sirius looked at him. "Its dark magic, you know how that stuff works"

Regulus squirmed in place, he did. He nodded.

Somehow the subject was changed, and the two talked for a few more hours. Till eventually the sun started to set. Regulus had glanced at his watch.

"I better head in; a howler just might be waiting for me when I get back"

"Our hag of a mother can get over it. I am allowed to talk to you, despite what that bloody tree says"

"I know that, she does not"

The two laughed as Sirius wrapped his brother in a tight hug. "If you ever need me"

"I know just what floor to find you on" Regulus finished "You told me that my first year"

"And I always mean it"

With that his brother turned and headed for the exit of the pitch before stopping, "Fix it with you and Remus, don't be stupid Sirius. Though I know it's a strong urge for you, being stupid and all…but fix it" Sirius shouted at his brother something he didn't hear as the younger dashed off laughing.

Once his brother's retreating back was lost to his vision he looked up at the sky, he could smell the snow coming as the clouds moved in over head. He had needed today, he had needed his brother. He'd needed an ear that he knew wouldn't judge and be on his side. Even though he didn't deserve it, deep down he still knew it was his fault.

He stood outside for what felt like hours, till he watched the first few snow flakes fall. By morning Hogwarts would be painted white. Sirius left with a heavy sigh and walked back towards the castle, his stomach letting him know it was ready for dinner.


	13. One Less

**Hiya guys, I don't know if told you that I updated earlier today, since I myself didn't get a email about a new chapter being uploaded. So...I figured incase those of you who have story alerts didn't get one I would upload this chapter earlier. So you guys could know I didn't forget another day XD it just didn't send it to you. But if it did...well you got an extra chapter today XD**

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><p>"So…will Sirius be coming with us tonight" Peter whispered to James as they left Transfigurations, Remus at their heels and Sirius had already slipped through the crowd to go Care of Magical Creatures, for the past few weeks everyone had noticed that Sirius had avoided his what everyone assumed was an unbreakable friendship.<p>

"No" James muttered "Then again, you know Padfoot. He'll probably be off in the wings, watching"

"What exactly happened between those two" James sighed, Peter sadly was a very oblivious person.

"Pete…I don't know" James finally let out a breath, that he wasn't aware he'd been holding, Remus slipped past them whispering that he'd see them after Divinations. "You know them, they always fight" James didn't have enough courage to tell Peter that this time the fight was not going to heal itself.

"Yea but…at least they both hang with us, now both of them tend to branch off to themselves, Sirius even flinched this morning when I tried to get his attention."

"Well Sirius has a lot going on, his family and then this fight. And you know Sirius. The dog cannot take change" James was trying to push this off of the rats mind "Besides you remember fifth year"

"This is another one of those fights" Peter gasped "We have to fix this!"

"I doubt Remus will let us this time" James sighed. He heard Peter mutter as he walked down the stairs the two having no real place in mind.

"Well what about Lily, she could help. You two seemed to be chummy a few weeks ago."

James had never had the urge to beat up Peter before, but right now, now seemed like a fantastic time to start. "Pete…don't talk about Lily"

"Shit, everyone is falling apart."

"Shut up Pettigrew"

"Yes James"

Remus sighed as he tried again to focus on the lesson in front of him. He would have told the professor that his crystal ball was broken if the class hadn't been centered about reading a person's deepest thoughts and desires. Lily looked at him for the third time in the last ten minutes to see the blonde marauder tug at his hair in frustration.

"You could just forgive him" Lily whispered. The second she saw his golden eyes glaring at her from underneath his eyelashes "No your right, he deserves it"

"What the fuck are you even talking about" Remus growled, half tempted to slap the crystal ball off the table and storm out. But no that would be doing exactly what Black wanted. When had he started referring to him as Black? He sighed.

"Um…James told me"

"Gossiping asshole"

"Remus…calm down"

"I will not calm down, because I am calm"

"That's why your knuckles are white from clenching your fist" Lily pointed to his hands which indeed were clenched so tight his knuckles were white as snow.

"Its none of your business" the blonde snapped.

"Thankfully I know you're only being pissy because of full moon"

"I'M BEING PISSY" he managed to shout, before looking around. He had also risen, now the whole class and the professor were staring at him "I mean…err" Remus' face flushed, before turning the same scarlet as his bedcovers.

Lily pulled him down by his robe sleeve and mouthed a sorry to the professor. "Oh yes, calm as a cucumber" Lily mocked. "You either need to calm down, or talk to him"

"Fine" Remus muttered "I'll calm down"

Lily refrained from smacking herself in the forehead. That had not been the answer she wanted.

The rest of the day had droned on, after his Divinations class outburst he had taken a long walk around the castle, trying to calm the wolf within. The wolf had been angry since Remus had distanced himself from Sirius. And no matter hard he tried there was no quelling the angry beast.

He would not forgive Sirius, he had forgotten the memory. He made sure he had, but he hadn't forgotten the hurt in being used.

He knew tonight would be a hard moon; he could feel it underneath his skin. But as he walked the pathway to the shrieking shack. He had to stop a few times to catch his breath. The wolf was angry, and it was going to take it out on Remus. He almost didn't make it to the shack in time. He nearly had enough time to pull his shirt over his head when the moon ran its abusive fingers over his tortured skin.

He could hear his own screams echo back in his ears before the darkness of the wolf took over his mind.

Soon Moony was right beside Prongs and Wormtail and the door to the shack flew open as the three raced across the open woods.

Prongs had thought it over many times, to keep the wolf inside. He wasn't sure if he could fight the large animal on his own if he got out of hand. But he couldn't take its pitiful cries to be free. Eventually Prongs gave in as Wormtail hopped onto his shoulders and the three raced off. Prongs hoped he knew Padfoot well enough that he wouldn't be far behind.

Moony let out a howl, one that you could hear the pain as it left his mouth. When no answer came he howled again, this time full of worry. Where was his pack mate? He sniffed hard, he couldn't smell the dog. The black dog that always had played and chased him.

They ran all around the snowy countryside. Hunting for someone that would not be there. Prongs had finally started to turn the wolf around to return to the shack as the moon began to set.

They walked back, Prongs and Wormtail ignoring the whining of the wolf as he searched for his lost pack mate. Moony felt like he had been betrayed, lost and left alone. Even though he was with the stag and rat.

As the three finally reached the shack, the wolf waited as the deer climbed back inside the house before Moony tilted his head back and let out one final howl. As he climbed into the shack he hoped that his lost pack mate would hear his call, and come find him.

Sirius had one of the boys dormitory window's open, looking up at the moon. This had been his first year in two years that he had not joined the marauders. When the howl reached his ears he frowned as he tilted his head back and howled back, hoping it would carry to the wolf's ears.

In his sleep Moony's ears twitched hearing his self proclaimed mates call, he fell deeper into slumber knowing he had not been forgotten. His mate nearly was only lost, and all he had to do was find him.


	14. His Second Moon

**Um, this chapter is sort of all over the place. It basically follows Sirius' day to a point. Alot of back story stuff, as well as plot moving forward. But I think there are quite a few funny points in it, so yea :D**

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><p>Sirius was dressed and ready for the school day at five thirty in the morning. James and Peter had only been in bed twenty minutes. But Sirius had only gotten an hour of sleep; he had fallen asleep in the window sill. It had taken only one time calling the boys name to get him to stir, when normally it took twenty minutes. James ordered him to bed and he merely laid there till he heard James and Peter fall sound asleep.<p>

And now here he was standing outside the hospital wing. Typically the marauders came together after they got a few hours of sleep and after a quick breakfast. But Sirius couldn't even think about eating before he saw his friend. Hoping the moon had been kind to him.

As he pushed open the doors he looked inside, he could see Madam Pomfrey leaving a curtain which he knew was Remus'.

"Mr. Black he cannot see you now, he's sleeping"

"I won't be long" Sirius looked at her "If he were awake he'd just tell you to tell me he was sleeping or to turn me away period…I just wanna drop this off and see him" Sirius whispered, in his hand was a bar of chocolate he'd skipped Care of Magical Creatures to run off to Honeydukes to get.

He could see Madam Pomfrey fighting an inner war. "You two haven't talked much this past few weeks have you" she finally asked, motioning for him to come inside and shut the door.

"No ma'am" Sirius frowned, the woman had always felt more like his mother than his own. Between her and Mrs. Potter he couldn't tell who was more motherly.

"I could tell" she sighed "If it hadn't been from this it would easily be from what I've seen the past few weeks. Not even sitting beside each other"

"Excuse me" Sirius interrupted "What do you mean see by this" he asked, afraid Remus was very hurt.

"Oh" Madam Pomfrey chuckled "Between his body being a little more scratched up that usual, your in here at five thirty in the morning dress and begging me to let you sneak in" she chuckled "Go ahead, but be quiet, if you wake him I'll hex you out of my wing"

"Yes ma'am, thank you" Sirius smiled as he slid past her and into Remus' corner of the hospital wing. He felt his stomach twist into a tight knot. "Oh Moony" he whispered walking over, laying the large bar of chocolate on his table. He brushed a bit of blonde hair out of the boys face. "I'm sorry" he whispered. "For everything"

He looked at the boy's sleeping form, "For Halloween, for not being there last night, for everyday in between" he reached out and took Remus' hand. He'd seen him scraped up worse than this, but it hadn't been recently. Typically only on blue moons or the first few moons after the marauders had joined him. But for the past year he had never looked this bad. It's like his body had taken revenge on him for the stress Sirius had placed on him. "I hope one day you can forgive me" he whispered softly. "But I understand if you can't" he stroked Remus' hand with his thumb just looking at his sleeping face. Any words he wanted to say no longer had any strength to climb out of his mouth.

He sat there for a good thirty minutes just holding his friends hand, watching him sleep. When he started to feel his own eyes start to drift shut he stood up and tucked Remus' hand back under the cover. The boy gave a soft whine when Sirius released his hand as the warmth left it. "Shhh" Sirius whispered running his fingers through the sleeping boy's hair. "I'm always right here" Sirius reached over and rested his hand over Remus' heart, feeling his own flutter. "No matter where I am, I'm always here" he leaned down, body trembling and placed a soft kiss on the boy's mouth. "I love you Remy, don't forget that" and he sighed as he left, he passed Madam Pomfrey on his way out and he gave her a small smile. She returned it as he slid out of the door.

Sirius had taken his place back beside James. Though today in Transfigurations he was sound asleep, McGonagall had noticed. She had tsked as she walked by the sleeping boy, but she didn't wake him. After she had seen the pitiful look James had given her.

It was no secret the marauders where her favorite students, though she did not treat them any different than the other students. It also was no secret she had a soft spot for Sirius Black. Most would say it was because she had been affected by the young boy's charm. While that was one of the reasons it was also his defiance against what others expected of him that made her take a liking to the young boy. She loved all four boys as much as the rest of her house and her students, but most everyone knew that when the marauders left Hogwarts no one would replace them in her heart.

When the bell rang James nudged Sirius who woke with little to no effort and rose.

"Mr. Black, can I see you a moment" McGonagall smiled from her desk as she straightened up from her class.

"Yes ma'am" Sirius smiled. When she was addressed as ma'am McGonagall's head jerked up, as well as earning a stare from a few students that remained in the class. Sirius Black did not call McGonagall by her ma'am. Nor did he call her by her last name or merely Professor. No since three months after his first year he had called her Minnie, of course it had annoyed her for some time but after realizing there was no changing it, she got used to it.

"Sirius" she started "Is there anything going on" she asked, watching the boy. Everything about his behavior had been off the past few weeks most of the teachers had been thrilled at first at his sudden good behavior. But now it had them all on guard and put off, not a prank the past two weeks. No undone homework. Sirius had transformed over night.

"No ma'am" Sirius smiled.

"You normally are a very good liar, but right now I can see right through you" McGonagall sighed "What's wrong"

"Nothing" Sirius sighed. "Nothing that can be fixed really"

"Try me"

"Pro-"

"Ok if you won't tell me then I'll give you a detention" the middle aged witch had nearly had enough "I cannot stand this behavior"

"Ma'am"

"THAT RIGHT HERE"

"…what" Sirius asked confused.

"You're…behaving, it's driving the staff and I crazy"

"Um…haven't you been telling me for years to behave?"

"Yes but not like this!"

"What would you prefer then?"

"Being yourself"

"That tends to get people hurt"

That stopped McGonagall in her tracks, as she looked at him eyebrow raised, demanding he continue.

"Just…"

"Go on"

"Remus and I had a fight; I was myself…ended up making him hate me. So…I'm trying something different" Sirius looked down at the mahogany desk, avoiding one of his favorite teachers' eyes. McGonagall would have laughed, probably so hard she collapsed if she hadn't known by the boy's tone he was very serious.

"Mr. Lupin can't hate you"

"He can and he does" Sirius looked at her.

"And you think he'll like you this way" she asked leaning forward eyeing the boy. Almost daring him to tell her she was wrong.

Sirius shrugged. "Who knows, he might hate me more but at least I tried"

"Sirius…" she sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose "Stop trying to be something your not. Even if it drives everyone crazy we'd prefer you that way" she looked at the boy "Because honestly you're driving me crazy. This is not you, I've know you since you started school, really if you want to think about it I knew you when you were a child. This is not you, and I for one do not like it so as your professor I demand you stop behaving like this"

"What happens if I don't" Sirius asked, a grin slipping on his face.

"You know how you hate the trophy room"

"Yea"

"I'll make you wish it never existed" Sirius blinked at the look in McGonagall's eyes.

"Dearest Minnie" he watched her smile "that's all you had to say"

"Good, now go carry on and cause chaos so I can punish you for that instead"

"As you wish" the eldest Black bowed before her before grabbing his bag and walking out.

When he left the room he couldn't help but sigh. His head hurt, he'd been thinking all night how to fix this and he was no where closer than he had been two weeks ago. He aimed a frustrated kick at nothing in particular as he stormed down the hall. Walking straight to the hospital wing, knowing it was a stupid idea he did it anyway. Because that's what Sirius did, he made stupid decisions and either they worked or they didn't. Either way it's what he did and he liked it that way.

When he walked inside he could hear Remus' voice he was talking to Madam Pomfrey. He watched the older witch pop her head out from behind the curtain to brush him out the door. Sirius shook his head, not a single no would turn him away. As he slid past her as she gasped at him.

"Morning Moony" Sirius smiled plopping down in the chair that he had been sitting at earlier that morning.

"What do you want" Remus grumbled, Sirius smiled at the already half eaten candy bar, he must have figured it was from James.

"I wanted to know how my best friend is doing"

"Wouldn't know him"

"You do too, stop playing like that"

"Like you have room to talk" Remus spat. "Look I made it clear…"

"That I wasn't to touch you" Sirius sat back "So I won't touch you" Sirius smiled. "You never said anything about talking to you"

Remus starred at the boy, almost like he had given him whiplash. He didn't realize he'd blinked so many times before he realized Sirius had mocked his blinking. "Get out"

"Why"

"Because I don't want to see you"

"But you always want me to come down here"

"That was before you…"

"How about we get this straight" Sirius leaned forward his hand resting in his lap. "You pulled me onto you" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "And don't look at me like that" Sirius chuckled "You did, if you'd let yourself remember"

Remus pushed back the memory of knotting Sirius' scarf in his hands, and pulling him over him. He tried to forget the way Sirius looked at him, full of shock but in this eyes glittered, was that hope? No it was lust because Sirius liked a thrill, along with the fun of a new chase. And poor Remus had been that new chase. He shook his head, no Sirius had crossed the line, and Remus was acting on drunken feelings.

"Leave, please" Remus whispered finally looking at Sirius. "I don't want you around, your toxic to me"

Sirius starred at him, almost confused as what he was talking about.

"I can't have you near me" Remus continued, "You put these ideas in my head, these…things I can't explain" he looked at Sirius, who's eyes hadn't left his face. "You used me for a cheap thrill"

"Now look here Lupin you…"

"Pulled you on top of me yes I know that, but you're the one who didn't stop when I clearly was drunk" he looked at Sirius whose eyes left his face and now stared at the floor. "Which is called taking advantage, or is that not what you told James second year"

Sirius felt his face flush, he felt his hands tremble. That's exactly what he had told James second year. He had told him it was something he would never do. And what had he done?

"But…"

"No buts, maybe with time these wounds will heal, but…I already have to deal with one moon, I won't deal with another" and with that Remus had made his close. He had made his final point.

Sirius stood up, nodding. He couldn't force any words to come out of his mouth as he stood but as he reached the curtain he stopped.

"You know Remus" he started before he turned and faced him; Remus looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "I'd never taken advantage of anyone, except you. Most people would take that as a hint" and with that Sirius walked away, hoping maybe Remus might just understand.

When Remus heard the hospital wing doors shut he shook his head, shaking the pitter in his heart, the pitter of hope that he had taken that the way he had wanted to.

"Yea, it means you thought I wouldn't care" Remus whispered curling into his covers. He wouldn't let his heart trick him into falling back into his second full moon. Fall into the arms of a man who was just as dangerous to him as the full moon.

Even if the moon gave him strength and power. Even if the moon had brought him so many gifts, such as his friends. Even if the moon never really hurt it except for the curse of the wolf.

He wouldn't even let himself think that some people thought love was a curse.


	15. The Turntable

**I actually had to do a little research in this chapter. Then again I do typically for every chapter, just to make sure it's as cannon and realistic as possible. And thus when I brought up the idea about a record player…I had to research it, along with music. Of course I went with the Beatles, not because they were easy for that time period but because I can honestly seeing Sirius enjoying them. Even if at the their music was ten years old XD**

**Also...what is up with changing how you save stuff? I always save it as a .wps and it saves...I had to change it to post this *sighs* Oh well.**

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><p>Remus placed the tone arm on top of the vinyl record Remus smiled to himself as he heard the familiar songs fill the boys' dorm. The Beatles filling the room, he wouldn't have dared touched the record player if anyone else had been in the room. Since he had long since avoided anything to do with Sirius.<p>

Even though he loved his record player, it had been a Christmas present from Sirius their second year. Remus' had long since broken and when he unwrapped it Christmas day, he had almost been brought to tears. He could tell it had been the best money could buy at the time. Along with six other records from the three boys he nearly could have died that day and been the happiest person alive.

Not only was he listening to his record player but he had what most likely was Sirius' favorite record playing. He hadn't picked it intentionally but he had just put it on the turntable and started it up, to realize what it was, and then was already sitting on his bed with a book in his hand to really want to get up and change it.

As he read he hummed along to the music, reclined back on his bed. If he had been in the real world he might have noticed someone walking around, humming right along with him. He might have noticed that he was being watched.

But when Remus got into a record and a book the rest of the world seemed to freeze for him and he just could lay there and get lost, that was until he had to turn the record over then he would resume being lost to the world.

He sighed as he realized this side was almost over, typically if he was reading whoever was in the room, which normally was Sirius he'd just flip it without disturbing Remus from his place, though this time he'd have to get up and turn it himself, he sighed. He never used magic on the record player afraid he might break it. So he did it all by hand, even if James said it was easier to do it by magic. No one understood how special the player was to him.

When the final song ended Remus didn't have to get up as he heard the scratch of the record and the flip as the music started again. Remus normally would chuckle and keep reading but right now, after thinking he was totally alone looked around. He stared at the black headed boy who stood beside one of his most precious possessions.

"Sorry" Sirius chuckled weakly "You know this is my favorite record…" he smiled weakly "And you were reading…it's an old habit"

The two boys had not talked since the incident in the hospital wing. And now it was nearly time to leave for holiday. Remus didn't dare make a sound as he went back to his book; he swallowed the butterflies in his stomach. That Sirius despite all of their mess remembered their old habits and followed them. It had almost made him smile, almost. No he was still mad at him, how dare he blame what happened on Halloween night on him! Sirius should have watched him not let him drink so much; then again he was near impossible to get drunk.

He did his best to focus on the book in front of him, he was rather enjoying the chapter he had been on, but now all he could focus on was the sound of the record and Sirius' voice as he sang along. Apparently the boy had settled in his bed to do some homework, Remus took a double take. Was anything due tomorrow? He didn't think so, was Sirius doing homework that early before it was due?

"What are you doing" Remus finally asked his curiosity getting the best of him. Sirius looked up; the glint in his eye confused him.

"Er…well I have homework to do" Sirius smiled "Its DADA homework" Remus nodded and turned back to his book. No communication, enough to be civil then leave it be.

He had read the same line four times as Sirius' singing continued to breech the bubble that was Remus' concentration. Eventually he gave up and shut his book and lay back on his bed.

"Am I bothering you?"

"No" Remus lied, why had he lied? Of course he was bothering him. Typically the boys singing never stopped him from reading, of course he listened to the sound more, but he still was normally able to read. Had he starved himself of Sirius' voice so much his mind would let him do nothing else but listen to it? He'd started to realize every time he heard him talk whatever Remus had been doing seemed to stop as he listened.

Even if it had been one word, he focused on it.

"Hey Rem" Sirius started, Remus jumped at the use of his nickname.

"Hmm" he repositioned himself in his bed, daring a glance at the eldest Black son.

"Did I ever tell you how I got that record for you" he asked, as he laid his quill on top of the now rolled piece of parchment.

"No you did not" Remus sighed, of course Sirius would know he was craving his voice, he'd try and get the Remus' attention.

"Well it was actually my fathers" Remus looked at him. "But I spent so much money on the player he wouldn't let me buy anything else" he chuckled "Can you believe it, then again I was twelve years old" he sighed "So when we went home after I made sure it worked, I went into his office and searched through his own records, since he had his own, despite what my mother said. And well, I pulled out my favorite record and asked him if I could give it away" Sirius smiled as the memory flooded his mind, of his twelve year old self looking up at his father who's eyes were wide when they realized just what record was in his hands. "He thought I was crazy" he continued, "That record in particular was one he played for me to fall asleep at night." Remus felt a tear prick his eyes, as he imagined the memory Sirius was sharing.

"When I told him I wanted to share it with my best friend, he pulled the record from my hand" Remus listened "I thought he'd tell me no, since…well I guess it has tons of memories, which it does, but you know parents" he looked at Remus and smiled. "Well he pulled the record out and looked at me and smiled." Sirius took a deep breath "Asked me if he could have one more play through before I gave it away"

Remus felt himself roll over to turn his back to Sirius; he could hear the emotion in Sirius' voice as he replayed the memory in his head. He could just picture a twelve year old Sirius, walking into his father's office in the dead of night and looking through his collection, then after finding his target pulling it from the stack and looking at his father and asking if he could pass it on to his friend. Pass on an object that held so many memories for the two. And there it was in his record player, still playing music. Remus felt himself swallow the lump in his throat.

"I guess" Sirius started "What I'm trying to say is" he sighed. "I'm glad you still play it, even after all I have done to you" he heard Sirius' bed squeak as he got up. "I know you'd never forgive me, and I don't blame you" Remus wanted to sit up and tell him he forgave him, but his pride kept him lying with his back to his best friend. "But" he sighed "Nevermind" the door opened and closed behind him as he left.

Remus rolled back over and faced Sirius' bed, he could feel his eyes burn from the few tears that pricked his eyes.

"Damn you Sirius" he finally sat up as the record ended, as he got up and walked over to the player he sighed. Giving into the temptation, flipped the record over and played it over again. He almost wondered if he could some how extract memories from an inanimate object, so he could see the memories that Sirius had passed on to him, and through that record now shared with him. When he lay back down on the bed he sighed, why had his pride not let him stop him? Or was it even pride, was it fear?


	16. Winter Divide

**Ok…this is a short chapter, so I figured I'd upload this one today too. So another day of two chapters! Aren't I so sweet XDD? You guys have been so fantastic with reviews and such I shall just spoil you. Enjoy guys! And yes...the title is lame I had NO idea what to call it, so if you guys have any other suggestions let me know, I'll credit you if you give me a cooler title XD**

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><p>The original plan had been to stay at Hogwarts during Christmas break, enjoy their last year at the castle. But with the fight still raging between Sirius and Remus, James almost couldn't take it. Though secretly he was hoping to talk to his parents about the situation, maybe they could help?<p>

He looked around the train compartment, the sun had long since set in the sky and the starts glittered through the window of the train. Sirius had his head against the window looking out at the night sky. Remus was sitting on the same side as him, nose stuck in a book. Pretending the rest of the world was not right there with him. And Peter, James looked to his right and sighed he was sound asleep oblivious to the limited amount of air in the compartment.

He had forced both boys to sit in the same compartment, demanding they not ruin his holiday because they both were being pissy little girls. He had been kind for almost two months now, trying to let them work them out. But he had seen he was not about to get an easy way out of this problem.

"Are you going to come to my house for Christmas day" James asked, looking at Sirius. The black haired boy turned his gaze from the window and chuckled.

"It'd be quite pointless for me to spend it alone in my apartment wouldn't it" Sirius smiled. He had bought an apartment last year, after leaving his parents home. His uncle had given him more than a little pocket change, and he had bought a nice place in the middle of London, where you could see Big Ben from the window. He loved his place but it was no secret the boy was lonely when he was there. "Yes I will be there, for the normal Potter Gala for Christmas as well"

"Good, your father told you if he was coming to it this year"

"When does he not"

The two boys chuckled as Remus sighed.

"Sirius" he started, Sirius jumped at the sound of Remus calling him all too eager to talk to him.

"Yes"

"Don't get chased by cops again"

"No problem Moony" Sirius grinned, though the grin fell when he noticed the glare. Instantly putting that wall back up, he should have known better, shouldn't have been cheeky. No he had tried to push it aside when he should know that Remus would never forgive him. He thought about how everything had gone all wrong as he turned his head back to the window.

When stopping at Platform nine and three quarters the students climbed out. The marauders were the last of the students to leave, slowly walking out. Remus gave them a nod as he turned and rushed to his mother's side. His mother smiled at him and waved to the two marauders. Peter had already disappeared to find his own parents. And with a pop Remus and his mother were gone.

"He'll hate me forever" Sirius sighed "Your gonna piss him off when I show up while he's at your house"

"Remus John Lupin will get over himself" James grumbled as he pushed his trunk "Hey your dad's here"

Sirius looked up and sure enough Orion Black was standing there, Regulus at his side. But for once he had waited to see his oldest son. Which wouldn't have been odd, if Regulus wasn't waiting there too?

"Dad" Sirius called, the older male smiled a large smile. He had been standing with the Potters. He and Harold Potter had been talking while James' mother Jane and merely been rolling her eyes at the two men.

"Sirius" Orion called, grinning larger as the boy practically broke into a run. "My boy" he held out his arms as Sirius hugged him. "Now look-it you" he motioned for Sirius to turn, which he did while Regulus snickered.

"Look every bit like you, eh"

"It's creepy Harold I am starring in a less attractive mirror" Orion grinned as Regulus doubled over with laughter at his brother's defeated face.

"I think its backwards dad, I'm looking in an older less attractive mirror" Sirius grinned as Regulus now hid his laughter as their father glared at Sirius.

"And here I stood waiting to see you and you insult me"

"You started it" Jane mused. Orion's friendship with the Potter's had always caused most of his family, as well as his wife to stick their nose up in his direction. But Orion's parents hadn't really much cared since Harold had married a pureblood.

"Hello Sirius" Harold clapped him on the back "You'll be joining us for Christmas?" Sirius nodded and grinned, though he almost let it fall as he noticed his father's smile fall.

"Come on Dad" Regulus sighed "Let's get home before Mother has it out for us"

"Yes" Orion sighed resting his hand on Regulus' shoulder "before she has it out for me you mean"

"Exactly"

The group chuckled as Sirius wrapped his arms around his father one more time, half tempted to never let go. But when he pulled away he grabbed his unsuspecting brother into large hug and grinned "You can't leave without a hug and a kiss" Sirius grinned as Sirius kissed his brother's cheek.

"EW" Regulus gasped pulling away. "DAD"

"I'm not into it, sadly for you boys incest runs in the lines"

"DAD" the two echoed. Causing the whole Potter troop to fall over laughing. Orion just grinned ear to ear as he nodded one last time to his eldest and friends before placing his hand on Regulus' shoulder and with another pop they were gone.

"Well" Jane sighed heavily "I'd offer you to come home with us" she smiled "But I know you would like to go back to your own flat"

"Yes ma'am I would, I probably need to do a lot of dusting" Sirius smiled.

The Potter family chuckled and said their goodbyes.

"See you around Christmas James" Sirius grinned.

"See you then" James clapped him on the back, a final pop reminding Sirius that he would be alone till Christmas time.

Sirius sighed and walked through the platform, stepping onto the Muggle Platform and started his journey though all of London and to his dark lonely apartment.


	17. Unforgotten

**OMG I FINALLY GOT IT TO WORK! I am SOOO sorry this update is so fucking late guys! and I have been fighting all evening! It kept logging me out when I was trying to update, so how does three chapters sound? To say I'm sorry (I've been writing like mad while I was fighting with this site today!) Hopefully you guys enjoy these chapters!**

**I named Sirius' owl Tenebris (Te-ne-bris), which in Latin means Dark.**

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><p>Christmas Eve was soon upon Remus Lupin, and as he laid in bed, counting the minutes to Christmas day he couldn't help but dread it. This had been the first year since the Marauders had known one another that he had not bought Sirius a Christmas present. In all his life he'd never not done something for someone out of spite.<p>

But the idea of giving Sirius something for Christmas, with all the joy it always brought for him to pick it out and to give him something that had taken time to figure out and money that he didn't really have to spare, didn't seem like so much fun this year.

"I doubt he got me anything" Remus sighed. "Cause that sounds like Sirius. If he's mad he won't spoil me either"

But the question was, was Sirius Black mad? He'd tried more than a dozen times just on the train alone to get Remus to talk to him. And Remus hadn't jumped to the bait but once, only to remind him not to almost land himself in a muggle jail. And he could remember the glimmer of hope in Sirius' eyes when he had been addressed, only to be let down when Remus scalded him.

Remus never was one to hold a grudge, but dammit if he wasn't now. Though honestly he couldn't really figure out why. But then again if he really thought about it. Remus rolled over his back now facing the window which he wouldn't tell himself he had been looking out it to see if any owls came. James had told him in a letter that he'd receive his gift at his house on the twenty sixth. Since it was too hard to send by owl. Remus didn't have the guts to ask if Sirius would be there, then again he didn't want to know. Because if he was he was afraid his pride would make him write James telling him he'd just see him at Hogwarts and he could get it then.

No Remus had been looking out that window to see if an owl came. The marauders had started a tradition that at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, the owls would be at their destination and gifts would be received.

But this year the tradition had been broken. Remus had not sent his owl, James' and Peter's gifts were wrapped. Since Peter had went to warmer places for Christmas Remus had told him he'd receive it at Hogwarts not wanting to send his owl to far away from home, saying the climate change might provoke the bird to never return home. James had said to wait and the two exchange gifts at his house on the twenty sixth. And Sirius had nothing.

He sighed again, still very confused why he hadn't bought him something even if it was small. And he muttered, why he was still mad at him. Then he starred at the wall, he wasn't mad any more. He finally let himself accept it.

No the problem was he still felt very taken advantage of. He had done the best he could to forget how that night had felt with Sirius. But he couldn't stop his dreams from replaying it over. There where mornings especially as of late, where he would wake up and taste Sirius on his tongue. And there were times he'd wake up and swear the boy had been there all night long.

And then there came the part that was his emotions. Remus wouldn't admit it out loud, but that night that special Halloween night, had shown him that despite being taken advantage of, Remus had fallen very deeply in love with his best friend. And that was the scary part, what if he let Sirius back in his life? Would he slip up and let Sirius know just how he felt, even after tell him Sirius himself that the two of them had been disgusting?

Remus rolled over on his back and stared up at his ceiling, the memory almost causing him to be sick. He couldn't forget the hurt and pained expression Sirius' eyes had shown him, even as the man tried to stand strong and take the hit like it meant nothing.

And right now as his mind wandered, he thought about how lonely Sirius must be. He frowned; he hoped he had found some random girl who just wanted to have a bit of fun. But he knew Sirius wasn't like that. No Sirius held Christmas as the one time of year to behave, and leave it to friends and family. It was a special time for the boy, and he would never spoil it. No Remus knew his friend was alone, probably lying there as well. Wondering if Remus would send him anything.

Remus shook his head hard and covered his face in his pillow and screamed into it. Muffling all the sound of the inner battle going on inside his head. Did Remus really want Sirius to be lonely and miserable thinking about him? Just as he was doing? Or did he want him to be happy and not even having a single thought about him. He was torn both ways.

His screaming fest was interrupted by a knocking that came from his window. Startled by the noise the boy leaped up and reached for his wand. His own owl starred at him from its perch. The tan barn owl merely stared at the boy with annoyed look.

When Remus finally gathered his wit he looked out the window he knew that owl, and his heart dropped into his stomach. It was Sirius's large eagle owl. Peering at him, the owl's large golden eyes almost mirrored his own. He felt his fingers shake as he walked slowly over to the window, and opened it up for the owl. Who once inside shook in a dog like fashion to shake the snow from his feathers.

"Hello Tenebris" he smiled as he ran his fingers over the black owl's soft head. The owl gave a pleased noise. "Yes yes, I know I'm your favorite person, besides your father, eh?" he smiled "Probably because I can actually pronounce your name" he chuckled. The owl gave a soft hoot before holding out his leg.

Remus gently untied it; it was a small box, only about two inches wide in both length and width. It was much smaller than any present Sirius had ever sent him, he untied the knot from the owl's leg and quickly the owl hopped onto the window sill. Remus could tell by the owl's gaze he was not allowed to leave until the package had been opened.

Remus let himself plop onto his bed and let out a deep sigh, he opened the letter first.

_Dear Remus,_

_I know you probably didn't get me anything. Which is ok, that doesn't mean I cannot buy you something. I thought for hours over what to get you. Because I didn't know exactly what to do for you this year. After seven years, you'd think I'd have a clue, right? Well I first thought about a book, but without you here when I was shopping I didn't know exactly which one. So that idea was quickly forgotten._

Remus felt himself chuckle, another tradition of the Marauders was to get together either before they left school and write a list or to go out shopping with one another the day after they came back form Hogwarts. The tradition had been another broken with his and Sirius' feud; he let out another pained sigh.

_But quickly I realized there was something you needed. I know, the box is small right now, but all you need to do is resize it and it'll all be there. So do that before you read on, and don't worry your not in any danger with this one._

Remus had no idea what his friend was writing about, so he laid the letter aside muttered a simple charm, even though he was under aged they wouldn't notice it with his mothers own magic. He watched as the box grew four times its original size, Tenebris gave a happy hoot as the box grew. Apparently the owl had very strict orders.

When he reached for the box was when he realized it was actually very heavy, he felt a guilty knot form in his stomach, and here he was opening a gift from Sirius when he had not bought him a thing. And he doubted he'd get a chance to before he saw him again.

He pulled the string that kept the box bound off and slowly opened the lid. When he caught the sliver glint of a mirror his head tilted. Sirius had bought him a mirror? Why? He reached out and took the handle in his hand, it was brass, and it glittered in the little light that flooded his room from the now half moon. He starred at it utterly confused. Why had his friend sent him a mirror? His first reaction was Sirius had created a two way mirror for him, but he knew that required Silver, which Remus couldn't touch without being burned. He flipped it over in his hand it was an older mirror, and had been taken well care of. It was a very plain mirror. Nothing too intricate but then again as he thought about it Sirius' nor James' mirrors were intricate they were very simple as well. He kept himself from calling to James or Sirius; he didn't want to face the disappointment with half a letter to read. So he laid it down gently beside him, as he picked the letter back up.

_Let me say this, you have no idea how hard it was to find a mirror without silver. Especially for what I needed it for, but my father has a good friend who makes magical mirrors, so after handing him the task of making one fit for a werewolf he happily went to work with the new task._

_When I picked it up this evening, yea it was that short notice. He had told me if it didn't work to send it back and he'd make it work for free. So…that's kinda why it's so late. I wouldn't leave the shop until I knew one million percent you would have your own two way mirror._

Remus felt his mouth drop as his eyes fell back on the brass mirror. Sirius for years had tried to make a mirror himself for Remus that he could use. With each try being unfruitful the boy had given up. And here he was, running to someone who could try and do it to have it done, and wouldn't leave till it was done. Tears pricked Remus' eyes as he all the sudden felt like the most important man in the world.

_Now, Remus…this isn't me trying to suck up to you. Which I'm sure you're thinking. But it's very far from that. I guess this is me trying to say, if you ever need me. Even if you can't see me, I'm there I'm just a call away._

A tear slipped from his cheek and the plop it made on the paper startled Remus for a second, he hadn't realized he was holding his breath either.

_I know you're still angry with me. And as much as I'd wish you'd just get the hell over it. I know you have your right, and I will sit back and wait until you forgive me. Even if that means I am buried before it's over. I'll do it. Because…_

Remus starred at the letter, there was something written there that was completely scratched out, like he had written something and had changed his mind. Remus wondered what exactly it was, what he felt so bad about saying that he would scratch it out.

_Anyway, Merry Christmas Moony, I hope you enjoy it. Oh and don't worry not a lick of silver was used. Apparently you can make Aluminum work for the same process, so it won't ever burn you, or affect you in anyway._

_~Yours forever_

_Sirius_

Remus wiped at his eyes as he ran his fingers over the mirror, he looked up to realize that Tenebris had already flown away. Remus folded the letter, and walked over to his trunk and slid it into his box of letters and notes. And walked back over and held the mirror in his hands. The urge to call out to Sirius was too great. But he couldn't let Sirius see him with a tear stained face, no it'd wait till tomorrow. No matter how great the urge, he would hold off. He would not let himself ruin the feeling of being the most important man in the world. He would not let his mind ruin the happiness that he felt. The love that he felt that radiated off of such a precious gift. He couldn't remove the grin from his face as he curled underneath the covers, placing the mirror on the desk beside his bed.

"Happy Christmas guys" He whispered as he felt his eyes start to shut. As his eyes closed he could have sworn he heard Sirius' voice answer back, wishing him a very happy Christmas.


	18. A Dream

**This chapter takes place in line with Unforgotten; this is Sirius' side of the world. I figured it'd be cool to see exactly what Sirius was doing while Remus thinking on his end. Enjoy!**

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><p>Sirius opened the door to his flat, threw his keys into the bowl that sat on a shelf beside the door. Kicking his shoes off at the door he strolled inside, patting Tenebris as he strolled in. The owl opened his eyes and gave a sleepy call.<p>

"Evening buddy" Sirius walked into the kitchen a wide grin on his face. "I finally got it to work" Sirius chuckled, after grabbing a butterbeer from the fridge he walked out into the wide living room, and flopped down on the couch. Tenebris, used to the tradition of the Marauders flew over to the couch. When he only saw one package he gave a questioning squawk.

"Shhh, you only have to go one place tonight" he smiled. "But you have strict orders, only to come home when I call for you" The owl starred at him. "Oh don't give me that, you like Remus don't you" at the mention of the blonde headed boy the owl gave a happy chirp "That's my boy" he grinned. "And don't worry, the package won't be so big, since its also pretty heavy, even for my handsome eagle owl" Sirius cooed as he scratched the owl under his chin.

Sirius leaned over, the owl now perching on his leg as he too wanted to see if it would work.

"James" Sirius called into the brass mirror.

"What do you want" James muttered "Why did you need my mirror earlier" James asked.

"Because" Sirius picked up his mirror and grinned "I'm not on mine"

"You dog is that for Remus"

"I finally caved and asked Dad for his friend who makes mirrors"

"Remus is going to cry"

"I hope not" Sirius chuckled "I was making sure it linked with yours too"

"You didn't know if it linked to mine!"

"I did, but…I figured I'd show you it really worked"

James grinned ear to ear "Your present is going to kill mine"

"That might have been the plan"

"Bullocks"

Sirius chuckled "I'll talk to you later; I gotta send it his way"

"Your so cute" James chuckled "Gonna tell him you love him"

"That wasn't the pla-" Sirius froze, and starred at James wide eyed.

"Well…I didn't think it was going to be that simple"

"How long"

"Couple weeks"

"You're a dick…"

"Maybe you should keep your ass out of his bed"

"…And here I thought you slept all through the night"

"I usually do, but you fall over your trunk and you cuss very loudly" James beamed "No worries though mate, its cool with me"

"Glad you approve"

"Remus will too if you tell him"

"No thank you" Sirius chuckled "I'll keep it to myself"

"Your loss, look I gotta go mum and dad are calling"

"Yea" Sirius chuckled as James' face faded. He sighed; well at least James knew and didn't mind. He slid the mirror into the box and tied it with a piece of twine. He had learned over the years wrapping paper did not shrink or grow well, nor did ribbons when you tied them. So they had resulted into basic cardboard boxes and twine.

Sirius stroked the eagle owl as he started to write, his letter. Ten minutes into writing a loud scribble woke the now sleeping owl; he gave aggravated squeak as he nipped at Sirius' arm.

"Ow" Sirius glared at him. "I'm sorry my scribbling interrupted our nap" Sirius grumbled rubbing his arm. "Excuse me if I had to make noise" he snorted. The owl looked at him, demanding an explanation as to why his master had scribbled so hard.

"Well" Sirius looked at him "Because I wanted too" The owl unchanging in his gaze as he starred at his owner.

"Oh like you can really understand me" the owl's 'try me' expression made him sigh. "I let my writing get away from me" the owl's expression did not change "I wrote I love you ok" The owl seemed to accept this answer as he closed his eyes. "Bloody bird"

Within twenty minutes the letter was folded the package was shrunk and Tenebris was sent on his way. Sirius stood out on his patio watching the London sky. He hadn't planned on standing outside long, so his tee shirt wasn't providing much warmth. At least he had thought about putting shoes on before he walked out onto the snow covered patio. When the owl was finally out of sight he stepped back inside and waited.

He paced back and forth for thirty minutes, letting his mind wander. If Remus broke the mirror within receiving it both his and James' mirror would make a horrible racket, it would sound quite like someone had dropped an electric appliance into water.

He had long since called Remus' mirror, and now he could hear each second waiting for Remus to open the package. He hoped his poor owl got there before the boy went to bed.

When Remus' voice came from the mirror Sirius nearly tripped as he raced back to the couch. Not daring to peer into the glass, he had placed a charm on his own glass so that nothing could be seen on his end. But he was afraid his own joy that he could hear Remus' voice might just break the spell.

He could barley sit still as he waited patiently for Remus to open the box and he could see his handsome face. He felt like his whole body was on pins and needles as he waited. Every inch of his being felt like he was lit ablaze.

And the second Remus' face came into view he could hear his own heart sing. He realized just how much like a girl he made himself sound but at the moment he didn't give a damn. He watched with glee as Remus looked it over, the question written all over his face. How could he not tell what it was? Call for him already!

Sirius sighed as Remus looked back to the letter laying the mirror at his side. At least Sirius got a good look at his ceiling. He sat there for a while, starring at Remus' ceiling. Well at least now he knew what it was like to have a sleepless night in Remus' house. Unlike the ceiling in his flat or even back at number 12 he always had something on his ceiling to distract him. But Remus' bedroom ceiling was all flat, no texture or anything. Sirius almost fell asleep as he laid there starring at the ceiling, till he heard Remus pick up the mirror.

The bird knew Sirius was listening so when he clicked his tongue twice he was surprised Remus' didn't hear him. He could hear Tenebris leave and smiled. 'Good boy' he thought. He was leaving Remus no other way to contact him other than by mirror. Because he knew for a fact he would not send his own owl out on Christmas Eve.

He watched Remus' face as his fingers ran over the mirror's glass. Sirius retracted every impulse to reach out and let his own fingers run over the glass. And right as he got the urges under control Remus laid the mirror down and walked away, he could hear his trunk open and close. Sirius chuckled; he knew Remus would be putting the letter away, copying Sirius' own ideas of keeping every scrap of paper the Marauders ever wrote on. James teased them about being girls about it but it had never stopped the two.

When he sat back down Sirius really read his expression now that Remus' fingers weren't in the way he could see the big smile on his friends face, as well as a few tear trails. He'd made him cry, he felt a knot tie itself in his stomach. He hadn't meant to upset him.

He sighed sadly as he watched Remus place him onto the desk beside his bed. He knew Remus would not call him. Sirius felt tears prick his eyes, was Remus really going to keep hating him. At his rate death might be sooner rather than later with how bad he was dying to talk to Remus again.

"Happy Christmas guys" Remus' voice called.

Sirius swallowed; at this point he didn't care anymore. "Happy Christmas Remus" he whispered back, he didn't end the connection between the two mirrors until he heard Remus' soft and slow breathing signaling that he had fallen asleep.

When he looked up Tenebris was perched on the patio railing waiting for Sirius to let him inside. Sirius walked over opened the sliding glass door to let him in then closed it behind him. He wouldn't let his hurt show to the bird as he walked over and patted his head.

"Thank you Tene" he sighed "You get your present in the morning" he smiled and gave the owl a gentle kiss on the top of his head, Tenebris cooing at the affection. "Sweet dreams fella" he smiled. "I'll see you in the morning"

Sirius heading to his bedroom only to stop at the couch. He reached over and grabbed his wand and mirror and finished the walk to his bedroom.

He undressed and stood in front of the full length mirror that stood in the corner of his room. He looked himself over and sighed heavily. When he finally let himself sit on the edge of his bed he put his head in his hands.

What did he think? That Remus would shout for him? That he'd proclaim his own love for Sirius?

He'd been so foolish to really think Remus would even forgive him. He should be happy the boy had accepted his gift and had been smiling. But he couldn't help the part of him that had hoped and prayed for Remus to at least call for him and to thank him.

He wiped the tears that had leaked out of his eyes and laid down in his very empty king bed. He couldn't bring himself to look over at the empty part of the bed. It hurt too much, just that morning he had woken up from a dream, a dream that had kept a smile on his face all day.

It hadn't been anything sexual just a normal day, except of the simple fact Remus had been in it. And he had been his boyfriend. And as the dream had ended, he had woken up to warm Remus at his side.

Just the memory of the dream made tears slip between his eyes. The realization that, that would be all it ever would be. Hurt more than words could ever express.

What had caused him to wake up this morning and think that mirror would change the world? The fact that Sirius deep down always was so positive and that he always dreamed big. That probably had been what had caused it.

He reached over and turned out the lamp on the bedside table and plunged himself into darkness, hoping tonight he wouldn't dream. He didn't know if he could take another heartbreaking dream.


	19. Best Present Ever

**And here is the last update for tonight, this by far is my favorite chapter I have ever written. It also is the longest go figure XD. And can you guys beleive it, almost twenty chapters? It blows my mind. And you wanna know what its all thanks to you guys.**

**Also I'd like to thank Sweet Lily Potter, for hanging out with me tonight and just dealing with me being peeved at for not working, so Lils, this chapter is for you :D**

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><p>When Sirius knocked on the door of the Potter mansion he looked at the door for all of five seconds before he was grabbed by the wrist and drug inside.<p>

"You're fucking late"

"JAMES!" His mother shouted.

"I'm sorry but he's a bloody idiot and has to be late" James hissed as he drug his friend inside the house and now halfway through it. Sirius didn't even have a chance to say hello to James' parents as he was drug behind his friend before he was shoved into a closet.

"Stay here" James hissed "Don't come out till I open the door"

"James what are you-" he was cut off as the door shut. He blinked at the door as he was plunged into darkness, and soon he was being wrapped. "…fucking bastard" Sirius muttered before the paper wrapped itself around him and a bow was tied around his mouth. He was going to kill James when he got out of the closet.

James Potter ran a hand through his hair as he walked back out to the kitchen where his parents were starring at him.

"Oh…I didn't tell you what I got Remus for Christmas" he grinned. His mother starred at him as Harold Potter burst into uncontrollable laughter, completely getting the idea.

"James…where is Sirius"

Harold roared with another set of laughter "Jane, dearest" Harold breathed trying to compose himself.

"He's in a closet" James chuckled.

Jane looked at her son, before everything clicked.

"Not Sirius"

"Yep" Harold snorted "I knew so long ago"

"YOU DIDN"T TELL ME!" James cried

"Of course not, I told Orion though, it didn't surprise him"

"Of course it didn't surprise him" Jane huffed "Orion Black is lucky if either of his sons are straight" she muttered "Too damn handsome, the both of them. And kind. I swear it's the truth"

"What is it Jane dearest" Harold chuckled as he picked up the Daily Prophet he had tossed down as he watched his son drag his oldest friend into a closet.

"All the good ones are either gay or taken"

James choked on his juice as Harold choked on his drink of coffee.

"MOM" James cried.

"What does that make James?"

"Don't even jest Harold Potter, or I will make you wish you'd never been born" the glare that came from Jane practically sent the Prophet on fire.

"Oh I tease" Harold smiled "He's taken as any man can be, just his Lily flower doesn't know it yet"

James blushed "Thanks mom, last time I tell you anything" James hunched in his seat.

"She didn't have to tell me, you're as bad as I am with talking in my sleep" a page of the Prophet turned. James looked at the paper to his mother and she nodded. He sighed, why were all the good secrets told when one slept?

When the doorbell rang James sprung to his feet and dashed across the floor.

"And behind closet door number two" Harold snickered.

"Honestly Harold, stop it" Jane snatched the paper from her husband's head before whacking him over the head with it.

James threw open the door, nearly scaring Remus half to death. "REMUS" he cried as pulled the boy inside. "MOM DAD REMUS IS HERE"

"We heard" Jane sighed as she walked out into the foyer and smiled at Remus. "Hello Remus dear" she smiled.

Remus smiled, Jane Potter had red hair, not as dark as Lily's but it was the same red color. Her hazel eyes twinkled back at him, the same eyes that James had. He smiled as he slid his coat off of his shoulders. "Hello Mrs. Potter"

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Jane" she chuckled. "Would you like anything" she asked.

"No I'm quite alright, thank you" he smiled "Hello Mr. Potter" Remus smiled, looking back at Harold Potter who had joined his wife's side. Harold looked identical to James, except he looked a tad bit older. Harold's eyes were blue, and were hidden behind oval glasses.

"As my wife said, call me Harold, Remus. I've known you far to long to be called Mr. Potter anymore, it makes me feel old. Plus you're a young man now, and men call each other by their first names"

"Unless you're Slytherin" James chuckled "Then they must be proper and call you by your last name" James smiled as Harold chuckled, but his chuckle quickly ended as his wife glared at him.

Remus smiled as he followed the Potters into their large living room, he looked around. No matter how many times he had been in the Potter house he was never unamazed at the size of the house, the living room was a very homey space. Decorated in reds and golds. You could see very clearly just which Hogwarts house the entire Potter name came from.

"Have a seat" James chirped as he practically danced in place.

"What's a matter with you" Remus asked, eyebrow raised.

"Oh nothing" James grinned. Harold chuckled as he pulled his wife into his lap as he sat in one of the arm chairs. "You guys wanna go first" James motioned to his parents. Remus looked at them; normally his own parents joined him. But this time he had come alone since they had wanted some alone time. They'd be later, more in time for the Potter Gala they always held on Christmas day.

"If you wish" Harold chuckled, when he grabbed for his wand Jane stopped him, her eyes daring him to give away James' present, as quick as it had been grabbed it was put back. No one was scarier than Jane Potter when she meant business.

Remus smiled as he held out his hands, he smiled as he noticed the familiar shape of a book.

"Jane picked it out" Harold chuckled "She's always better at picking things out"

"That's because you prefer to shop for James and Sirius"

"That's because all I have to do is get them the newest pranking object or something Quidditch related and they are happy, you know books were never my thing"

Remus chuckled as he peeled off the paper; the Potters house was always his second home. He grinned wide as he realized just what book it was, it was another book written in Gaelic and he grinned up at Jane. "Thank you" he smiled.

"Your very welcome, I know how much you enjoy reading in Gaelic, so of course I saw that book and thought of you" she smiled.

As time went on presents were given out, and now all that remained was James, it felt odd not having Sirius around, and he always felt sad without him here. He hopped he wasn't alone; no one deserved to be alone during Christmas. He hoped at least his father had stopped by to see him since he wasn't here.

"Ready for my present" James leaped up from the couch.

"I've been wondering what it is" Remus chuckled "Seeing as I normally can pick yours out of a crowd I can't seem to find it so…yes I'd like to know what this large as life present is"

Harold snorted and cleared his throat to hide his laughter as Jane shot him another 'I dare you' look.

Remus looked at the two adults before shrugging.

"Well go open that door" James pointed at the closet at the right side of the room. Remus was very skeptical of opening that door. The last time he had done so was his fifth year for his birthday, and out had popped a large black dog. Which after Remus' panicked reaction soon found out it was Sirius. The marauders had promised never to do it again, but. As Remus stood up and walked over to the door he had hoped deep down in the corners of his heart, though he wouldn't admit it, that Sirius Black was again behind that door.

As the door opened he caught sight of large amount of red paper.

"JAMES HAROLD" he heard Jane call out to her son. Apparently he had misbehaved. And as the door opened more he realized just what was going on.

"James…I don't have to worry about this becoming very odd with your parents in the room" he asked. All the sudden remembering the joke that James had bought him his own sex toy.

James howled with laughter and soon Remus could even hear Harold howling with the same laughter. Remus felt heat race up the back of his neck as he sighed.

The form that now stood in front of him wiggle in the paper, and Remus realized that the hands of whoever was inside are bound.

"Come on Rem, untie the ribbon" James wheezed as he held back laughter.

Remus felt his hands start to sweat as he slowly undid the ribbon that bound the wrapped human before he started to untie the ribbon that was wrapped around the person's head.

He didn't get time to react as he heard ripping and soon was meet with warm lips against his own. He didn't even hear the gasp of Jane Potter as his eyes fluttered closed. Sirius.

His mind and body melted into a puddle of mush as he felt his friend pull away.

"Thank Merlin for you Remus Lupin" Sirius Black's voice rang out. "Now get me out of this bloody paper before I-" he stopped as he realized Jane and Harold Potter were starring at them. "Oh, hello Jane and Harold, do you know your son is a dumb ass" he hissed.

"I think he's damn smart" Harold chuckled winking at his son. James beamed with pride.

"Apparently he wanted…" Jane stopped herself not letting her stoop down to her son's level, she was not about to pick on the two boys. "I'll help you"

"No I got it" Remus chuckled "I am responsible for this; I am sure so I can easily get him out of it"

"Out of what" Harold snickered before receiving a whack on his head. "Ow"

Remus couldn't stop blushing as he started to unwrap Sirius; his scent exploded as the paper was pulled away, having to keep that much held in. How long had he even been hidden in there?

Once he was free Sirius went to storm over to James before Remus caught his shirt tail. "Calm down" Remus sighed. "I have a Christmas present for you"

Sirius rounded, the word present caught his attention. Neither boy had noticed three pairs of eyes that watched in the wings.

"Well…what is it" Sirius asked, looking at Remus confused.

Remus felt odd, he'd defiantly just lost his nerve to forgive Sirius, had it been the look in the boy's eye? No it had been the kiss; his lips still tingled from it. He'd spent all morning trying to rehearse the speech he planned on giving. But now starring into those thunder cloud eyes, he had lost all of his nerve.

"I forgive you" he said simply, forgetting everything else he had planned to say "for everything, and I'm sorry I was such an ass for not doing it sooner" he looked into those grey eyes, and felt like the whole world around them disappeared. He smiled.

Sirius couldn't stop the racing of his heart, before it stopped itself. He was almost afraid he had heard him wrong, was he forgiven? Sirius swallowed, he let himself read the wolf's eyes. Before his heart allowed itself to hammer inside its chest. He didn't stop himself as he threw himself forward and threw his arms around Remus holding him tight against him, not daring to let go. Tears pricking his eyes. Remus forgave him; it had been all he wanted. He realized he had never wanted anything more.

Remus smiled as he hugged his friend back and didn't let go. He could feel his whole body give a heavy sigh as he let himself enjoy Sirius' warmth as it wrapped around him. This was what love felt like. He realized exactly what his mind had whispered to him. But at the moment he didn't care, he wouldn't fight it because, this, is where he wanted to stay.

When the two pulled away Sirius turned and faced James.

"Ya know what Prongs, whatever you got me, it can't beat that" he pointed to Remus.

The Potter clan chuckled.

"Course not Padfoot" James smiled. James finally felt the guilt from Halloween melt away; he knew one day he'd have to come clean about the trap he had laid that fateful night. But right now with his two best friends grinning like idiots, and knowing deep down Sirius was still bubbling over from the kiss he'd snagged when Remus had unwrapped him, he couldn't have been happier.

"Well" Jane chuckled "Come sit down Sirius, we still have presents to hand out" she smiled, no one said anything as Sirius reached over grabbed Remus' hand and drug him to the couch to sit beside him as the presents were handed out.


	20. Desire

**Here we are guys, the big chapter 20...when I started this fanfic I never imagined it'd be longer than ten chapters, and now I am up to twenty and still going strong. I just would like to thank you guys so much for reading this so far, and sticking with me. You guys have no idea how much all of your reviews, story alerts and story favorites have meant to me. I've never had anything I've done so liked. So...thank you guys it means a whole bunch to me. I really hope you enjoy this chapter (esspically towards the end ;))**

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><p>It was close to seven at night when James drug his friends off to his bedroom, to prepare for the Gala that was soon to start.<p>

"So what should I wear" James grumbled as he sorted through his closet.

"What does it matter, everyone who will be here will know you" Sirius grumbled as he looked at a set of dress robes he always kept at the Potter house. He sighed "I swear I hate these things, if I ever get rich I will never throw dress parties"

"Yes you will" Remus chuckled "Just to see the ladies dress up"

"Ahh yes I guess you are right Messer Moony, that is always a plus" Sirius chuckled though inside he was more thinking about what a certain blonde would look like in his own dress robes.

"Wait" Remus looked at James who was now shifting between two sets of dress robes "You're actually serious about this…whose coming"

James looked at Remus before grinning a very wide grin "Oh…no one special"

"Who's coming" Sirius asked slinging his arm around Remus' shoulder as he looked at his friend as James slid the first set of robes back on the rack and pulled his shirt over his head.

"No one, you'll see later"

"Ugh, girl" Sirius muttered "Come on Moony lets get dressed" Sirius sighed.

The three boys dressed in almost completely silence other than the mutterings of something not fitting or a jest at the other for looking ridiculous.

Once they were all dressed the three boys looked at one another. James' robes were black, as well as matching slacks. His white button up shirt was hidden by a black vest, and his red bow tie, gave the rather dark outfit a pop of color. As hard as he had tired he still couldn't manage his hair, and with a sigh of defeat he'd given up.

Sirius' dress robes were a grey color, a little lighter than his eyes. His cream colored button up shirt also was hidden by a slate grey vest, as well as matching slacks. With a black bowtie to finish off the look. "What do you think Rem" Sirius smiled.

Remus couldn't keep his eyes off of the man; he practically ate him up, his eyes hungry. He had watched the boy slowly get dressed. It was almost so slow it was intentional, not only with the memory of the kiss downstairs but now; his body ached from head to toe just to grab him and rip his robes off and devour him.

"Huh" Remus blinked grumbling as he yanked his bowtie off "I hate these fucking things" he finally hissed "And you look good Padfoot" he muttered. Not only did bow ties always give Remus trouble to begin with but his mind was full of unneeded thoughts of his best friend and being on top of him.

Sirius looked at the flustered werewolf and gave James a silent nod to go on without them that they'd catch up. James had winked at him as he left, causing the eldest Black to roll his eyes.

"Come here Remus" Sirius sighed "let me fix it" he smiled as Remus picked up the navy blue bow tie of the floor and walked to him. Remus' robes were a slate blue, along with slacks and a vest to match. His crisp white button up shirt hidden under his vest. It almost caused Sirius to drool a river as the man walked. God how he wanted his hands all over him.

Remus stood in front of Sirius holding his head up so the older boy could fix his tie.

"Hey Sirius"

"Hmm"

"Why did you kiss me earlier?"

Sirius froze, for a second he felt like ice had been poured down his whole body. Had Remus just thought about it and thought that he'd taken advantage of him? What did one say; he didn't want him to be angry with him.

Almost like he sensed Sirius' fear the wolf ruffled Sirius' hair "I'm not mad" he chuckled "Just curious" Remus wouldn't say that he was fishing for a reason, no because that would mean he wanted him to say because Sirius wanted to kiss him, and that wasn't what he wanted no not at all.

"Well" Sirius sighed "I guess whoever came to save me deserved a kiss or is that not how all damsel's in distress work"

"So I was your knight in shining armor"

"Aren't you normally"

The two boys grinned at another and Remus felt Sirius' hands leave around his neck "There, all tied up"

"Thank you"

"Welcome"

The two lingered in the room for a moment

"Rem-"

"Sir-"

The two boys spoke at the same time and chuckled. "You first Sirius" Remus smiled as he sat down in one of the air chairs in James' room. Sirius stood behind the chair leaning against the head rest.

"I wanted to apologize"

"For what"

"For Halloween" Sirius sighed "I…I shouldn't have done what I did"

"Sirius" Remus sighed. "I forgave you"

"But I want to explain" Did Sirius really want to talk about this right now, couldn't he let himself enjoy Remus' friendship before he came clean?

"What's to explain, we were drunk and well…we sort of just" Remus sighed, how could he explain exactly what happened on his side of the events if he didn't want to spill his guts?

"See…that's the problem" Sirius whispered, he stood in front of Remus now, looking at his golden eyes. He begged himself not to lose his courage, besides isn't that what it took to be a Gryffindor? Remus was looking at him, his confused glance made Sirius nearly lose his nerve.

"See I" Sirius started before sighing looking at the floor, he had no idea where to start.

"Start from the beginning Sirius" Remus chuckled, almost knowing exactly what was wrong.

"I just…I don't know if I'm ready to tell you" Sirius sighed. Oh like that wasn't going to give it away!

"Tell me what" Remus leaned forward and chuckled "Are you now a vampire"

Sirius snorted and advanced on the wolf making Remus lean back "And if I was" Sirius purred, his grey eyes starring into Remus' gold.

"Um…I'd make sure you…" Remus couldn't breathe, Sirius was so close. He could feel his breath against his own lips. That didn't help the surge of blood that dipped between his waist. If only Sirius knew how hard it was to not lean forward and snog his brains out.

"Make me what" Sirius whispered, he hadn't realized he now had a leg slid in-between Remus' which were spread out almost inviting the boy in. "What would you make me do Remus Lupin" the blood was racing through Sirius' veins as his heart pounded, he could feel it all flooding the southern portion of his body practically making him ache.

"Make you" Remus started, he hadn't noticed his hands were now holding Sirius' vest in his hands. His wolf like eyes starring into to the sliver eyes he loved so much. Honestly the grey of Sirius' eyes should have been a warning to the wolf that he was dangerous, that he'd get burned in the end. But right now he didn't honestly care. "I'd make you…" Sirius dipped his head their noses touching.

"Remus" Sirius breathed

"Sirius" came Remus' shaky reply. He wondered if Sirius could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

"Ki-"

The two boys jerked far apart as the door was flung open.

"Come on mates" James cheered "There is…" he stopped, before grinning "someone I want you to meet" James smirked as he pretended not to notice the two blushing and that he had not seen them in the position they had been. He had cracked the door and was watching them, but he just couldn't let them get all hot and bothered when a party was going on downstairs.

Remus cleared his throat before leaping out of the chair "Yes let's see who this mysterious guest is" Remus sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked across the room, trying to stop his head from spinning.

"I'll be down in a minute, I have last minute touches to finish" Sirius chuckled he was looking out the window, doing his best to think his hard on away.

"Just don't make a mess" James chuckled as he slipped from the door.

Sirius Black was never a man to blush, but there was no denying the scarlet that coved his face would make the Gryffindor banner jealous. He had never once touched himself at the thought of Remus, though it had been tempting.

Sirius slid into James' master bath, promising himself that he'd make it up to James and slid his pants down, the second his hand reached for his aching loins images of Remus flooded his mind. And he was lost to passion and desire.


	21. Just a Feeling

**A little bit of Reg and Orion here…I had to sneak them in I just love those two so much! If this one seems a bit rushed I'm really sorry guys! This chapter orignally was MUCH longer but it was so sloppy I edited it down...and I don't know if it has the same flow.**

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><p>James and Remus waited about twenty minutes before Sirius emerged from James' room. Remus looked at the man, why did he seem like he was glowing? And why on earth was James chuckling.<p>

"Have a fun time"

"Shut up" Sirius growled before smiling at Remus. "So where this is…why does that look like Lily Evans" Sirius's attention had been captured by a redhead that was starring at them.

"Because it is" Lily smiled. She walked forward, she was wearing an emerald green dress and her hair was tied back though still free flowing in loose curls. James couldn't hide the grin on his face if he tried.

"James told me you two were taking a while" Lily smirked looking between the two boys "So we've been talking while you were gone. Eventually James got uncomfortable."

"I DID NOT!"

Lily giggled and linked her arm around James' making both Remus and Sirius stare wide eyed.

"I lost a bet" Lily sighed, "That's the only reason"

"So you say sweetheart"

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled none the less. "Oh" James looked at Sirius "Your father is here" he watched his friends eyes light up. "And he might have a surprise for you" James motioned over to where you could in fact see Orion Black talking with someone.

"Come on Rem," Sirius grabbed his friends arm, and drug him behind him. Remus chuckled.

"Can I say hello to my own parents first" Remus chuckled seeing his parents talking to another couple.

"Well fine then" Sirius pouted "leave me"

"Oh I'll be back later darling" Remus winked and walked off, unknowing to him that just the simple wink made Sirius' heart flutter.

"So" a voice hit his ear like a loud bell "Dad wasn't kidding" Sirius whirled on his heels. Never in all of Regulus Black's life had he came to the Potter's. And here he was in his own dress robes.

"REG?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Dad dragged me, claiming I needed to get out of the house. Besides mother wasn't home she's out somewhere so…he dragged me behind him" Regulus sighed. "Honestly I don't know why I'm here. I don't fit in at all, since well" his brother sighed "You know"

"Eh no one needs to know that" Sirius slung his arm around his younger brother, whom he could tell was obviously uncomfortable. "Here you are the brother of Sirius Black and son of only Orion Black" he smiled. "Dad's come for years and no one has killed him yet, so I think you're safe"

"Thanks" Regulus muttered "I feel oh so much better now"

"You used to tell me the same thing when we went to the other side of the pureblood lifestyle"

"Because then it was true"

"Yes…I was Regulus Black's older crazier brother" Sirius grinned as the two walked over to their father.

"I saw Andromeda; I didn't know she had a kid"

"Unfortunately there is a lot about some of our family you aren't told" Sirius sighed "They all are just filthy blood traitors" Sirius mocked his mother's nails on a chalkboard like voice.

Sirius grinned as his brother tired to hide a laugh. When Regulus was alone with his brother despite everything they were still brothers. No one was going to change that, and even if Regulus had sided with the dark side, he was still Sirius' brother and hence still under his protection. He'd fight anyone even if it was James himself if they were come after his baby brother.

"Oh look it them" Orion chuckled "My two boys, who without my wife's presence are actually brothers"

"We are brothers when her back is turned" Regulus chuckled.

"Sadly that's how it has to be" Orion sighed "If only Sirius had just stuck around" Orion chuckled, ruffling his oldest son's hair. "So where have you been hiding, since we can't stay too long your old bat of a mother will want her darling Regulus home soon"

"I've been getting dressed" Sirius chuckled, with his father and brother rolling their eyes he chuckled "You know how I am"

"Yes sadly we know you take years to get ready" Regulus teased shoving his brother. The two shoved each other back and forth grinning ear to ear. This was how a family was meant to spend Christmas. Sirius stood for a while and enjoyed the company of his brother and father for a while before Orion had glanced at his watch and gave a sad sigh and said it was time for him and his youngest son to excuse themselves before Walburga Black had his head on a sliver platter, promising Sirius he would come to see him before he went back to school.

Once they had left Sirius' sight the boy turned heel and searched for the marauders mingling here and there as people stopped him and spoke to him. Most of the people around knew Sirius from birth, though some of them seemed surprised to hear Sirius had been disinherited and had left the Black family name behind. Eventually when he snuck out of the crowd he found Remus who was out in the middle of the dance floor laughing as a five year old Nymphadora Tonks stood on his shoes to dance. Inside Sirius' gut knotted into several tight knots.

"What's wrong with you sour puss" James chuckled a glass of punch in his hand "You can't honestly be jealous of your cousin"

"Don't you see them out there?"

"Sirius…she's five"

"But…I got a feeling!"

"Sirius how are you at divinations"

"Horrible"

"And what are worried about. BESIDES she's twelve years younger than us, why on earth would Remus end up with her?"

"True" Sirius sighed.

"And if you want to dance with him" James chuckled "All you have to do is cut in" the glare Sirius gave him made him chuckle.

"Come on now, that'd be weird and he just forgave me"

"And, there is nothing wrong with dancing together, you did it at Halloween" James sighed "Oh come on the dancing had not been what caused you and Remus to play with one another that night"

Sirius snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't be that way" Lily giggled as she stepped in line right beside Sirius "Aren't they cute" she giggled. "He looks so happy"

Sirius started to count down, he knew Lily was pressing his buttons but it wasn't going to work. Or so he thought until he realized he had crossed the dance floor and was standing beside Remus. He had missed Lily send a wink James' way as he had started to walk away.

"Siri" Tonks called, her bright pink hair was long down the middle of her back, she was wearing a flowery dress and Sirius picked her up.

"Hello dearest Dora" Sirius cooed nuzzling her neck "Where you having fun" he smiled as the girl kissed his cheek.

"Yes"

"Remus is a good dancer"

"Mmhmm" the girl giggled, she loved Sirius. Sirius had snuck out of the house the night she had been born and had been attached to the young girl ever since then.

"Well do you I care if I steal your dance partner" he asked the young girl who looked at Sirius then to Remus, who's face was full of questions.

"Nope, just can I dance with you later" she asked as Sirius put her down then held out his pinky.

"Pinky promise" he grinned as the girl wrapped her small pinky around his much larger one. He grinned after her as she dashed off to her mother. Andromeda was watching in the wings, and smiled at Sirius.

"You are adorable" Remus chuckled, "You'll make a fantastic father one day"

"Eh, one only knows" Sirius smiled. He grabbed Remus' sleeve as the boy went to walk away. "Hey, I just asked my little cousin to give up her dancing partner, which means you"

"Sirius…" Remus sighed "I thought you were kidding"

"You don't kid with little Dora, girl will hex you with a terrible butch cut if your not careful"

Remus raised his eyebrow as Sirius held out his hand as the music picked up "May I"

Remus looked over at James and Lily, who had slipped into the crowd and were dancing as well. Remus chuckled and took his friends hand, everyone here knew the marauders were crazy and on many occasions James and Sirius had had danced together. So why did the thought of dancing with Sirius make Remus Lupin nervous?

Maybe it was the fact the two were close together, or maybe it was that he could smell the boys shampoo, his cologne and his after shave, all of those scents clashing in his nose practically drowning him in the sexiest smell one could imagine, and only being even better with the smell of natural Sirius underneath it all.

Sirius smiled at the closeness of the two, and enjoyed all of the smells that poured from Remus' body. It was the many smells of him that Sirius always got himself lost in. He felt himself sway just like his body had been taught when he was much too young to really learn about dancing and its own enchanting qualities it possessed.

Eventually after a few dances Remus slid away, claiming he was hungry and told him he might want to steal a dance with his cousin before his hair turned into a choppy mess. Sirius quickly took him up on that offer and went to find his cousin.

Remus walked over to the punch bowl and starred into the red liquid, almost afraid to even dip the ladle into it.

"Its ok Remus, this one isn't spiked" James whispered from beside him, making the wolf leap.

"James dammit you scared me, wait what did you say"

"This is a confession"

"What are you…what did you do" Remus pressed a finger into James' chest.

"Um…Halloween's fiasco is mostly my fault"

Remus felt like he'd been slapped by McGonagall he starred at him for a good few minutes "Excuse me"

"Um…"

"What James is trying to say" Lily chuckled "Is he wanted to try and give you and Sirius a good push in the right direction by slipping something into the punch bowl to loosen you up, and you and Sirius could let your feelings out" Lily sighed as James mouthed a thank you as he hid behind her "But what he didn't realize is maybe that might not be a good idea"

Remus glared over Lily's shoulder "So I was mad at Sirius for over a month because you tried to get me and Sirius together" the glare faded as Remus started to laugh "James…I love you but come on mate" he snorted "Prongs really, Padfoot and I" he laughed harder. "That's a funny joke! He'd never date me he likes GIRLS remember?"

James and Lily looked at one another and shrugged, they'd figure it out eventually. The small group turned and watched Sirius dance toe to toe with his small cousin.

Lily glanced over and nudged James' and the two looked over and Remus, who was smiling the only way someone smiled at a person they loved more than life itself. James looked back at Lily and smiled, somehow they would get the two together.


	22. At the Gala's Close

**Wrapping up the Gala, and I'm really sorry these last few chapters seem to drone one...I keep trying to put off things my muse wants to write *sighs* this is why one always listens to ones muse XD. Next chapter is better I PROMISE!**

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><p>It was well after three in the morning, on the twenty sixth of December. When the marauders finally decided to go to bed. The party had long since died down and only a few people remained. It was a loud but slow ascend to the second floor.<p>

Lily had ended up staying the night, and after getting a little tipsy leaned on James all night. Of course the marauders were made of much stronger stuff so they merely had a small buzz. So James constantly was grinning ear to ear with the constant affection from a certain Miss. Evans. Sirius was very sure that when James shut the door to his own bedroom after taking Lily to her guest bedroom the boy would play the memories over and over again.

"Come on Rem" Sirius held out his hand almost daring the wolf to reject his hand. Remus rolled his eyes but humored his friend as he took it, Sirius lacing his fingers between his. "Don't wanna get lost" he chuckled. Remus had long since stopped fighting Sirius and his awkward behaviors, though most of the times he declined he would sometimes amuse him and accept him. Is that how he fell in love with him?

It had been so many years, so many hidden feelings Remus hadn't even started to figure it out. Though now looking at the smile on his best friend's face he might want to start figuring it out. So he could sort them out and throw them out, so he no longer caused awkwardness in their friendship. He couldn't take another month long fight with Sirius.

"Did you like your present" Sirius asked, smiling as he pushed open the guest bedroom. Sirius was not about to let the wolf out of his sight so he simply picked a room that he knew had two beds.

"Yes" Remus beamed as his hand slid from Sirius' grip, causing the dark haired boy to frown. "I nearly fell over when I saw it. I thought you were just jesting with me" Remus smiled walking over to his bag as he pulled the mirror out. A secret smile slipping over Sirius' lips, a smile Remus could not understand.

"I am a cruel man but I would never jest with something like that" Sirius chuckled. He walked over to his bed. The Potters had always held rooms for both boys to come and stay when they all stayed, though normally they all packed into James' king bed and camped out. This time they had let James enjoy the memories of the night and had come and hidden in one of the spare rooms. "Besides, I felt I owed you something extra nice since…" Sirius trailed off.

"Its right up there with the record player" Remus smiled as he undid his bowtie and slid out of his shoes. When he looked back at Sirius he was facing his back. And Remus felt the tie slip between his fingers and fall to the floor as he starred at his back, Remus let his eyes run down the mans spine and hadn't realized he had reached out. He didn't realize his fingers were running down Sirius' spine till the boy gave a soft groan, and only then did Remus realize his fantasy in his head had become a reality. Though sadly he couldn't remember the way the boy felt under his fingers.

"Who the hell said you could stop" Sirius shivered, biting his lip.

"Er…" Remus walked forward and gulped "What do you want"

"Do whatever you did" Sirius breathed, Remus couldn't see the whites of Sirius' knuckles as they were dug into the covers of the bed.

"You mean this" Remus reached up and ran his fingers down Sirius' spine, and bit back a groan as Sirius shivered under his fingers and bit down even harder as Sirius groaned.

"Mmm Remus" Sirius breathed. "Your hands are so damn warm"

Remus' heart was pounding a mile a minute. Was he really going to do this again? Start something that he knew right now would throw them back into another fight.

It was all Sirius could do to not turn around and pull Remus against him. "Don't stop" he finally whispered, "It's my turn for a massage don't you think"

Remus felt his blood run cold, he couldn't let his hands stay on the boy's soft tanned skin, it would drive him insane.

"I'm dodgy at it" Remus whispered, had be been aware his voice was trembling he simply would have backed away.

"Be that way then" Sirius grumbled as he straightened up and walked over to his bag, pulling out a pair of pj bottoms. The marauders except for Peter now only wore pj bottoms, all three of them growing out of sleeping with a shirt, except in the winter time when it was cold. But at the Potter house it was never cold. Remus had long since gotten over his scars, when in fifth year Sirius had said they were sexy, they reminded him of battle wounds. Which Remus had figured was funny because transforming every full moon was always a battle.

"Oh don't be that way" Remus grumbled "You know I suck at it"

"I wish you'd suck me" Sirius grumbled underneath his breath.

"What was that" Remus asked, not hearing exactly what Sirius had said.

Sirius panicked, he prayed to anyone who could hear that Remus really hadn't heard him "I said I doubted you sucked." Sirius chuckled to himself agreeing with himself he honestly did doubt Remus sucked, anything for that matter.

'Yea well maybe one day I might give you a taste"

Remus wasn't paying attention as Sirius shivered. The two boys followed the rest of their nightly rituals in silence until they both were curled up in bed. Sirius was the last to crawl into bed and smiled over at Remus as the boy was already stuck into a book.

"Bedtime Remy" Sirius chuckled.

"Hey Sirius" Remus looked at him as he closed his book.

"Hmm"

"Do you care if I follow you home tomorrow, I mean…I feel we haven't hung out just us in a long time, and especially after me getting over my issue I think we should"

Sirius had frozen mid turn, and looked back at Remus who was starring at him "I'd like that" Sirius grinned, "I really would"

"It's settled then" Remus placed his book on the side table and turned over, his back facing Sirius "Night Padfoot" he couldn't contain the grin that slipped on his lips.

"Goodnight Moony" Sirius grinned as he flicked off the light and turned his back to Remus. The two of them slipped off to dream land, two huge grins on their faces.


	23. A Choking Secret

**Comments at the bottom ;) Just read first.**

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><p>After breakfast with the Potter's and Lily. Sirius and Remus apparated into the small flat that Sirius Black called home. Remus had only been here once, when they all had thrown a house warming party for Sirius. Of course it had all been a surprise so when he had come home after another day of summer work he couldn't have been happier to see his friends already crashed into his house and throwing him a party.<p>

Sirius smiled at Remus as he dropped his bag on the ground, Remus followed suit and looked around the apartment. It was very Sirius. The living room walls were painted a scarlet color; dark woods were all over the room. And a black L shaped couch was smack dab in the middle with a small TV in front of it. A large glass coffee table sat in front of the couch. Pictures lined the walls, causing Remus to chuckle.

"Make yourself at home" Sirius chuckled from the kitchen. Remus looked around the flat; it was a single bedroom flat. The kitchen wasn't very large. And there was a small nook a little ways to the right of the door for a dining table, which as Remus looked was littered with odds and ends. The living room seemed to be the only straight as he could see into the robin's egg colored bedroom, which also from what he could see was decorated with dark colored wood pieces. Remus ate up every detail.

"It's a nice place you have" Remus smiled, the house hadn't been nearly this decorated last time he'd stepped foot into the small flat.

"You remember where everything is right" Sirius asked as he flipped through the mail that he had left unattended.

"How on earth did you get your mail" Remus asked stroking Tenebris' head as he noticed the owl was in fact looking right at him.

"Hmm? Oh Molly, from across the hall gets it for me."

"Isn't this a muggle flat?"

"It is, but she's a muggleborn"

"Ah"

"Mmhmm, she sends it by her owl when I'm at school, and when I'm here and if I leave she gathers it for me that way"

"How does she get in?"

"Spare key" Sirius threw what was garbage in the trash and started to open a letter. Remus felt his skin crawl; a girl had his spare key. He had given a woman his spare key instead of one of the marauders. He scoffed, of course he did, he'd bet twenty galleons on it right now.

"Moony, I haven't slept with her calm down"

Good thing Remus Lupin was not a betting man, he sighed and pulled his hand away from the black owl and walked over to the couch and flopped down.

"Bored already"

"No" Remus rubbed his temple; maybe this was a bad idea.

"Then what's a matter Moon" Sirius put his letters down and walked over leaning against the couch. He smiled as he looked down at Remus, whose eyes were closed and his arm was slung over his face. Sirius let his eyes wander as well as take a mental photo of the way Remus was laying on his couch, not daring himself to let the handsome image slip from his mind.

"Just…I don't know" Remus sighed. He was surrounded by everything Sirius, and it was killing him. One did not follow someone they liked home without wanting to pounce on them.

"Well" Sirius hopped over the couch, causing Remus to jump a little and look up at him from under his arm. Sirius rested his arm on Remus' knees and smiled at him "it's early in the day we could always go out somewhere"

"Where would we go?"

Sirius shrugged "no earthly idea, but then again. Isn't that the fun of life, not the destination but the journey" Remus raised an eyebrow, a very deep thought for Sirius. "At least I believe that's what a young Remus Lupin told me once upon a time" he chuckled. Remus beamed with pride as he sat up.

"I think I did tell you that, what five years ago"

"I believe so" Sirius leaned his head on Remus' shoulder. Remus smiled and let his arm fall on his friend's shoulder, the two of them just sitting there. Back on the same ground, the same friendship they had been in a month ago. Though neither of them knew that friendship almost wasn't enough anymore.

Sirius had started to fall asleep as Remus ended up lost in thought and was running his fingers through his hair. "Remy" Sirius mumbled as he snuggled closed to Remus.

"Hmm"

"What did you really see in the Mirror of Erised" he looked up at Remus as the boy looked down, he tried his best to read the boys eyes. Sirius felt his palms sweat, he wanted to come clean. It was killing him to hide this from Remus; he just prayed the boy didn't hate him. His words so long ago rang in his ears like a painful bell.

"What I told you"

"Promise"

Remus felt his throat tighten, he had to lie, there was no way Sirius would accept it. But how could he lie to those eyes that pleaded for the truth? "Sirius…I"

"You know you can tell me anything" Sirius smiled "I won't judge"

"I know you won't" Remus sighed "That might be half the problem" he stood up pulling away from Sirius. "The problem is I might want you to judge." More like tell me you feel the same. Remus leaned against the sliding glass window and looked out. Trying to clear his thoughts.

"You saw someone in the mirror instead of what you told me didn't you"

"Yes" Remus felt himself bite down on his knuckle, trying to stop himself from spilling all of his guts.

"I saw someone too" Remus turned to face Sirius, he was now standing.

"You told me, you saw your family all together"

"I lied"

"W-why"

"Because I…" Sirius stopped, he couldn't say it.

"Because you what"

"Am afraid you'll hate me"

Remus felt a jolt of hope rage through him, almost setting his whole being, being set ablaze. But just as quickly as it was set ablaze he put the flames out as he told himself that what he hoped he meant was only in his dreams.

"Why would I hate you" Remus finally asked, reaching out for Sirius "Tell me what you could say that would make me hate you. When you found out I was a werewolf and you and James instead of running clung even closer, for all you all have done for me, what on this earth could make me hate you"

"Ihaveacrushonyou"

"What" Remus starred at him. Not believing what he thought he had heard "Speak slower"

"Dammit Remus" Sirius growled "its not funny"

"I never said it was, I didn't understand you"

"I said I have a crush on you" Sirius looked down at his feet. Remus felt his heart practically explode. He just starred unable to even think as to what to response to.

He hadn't realized Sirius had now looked at him, looking for him to reply. He hadn't realized how many minutes passed by.

"S-Sirius I…" Remus stopped.

"Don't say it" Sirius covered his mouth "Don't…I know its weird, and you probably think I'm disgusting but I can't hide it anymore" Sirius searched his eyes "Dammit I can't keep this secret anymore that chokes me constantly"

Remus didn't pull his hand from his mouth; it was keeping from him telling him that he felt the same. And Remus was not ready to do that yet. No not when he wasn't even sure if he really did love Sirius the way he thought.

"I think I'm Bi" Sirius finally sighed, letting his hand drop "Then again, you're the only guy I've really ever liked…I know its weird, don't look at me like that" Remus starred at him.

Before his whole being erupted in laughter.

Sirius just starred at him, almost unbelieving as Remus stood there laughing at him.

"You're kidding right"

When no response came Remus looked at Sirius, whose head was hung so low it looked rather uncomfortable.

"Oh shit…Sirius I didn't mean it that way"

"Its ok…as long as you don't hate me I guess its ok"

"No…I mean" Remus rubbed his forehead "fuck my life" he sighed as he collapsed on the couch "When you kissed me on Halloween…"

"I had a crush on you then"

Remus felt the memories flood him back, and reread everything he'd played over. How had he missed it? How had he missed everything that pointed to it? Simply because he hadn't been looking for it.

"So…when you kissed me" Remus looked at him, trying to hide the fact his hands were shaking.

"I meant it" Sirius whispered.

"When we danced last night"

"Best time of my life"

Remus felt blush creep on his cheeks as his heart swelled.

"I know its fucking stupid" Sirius sat down beside him "And I doubt you'd want me to lean on you" he sighed heavily "But…I couldn't keep it in anymore, I figured I mine as well come clean."

"Is that what you tried to tell me yesterday before we went to the party?"

"Yes" Sirius gave him a smile. At least Remus hadn't screamed at him. He was asking questions, almost making this easy.

"It's cool" Remus chuckled "It actually makes me feel a little flattered" he looked at Sirius "I mean…that doesn't mean that…" he didn't finish, he wasn't going to lie to Sirius. Nor could he take the hurt he could already see forming in those thundercloud eyes.

"I'll take it" Sirius rose to his feet "You'll sleep on the couch then."

Remus hadn't even though about it, and apparently Sirius hadn't either.

"Sirius, I have slept in the same bed as you for years now, why would you all the sudden claiming you had a crush on me make that any different, I trust you. Your not a dick, like everyone paints you to be" Remus smiled. He could see the tears in Sirius' eyes and he thought he had said something wrong before he felt Sirius wrap his arms around him and not let go.

"Thank you" was all he said; Remus felt tears prick his own eyes. Why couldn't he come clean? "Just…thank you Moony" he whispered again before his head was hidden in Remus' shoulder and Remus could feel warm wet patches form on his shoulder. He rubbed Sirius' back as the boy kneeled in front of him clinging to him for dear life.

Remus felt his own tears stream down his face he rested his face in Sirius' hair as he let them slid between his eyes, knowing the other boy couldn't feel them. IF only he could be as brave, if only he could trust Hogwarts' most well known heart breaker, with the same secret that Sirius had just trusted him with.

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><p><strong>Well…now I have entered the next process to this story. Remus now knows how Sirius feels BUT now he has to get over his own fears of being his next flavor. I had originally planned for this to happen much later in the school year, but both the story and my muse demanded other things. SO….more wolfie drama is to come :D hopefully you enjoyed this :D<strong>


	24. Tainted

**CHAPTER IS RATED M! BOY/BOY BEWARE! Turn away if you don't want to read it, seriously…this is my warning. This is my treat to all you faithful readers :D. Enjoy!**

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><p>Sirius walked in from the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, Remus was sitting on his bed legs crossed at his ankle lost in his book. Or at least that's how he seemed to be. Why Sirius had left the blonde alone to imagine just what was going on in the room right off of the bedroom. Imaging the water running down his toned boy.<p>

Remus shivered at the thought. Licking his lips he flipped the page, he hadn't read anything on the last four pages he had flipped, he'd have to remember where he was later, when his mind actually was focused on the words in front of him. Instead of the man that now was bent over in his drawers in only a towel.

"Why are you even worried about putting clothes on?"

When those words Sirius stood bolt upright and turned and starred at the blonde, blinking.

"E-excuse me"

"You told me earlier" Remus closed his book and put it on the bedside table, and crawled across the bed toward his companion "That you had a crush on me" he licked his lips as he knotted his hand in the towel and pulled a very wide eyed Sirius towards him "Well, instead of just telling you how I really feel about that I figured I'd show you" he purred, pulling the boy against the footboard.

Sirius looked like Remus had spouted two heads, his eyes wide as Remus stood up on his knees and planted his mouth on Sirius' who stood in shock, hands glued to his side. But Remus would have none of that; he licked Sirius' bottom lip asking nicely for entrance, if Sirius didn't give it to him he'd merely take it by force.

The wolf inside of him giving him enough courage inside to just attack Sirius like this. He was in full control and grinned a wide grin as Sirius gave a whimper and opened his mouth to allow Remus' tongue inside of his mouth. Remus groaned as he entered the warmth that was Sirius' delicious mouth. Remus had never made out with anyone, other than Sirius at Halloween, and that was a hazy memory.

But nothing tasted sweeter than making out with a man you loved. Nothing, not even to a chocoholic. Remus groaned as Sirius knotted his fingers in his hair and Remus pulled more on the towel, the two never breaking contact as Sirius crawled over the footboard and onto the bed. Finally parting mouths once they were chest to chest, panting for air.

"Bloody hell Remus" Sirius panted his eyes never leaving Remus' "What the hell was that"

"This is me saying I fucking want you" Sirius' eyes went wide as with a swift jerk from Remus' wrist the towel fell down revealing a very rock hard member "Right" Remus leaned forward close to Sirius' ear "fucking" he whispered in his ear. "now" and sucked softly on Sirius' earlobe as the boy shook as he groaned gripping Remus' hips so hard there would defiantly be bruises tomorrow morning.

Sirius pushed him down into the bed as the boys again clashed mouths both of their hearts hammering against their chests. Remus had his fingers dug into Sirius' shoulder blades as the boy licked and nipped down his neck.

Remus gasped as he heard his shirt rip as Sirius tore it off of him. "I could have pulled it off"

"Take to damn long" Sirius growled as he attacked Remus' collar bone causing the man underneath him to buck up their bodies grinding together, causing an animalistic noise to erupt from both of their mouths.

"Your neighbors are gonna hate you" Remus gasped as Sirius ran his velvet like tongue down from his adams apple down to his happy trail and back "mmm Sirius"

"I couldn't care less what they think" Sirius grinned as he nipped at Remus' chest, each graze of his teeth sent electricity through Remus' body like nothing he'd ever felt before, his hands were knotted in Sirius' hair. He was so out of it he didn't hear his belt come undone, nor did he feel his pants and boxers be taken off.

Only when the air from the room hit his exposed body did a hiss come from his lips. He heard Sirius chuckle before bucking up as Sirius' mouth was against his hip bone. "S-Sirius" Remus stuttered.

"Oh I'm not letting you off that quick" Sirius pulled away chuckling as Remus whimpered, now with the sudden loss of Sirius' warmth near his legs he shivered. "Na uh, if you want more you need to co-" he didn't get to finish as Remus tackled him pinning him against the bed, Sirius starred back at him, eyes wide with shock as the blonde attacked his mouth, before letting his hands explore the body underneath him.

Shivers raced through Sirius' body as Remus' feather light touch ran from head to toe of Sirius' body. But Remus was a cruel man and avoided the one part of Sirius' body he wanted touched more than anything.

"Dammit Remus quit being a fucking tease"

"Not yet" Remus breathed against his throat, before licking where his pulse was thumping underneath his skin. "Mmm I want you so bad"

"Then have me" Sirius breathed arching up to Remus, and grinded their bodies together, causing both men to let out noises one just couldn't describe. "Have me now" Sirius panted, his body couldn't take any more torture.

"No, you have to wait" Remus chuckled a dark chuckle as his tongue slid down the same path Sirius had on him, watching the muscles in Sirius' abs twitch and quiver as he went slower. "except" Remus whispered as he got down to his happy trail "I might just have to take a taste of you" he breathed before running his tongue down Sirius' hardened member causing Sirius to cry out and buck up towards him.

"Remus" he cried out, reaching down and knotting his hands in Remus' hair. His body still shivered from the effect Remus had on him. He could barley focus on the room as it soon started to spin as Remus teased his cock with the warmth of his mouth.

Sirius was right at the edge as Remus pulled his sweet mouth away and grinned a wicked grin "I think that might make me worse than you" he chuckled before Sirius grabbed him and wrapped his hand around Remus' cock, causing stars to dance around Remus' head.

"Ohh, two can play at your game Remus John Lupin" Sirius growled. Remus had been on his knees as Sirius slid underneath him and took all of his cock in his mouth, causing Remus to cry out.

"SIRIUS"

"REMUS" he jerked awake as he felt an elbow hit his side. "What the hell are you going on about" a very sleepy Sirius growled from the other side of the bed.

Remus felt the heat engulf his body. Oh shit…he'd been dreaming, about him and Sirius… he couldn't finish the thought as he hid his face in the pillow as he realized his whole body was wide awake. He could even hear his heart racing in his ears.

"S-sorry Sirius"

"Entertaining dream"

"You could say that"

Sirius chuckled from beside him and rolled over throwing his arm over Remus' chest. "Wanna talk to me about it" Sirius breathed in his ear, it was almost like the boy knew just what had gone on in his head.

"I don't remember what happened it in" he lied. He felt Sirius sigh against his shoulder before he nuzzled it.

"Well go back to sleep Rem" Sirius chuckled, "I'm here if you need me" he breathed against his ear before he rolled back over.

Remus had gulped, and he wasn't sure if Sirius had heard it. 'Yes I need you' Remus thought 'to roll on your fucking stomach and let me fuck you senseless' he thought as he hid his face in his pillow. He couldn't believe his mind had wandered off in his sleep, into the deepest darkest corners of his mind. He hoped he wouldn't dream like that again, or if he did at least wouldn't wake Sirius.

Meanwhile as Sirius rolled over he grinned like an idiot, Remus had been dreaming about him. He had practically cried out his name, which had been what woke him. And now, he lay there, wondering if Remus would finish his dream, and call out for him again. But he never got to find out, as he fell back asleep with the grin still on his face.


	25. Just You and I

**And the next chapter, you guys mad at me for the last one XD. I couldn't just have Remy full out accept it like that! I know I'm a cruel woman. Don't worry I'll make it up to you soon, if the story continues the way I want...that is. OH and you guys have any suggestions to the story I am very open to them. I'd love to see what you guys would like to see them try in this story. Oh and do you guys mind the two chapters a day? I mean..I don't want it to be to much. Let me know.**

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><p>Sirius woke up to the sound of a shower running, his mind slowly got used to the sound before he sat bolt upright and starred at the open bathroom door. He looked over and realized someone had slept in his room, and he panicked before he noticed the wand that lay on the other bedside table and relaxed knowing exactly who the wand belonged to.<p>

"Morning Remus" Sirius shouted as he walked into the bathroom and continued on with his morning habits.

"Er…isn't there a half bath"

"Too lazy" Sirius chuckled from the toilet "besides, there is a curtain between me and you" he chuckled before slipping his hand in knowing just where to reach, and when he heard Remus squeak he knew he had grabbed his target.

"Sirius Black" Remus hissed as he poked his head out on the other end of the shower. "Now I told you I was flattered by your crush, but…I did not under any circumstances tell you, that you could flirt with me. Especially when the flirtations are physical"

"I've been doing it for years, you've never cared then" Sirius chuckled as he headed out of the bathroom "Pancakes good for breakfast"

"Are you going to wait for me to finish to go out?"

"What, no come on Remus I can cook" Sirius chuckled.

"I know you can" Remus reached out for a towel. "Pass me that will you"

"Just come out naked I've seen it all a million times" Sirius couldn't hide the smirk on his face. He heard Remus sigh as the water turned off, was he really going to walk out naked?

Sirius felt himself turn his back to the wolf as he indeed did walk out naked, playing the game Sirius thought he was too shy to play.

"What's a matter Sirius" Remus teased "Can't take your own game?"

"Shuddup wolf boy" Sirius grumbled. He could take it if only Remus felt the same. "You're almost too comfortable with me crushing on you"

"That's because I know how crushes work with Sirius Black" Remus chuckled as he walked past him.

Sirius swallowed and walked out of the bathroom and bedroom "I'll start on breakfast." he whispered, hiding his hurt.

"Sounds good" Remus chuckled. He hadn't noticed Sirius' flat voice or the pain in his eyes as the boy walked out.

Sirius started up breakfast thinking about Remus had said, at first it hurt him down deep. Almost killing him, but the longer he thought about it, he realized Remus had every right to say that. Plus if that was how he dealt with his friends crush, what was that to bother him?

That was the point, he had lied yesterday. It wasn't just a crush; it had been a crush in third year. It had been like , like in fifth and in the transition to sixth to seventh year, and even now. He knew it was a much deeper emotion than that. One he had never felt for anyone else in his whole life. And yesterday when he had caved and told him, he had been too scared to look Remus in the eye and tell him that he loved him.

With pancakes and eggs made Sirius smiled at the small breakfast he had made. He was very happy with his skills, despite what everyone though. Sirius had learned how to cook when he was a child. His father had showed him, as well as he had watched Kreacher for years prepare food. Even if he and the elf didn't see eye to eye a lot, he had always admired his cooking. Eventually when Regulus had gotten older the two boys watched the elf cook and sometimes even helped him. Of course this was only done when Walburga wasn't anywhere around.

When Remus sat down it had pulled him form his thoughts. "You should open a restaurant"

"I thought about it" Sirius sat down and started on his own breakfast "If I can't me an Auror or a Hit Wizard that's my next idea" he smiled. "What about you Moon, I don't think we've ever talked about it"

"Eh, whatever I can get" Remus chuckled leaning back in his chair, food long since gone. "Teacher would have been nice, but" he sighed "You know why I can't do that"

"Pff, just because you turn into a wolf once a month is no reason why you shouldn't"

"Who'd hire"

"Try muggle schools"

Remus looked at Sirius, and smiled. "I couldn't do that; they wouldn't give me the time to rest"

"I could take care of you, heal you up good as new then kick your tail to school"

Remus chuckled and shook his head "No, I probably will sadly end up living month to month. Or end up staying with my parents" the wolf cringed "So much for a love life"

Sirius laughed "You could always move in with me…I mean of course we'd have to get a bigger flat, but…I'd have no problem sharing"

"Sirius, as nice as that is…" Remus sighed; he looked out the small window that was in Sirius' kitchen. "I think it'd be a bad idea" he finally gave up, not really knowing why he'd turn down the offer.

Sirius sighed as he sat at the table "Cause I like guys as well as girls"

"What no" Remus turned to him "No that has nothing to do with it" Remus chuckled "least of my worries"

"You think Prongs will mind" Sirius asked turning his glass in his hands.

"Ever had a crush on him" Remus chuckled as he leaned against the counter. Sirius turned to face him shaking his head. "Then I wouldn't tell him you have a crush on me, you'd break his ego" causing the two of them to laugh. Remus couldn't have been happier, standing right there in Sirius' small flat laughing with him. Just being with him always made the boy so much happier.

After a few hours Sirius drug Remus out into the cold London streets he'd been in the house too long and demanded the two go out and find something to do. The day flew by the two, after getting caught in a large snowball fight in Regents Park drenched the two headed to a café to warm up.

Eventually the evening winded down and the two ended up in a pizza place down the road from Sirius' flat.

"This has to be one of my favorite places to eat" Sirius chuckled, as he reached for another slice of the pizza the two shared "You have no idea how happy I was when I stumbled upon this place one of the first nights I moved in"

"I'm sure you've been eating pizza more than you should" Remus chuckled over his drink. Today had had an enchanting sort of feeling, almost like it was too good to be true. "I'm allowed to crash at your place another night aren't I"

"I couldn't turn you away if I tried love" Sirius raised his glass and smiled. He couldn't help but chuckle as Remus blushed. "Like it when I call you love"

"Oh stuff it Sirius" Remus grumbled. He could feel his determination to not tell Sirius he liked him slipping from his fingers. Or so he thought until Sirius pinched the rear end of the girl that walked by. She turned to face him and Sirius winked, again the charm of Sirius Black kept him from getting a slap in the face. Remus quickly reminded himself he was only out for a new flavor.

As the night went on the two boys finally headed back to Sirius' flat, the two of them tired from the days activates and after changing into their sleeping clothes they crawled into bed and Sirius snuggled close to Remus.

Remus sighed and hid his smile from the world as Sirius draped his arm around him. "Don't mind do ya Moon"

"No, it's cold so your warmth is much appreciated"

Sirius chuckled behind him as he nuzzled as close as he could to the werewolf he secretly claimed as his own "Good night Remus"

"Night Sirius" Remus turned out the light and with the two cloaked in darkness faded off to their dreams, which had more in common than the other boy truly knew.


	26. Happy New Year

**Before we start let me address something, those of you who are posting a****nonymously on Chapter 24 (Tainted). First off if your a normal reviewer...I feel a little bit betrayed by you guys! Its the only chapter I have ever posted where all of my reviews for it are anonymous. If your a normal or any reader/reviewer don't be afraid to tell me what you think. I can take it :)**

**Two...it was Remus' dream, of course he is going to be dominate. Dreams are not something you can control, they tend to reflect things about you, and with Remus being the werewolf of course he'd be more dominate in his dream. And again, it was his dream, would it not be more accurate for him to be domiante when he's nervous about being gay? Besides, in a heathly relationship the two take turns. So there will be times where both Sirius and Remus will be top and bottom. So no this is not a fanfic where one is always top and one is always bottom. Because relationships are not that way.**

**Also Sirius didn't get all of the pleasure, it was given quite equally in diffrent ways. Just...Remus' got interupted cause he called out in said dream. I am a very fair person, so one will not get more than the other...even with sex. **

**I didn't address this yesterday because...well I didn't get my reviews until today XD. Also its here because again...the reviewers who reviewed the chapter are anonymous. But at least its out there right?**

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><p>It was well after two in the afternoon on New Years Eve; Sirius had decided that today would be the one day he'd sleep in. Sleep till about six or so then get ready for the Potter's annual New Year's Eve party. Party all night come home crash then get on the train to go to Hogwarts.<p>

The thought of going back to Hogwarts made the young adult quite happy, though that meant classes and exams. It also meant pranks and all out fun for the last few months of school.

But right now Sirius' main problem was the pounding on his front door, half expecting it to be Molly making sure he was still alive.

"Yes Molly I am…" he stopped starring at the large man at his front door. It took him a couple moments to recognize the man at the front door. "Dad?"

"I'd ask who Molly was, but I think first I should ask why you would come to the door in your boxers if it was a woman coming to the door" Orion Black pushed through the door and shut it after he walked in, slipping his shoes off. "Afternoon son"

"Mmhmm" Sirius rubbed the back of his neck "And I'd come to the door because she's seen worse"

"Oh"

"I mean…oh Nevermind" Sirius sighed "So what brings you here"

"I said I'd come see you didn't I"

"Yes but not on New Year's Eve. I'll see you tonight at the party remember"

"That's why I'm here" Orion sighed walking over to Sirius' couch and sitting down "I won't be there" the way his father sat head in his hands Sirius knew something was very wrong.

"Why, you always come"

"Because Tom is coming to the house tonight, to speak to Regulus about something" It took Sirius a moment to understand who he was talking about. But when his mind recognized the name he starred at his father.

"You realize you could turn him over to the authorities"

"While my son, your brother, is a death eater" Orion stood up glaring at Sirius "And don't you fucking dare even try it" Sirius had never seen his father angry, frustrated and annoyed. But never angry. And here he stood in Sirius' own flat. Furious.

"Dad…I was just saying" he whispered "Sit down, and calm down"

"Sorry" Orion sat down and ran his fingers through his hair. "I just…I can't take this much more. The damn boy is going to kill me one day"

"He will not"

"You watch, this time next year you'll be putting your old man in the ground"

Sirius sighed, he now knew where he got his dramatics from "Dad" Sirius leaned against the couch behind his father "You will be fine, Reg will be fine. This war will end soon. Voldemort is what fifty something"

Neither Orion nor Sirius flinched at the mention of the Dark Lords name. Of course they both had heard it so many times neither of them flinched anymore.

"But…I don't think it's that simple Sirius" Orion rubbed his face "When he was in school he was poking in really serious dark magic"

"No magic in the world provides immortality"

"That we, decent wizards are aware of"

Sirius sighed, there was just not communicating with his father when he was in one of these moods. He simply just patted his father's back. "Everything will be fine dad" he wrapped his arms around his father's shoulders "By the way I told Remus I had a crush on him" Sirius grinned, knowing that his father would easily realize the change in subject. And when his father whipped his head around Sirius grinned.

"And"

"Well were not dating" Sirius chuckled. "I am so glad your not one of those weird parents"

"Eh I still got Reg for kids, what does it matter" Orion grinned "And I knew you liked guys as well when you were a little kid, so it doesn't shock me"

"Shocked the hell out of me"

"Only because you have a terrible taste in men" Orion teased. Sirius glared at him "You know I'm teasing. As much as I've heard you talk about Remus, he seems a fine man to pop your cherry"

"DAD!"

"What, come on now. Who are you talking to again?"

"My father"

"And who gave you your sense of humor"

"My father"

"Good boy" Orion stood up. "Though sadly I cannot stay" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Your mother said I needed to be home before four AND I still have to do some shopping for Riddlekins"

"Mother would kill you if she heard you say that"

"Which is why I said it here" The two men chuckled. And as quickly as he came with a hug goodbye Orion left. Leaving Sirius feeling heavier, though he wouldn't show it in front of his father, he worried about them. Afraid the family had made a grave mistake letting his younger brother do something so reckless.

The rest of the day it lay heavy on Sirius' shoulders as he got ready. He was lucky the New Year's Party was only the Potter's closest friends and family. So it wouldn't be too much stress on the already stressed out man.

Only when he went down to the garage of his flats and looked at his motorbike did he smile. He had unhooked the sidecar in a matter of moments, shrinking in down and sliding it inside one of the side bags of the bike, kick started it and sped off.

Normally he'd never ride it out in the snow, but tonight it's just what he needed. To hear the loud roar as he sped up to the mansion that the Potter's owned. It was a long drive away, so by the time he got there he was nearly late.

He knew everyone would already be there, so after parking the bike outside dusted himself off and smiled. He was quite happy that the New Years Party never was a very fancy event. Walking inside he was greeted by warmth and laughter, exactly how one should spend a holiday, and he frowned a little. Knowing not only would his father not be here tonight. But he'd have to suffer at number twelve.

With a clap on the back the feeling was forgot.

"Where have you been" he could hear Remus' voice tickle his ear, making the world a much better place. Sirius turned and smiled at him. "Did you drive that all the way here?"

"Course I did, she needed a good drive"

"Didn't fly did you"

"Clouds were too thick" he chuckled and slung an arm around Remus, "Where are the others at"

"Everyone's in the living room, waiting"

"Then let's go join them"

With the two of them smiling they both walked in stride with one another into the living room. The party was in full swing. James' family all hanging around with a few family friends. The Potters were a very tight knit group. Sirius wasn't very surprised when he noticed Lily Evans was at James' side. She smiled at him and patted the seat beside her, apparently James' sweet princess wanted to talk to him, after slipping away from Remus and another man he had been talking to he sat down beside her.

"Evenin' flower" he smiled, Lily patted his thigh.

"Remus told me you confessed"

"H-he did" Sirius gasped "Did he say anything else"

"Only that he needed to tell someone before he popped"

"It doesn't freak him out does it?"

"No" Lily shook her head and chuckled "He just didn't know who to turn to, to talk to about it. Is all" she smiled "I followed your example though"

"Huh" he looked at her.

"Remember what you told me earlier this year"

"About denying ourselves what we want"

"Exactly"

"You're on a date"

"Not tonight" Lily chuckled "But I have a plan for this evening"

Sirius grinned, the red head didn't have to explain her plan, he could read the look in her eyes. James Potter was about to have the best New Years of his life. "I'm going to feel like a copy cat" Sirius chuckled finally.

"You and Remus have kissed many times" Lily grinned "I haven't kissed Potter once"

"Don't call him Potter"

"He's paying attention" she nodded in James' direction, and indeed the hazel eyes of James Potter were locked onto Sirius and Lily.

"You have him wrapped around your finger"

"Oddly enough I have for years" Lily stood "James and I shall see you later after he's done mingling"

"Have fun getting to know the in-laws" Sirius teased, Lily stuck her tongue out at him as she walked over to James.

Hours passed without Sirius really noticing just what time it was. It wasn't until he heard the countdown begin that he began to panic. He hadn't kept an eye on Remus all night long. As he squirmed through people.

Ten

Come on, where was he? He searched around, why hadn't he paid attention to what Remus was wearing the one time he needed to know he hadn't been paying attention.

Five

He glanced and found Lily and James, he could see the nervousness on her face, was she really that nervous. Then again she had defiled his advances year after year of course she should be nervous.

Two

There he was Sirius dashed, practically tackling the boy to the ground, with a grunt from Remus as they made contact the party chimed in the New Year.

Couples turned to give each other New Year kisses and with Sirius pinning Remus to the ground the boy starred at him, almost unsure if he should.

"If you're going to hover over me" Remus chuckled still pinned to the ground. "The least you can do is kiss me" he smiled. It's like he had known all night long just what Sirius had planned.

"Is that why you hid"

"I had to make it fun, I wanted to see if you'd even try and find me"

Sirius bent his head down, a ghosts whisper away from Remus' mouth. "Course I'd come find…"

The conversation was cut short by a giggle and then "SHE KISSED ME"

Remus rose up; Sirius glared at the floor Remus had just been laying on like he was going to set it on fire. "Hey James got a-" he was stopped by a pair of warm lips against his. But before he could even react to the kiss Sirius pulled away.

"Yep" Sirius chuckled standing up and pulling Remus to his feet "James Potter finally was kissed by Lily Evans" he smiled. Remus couldn't read the look on Sirius' face. Try as he might he couldn't figure it out. "Happy New Year Moony"

"Happy New Year Padfoot" Remus smiled.

Sirius felt a knife in his gut; it had almost been like Remus had tried to change the subject to dodge the bullet that was Sirius wanting to kiss him. Maybe it had been a bad idea, to even think about it. Maybe he shouldn't have done it. He watched Remus out of the corner of his eye as he walked over to James and Lily, not even calling him to join the three. He watched them from where he stood. Congratulations and teasing was what he figured was going on. Eventually James realized Sirius had even made it to the party and waved him over, giving him a 'what are you doing over there' look. Sirius walked over and put on a smile, masking his inner workings.

Maybe he needed to try and get rid of his feelings for Remus, he thought with each step he took. Could he do it? He'd tried for years to make it go away. But never really succeeding, but as Remus moved away from him as he took his place in their circle, he felt the sting of rejection. He was a very good person at taking rejection but this hurt. Remus wasn't only the center of his affection but he was also one of his best mates. How could he have been so stupid to think this would be ok? He sighed to himself; he should have never opened his mouth to Remus.

Meanwhile deep in Remus' mind he was lost in his own thoughts, the murmurs of the group around him were soothing but nothing was quite as comfortable as Sirius' presence in the group. Just something about him brought gentleness to everything around him. Even the moon wasn't as harsh as it used to be before Sirius came into his life. With the turning of a new year Remus was bound and determined to be brave and tell Sirius Black that he had in fact fallen very in love with him. The problem was how, how do you tell a man you've known for years that you've fallen very in love with him.


	27. The Book

**Oh and if I seemed upset with what I wrote on Chapter 26 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound that way just I wanted you all to know I am reading your comments and it was the only way to respond to you :) And that way you all know what to expect :) **

**OHHHH And also! This is a just letting my current readers that this will be my last update until Sunday, I'll be away from my internet until then BUT I will write as much as I can while I'm gone. But I do know I will at least have a chapter written to post on Sunday when I am back to my internet. Enjoy and talk to you all on Sunday! Have a good weekend!**

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><p>Once the train had started up Remus felt his eyes start to flutter closed. He hadn't slept much the night before. He bad been to excited not only to get back to Hogwarts but to start on the plan he had in his head. Sirius had already made it much easier on him, confessing his feelings. Now he merely needed to find the courage and the right time to confess to Sirius his own emotions.<p>

James was off doing head duty, Sirius and Peter were wrapped up in a game of exploding snap on the floor of the train. The countryside was still covered in snow as the train trekked forward closer and closer to Hogwarts Castle. The gentle sound of the wheels clacking against the tracks was starting to lull the young werewolf to sleep. As well as the laughter of his friends, though his main focus of sound was the laughter that came from Sirius. As well as focusing on any other sounds he made. How he had stayed awake long enough for the game to end he wasn't sure. But soon he was greeted by a warm embrace from Sirius.

"What's wrong Moony" Peter squeaked from the other side of the compartment.

"Just a little tired is all" Remus smiled, "That's all"

"Full moon is two weeks away why are you tired" the rat squeaked. His eyes never leaving Remus, like he could read what was going on in his mind.

"Didn't sleep well that's all Pete, nothing more" Remus chuckled. Sirius had burrowed his head underneath Remus' arm. Remus gave him a sleepy smiled and closed his eyes. "Yes Pads" Remus chuckled.

"Nothing, just listening to your heart beat" Sirius smiled "its keeping beat with the train" Remus didn't know why he laughed but he did. It was nice just to enjoy the train ride with Sirius and Peter. Though the glances Peter was giving them should have forewarned him for what was about to come out of his mouth.

"Are you two gay" he finally asked after a long inner battle with himself "You've been like this for years…and I figured if you were you'd tell us"

Peter was being uncharacteristically brave. This caused both Remus and Sirius to look at one another before Sirius started "And if we were?"

"Well maybe you should tell someone" Peter snapped. The two of them stared at one another again before Remus sighed.

"Pete, look, were not gay. So calm down" Remus ruffled Sirius' hair "As you said we've been like this for years. What's wrong with it now?"

"Neither of you are like that with James or I"

"Actually" Sirius chuckled "I am quite like this with James. He of course has more of a person bubble than Remus but I do tend to lean on him just as much. It kind of comes with being a dog Peter; we liked to be in people's space"

"And you don't hang around me like that, why"

"For the simple fact" Sirius stood up and looked at Peter in the eye "You've told me you didn't like it"

"They tell you that"

"They've never meant it" Sirius stood nose to nose with Peter, almost daring him to counteract his argument. Peter almost looked as if he was going to when the compartment door opened.

"What's wrong with you two" James snapped. Causing Sirius to merely look up at James.

"Peter has a problem with me leaning on Remus and you, apparently it's gay"

"It is, but when has it ever bothered any of us" James chuckled plopping down in the seat beside Peter "You've done it for years, I see why its no worry now" he propped his feet up on the other side of the seat smiling "So Wormy, relax a little he never leans on you, so no need to worry about your appearance, and hello Remus"

"Hello James" Remus chuckled from behind his book before patting the seat beside himself "Come on Pads, sit down"

Sirius sighed forgetting his argument with Peter before sitting back down and curling up next to Remus. The compartment fell silent for a while, Peter and James fell sound asleep as the ride continued on. Remus felt himself slipping, the words on the page started to blur together; he almost had forgotten Sirius' head was in his lap until the boy spoke.

"Remus, what exactly are you reading"

Remus jumped with a start and starred at Sirius, before rubbing his eyes.

"Oh did you fall asleep" Sirius chuckled "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, but you've been on the same page for twenty minutes…I was getting bored reading the same lines over and over again"

"You've been reading" Remus asked

"I always read what your reading, at least when it's in front of my face. It's quite relaxing"

Remus flipped the page "Sorry, I started to fall asleep is all"

"Its ok" Sirius pulled the book from his hands and held it in his own "You can go to sleep if you don't mind me reading"

Remus shook his head and leaned against the compartment window, his hand started to run his fingers through Sirius' hair as he started to fall back asleep.

"Wake me when we get there"

"Will do" Sirius chuckled. He continued reading as he listened to Remus finally fall asleep, comfortable in his position he continued to read.

"Remus" Sirius called softly "Remy, wake up" he shook him. Sirius had let him sleep too long; he'd gotten too wrapped up in the book. His mind had run away with him, the only way he had even realized the train had stopped was a nudge from James before he got up.

Remus opened his eyes slowly almost forgetting where he was till he noticed Sirius standing there, already in his school uniform. "Where are we?"

"Hogwarts" Sirius chuckled "Come on get dressed" he smiled handing Remus his uniform. The shades had been pulled down covering the windows of the compartment for Remus to change. He had been so tired he hadn't even realized Sirius was still in the compartment, though once he slid his robe on and he heard a book shut his mind refocused.

"You're still reading"

"Read the whole way here, you don't mind if I borrow this do you" Sirius looked at him "I mean…I know you were-"

"No go ahead, if your enjoying it read on" Remus smiled "I've read that book at least a dozen times, I can easily recite it in my head if I wanted to" he chuckled, "So enjoy it" Sirius smiled as he slid open the compartment door, and the two hunted for the marauders.

Once the group had reassembled itself they were loaded into a carriage and pulled forward. The whole carriage ride was quite, everyone really only ready to eat then curl up in their beds.

Once the feast was over and most of Gryffindor in their tower the marauders headed to their dorm. Silently the group got ready for bed and as quickly as they finished crawled into bed.

Remus had been slipping between his curtains when he heard Sirius call for him.

"What ya need Padfoot"

"Wanna come sit with me and read" Sirius held the book between his hands. Remus had never once in his life seen Sirius so into a book. It had taken no great effort to pull Remus from his own bed to curl up next to Sirius and listen to Sirius' soft voice as he read the book.

The hard part was staying awake, he'd been read to many times as a child and it had never been very hard to stay awake during any of his mother's readings. But Sirius, Sirius was a different story. His smoothly almost lullaby like voice drifted over his head causing him to slowly close his eyes.

Sirius had smiled when he felt the boy beside him drift off into sleep, But he continued reading, now quietly to himself. He'd finish the chapter before he went to bed himself, a habit Remus had some how ingrained in him, probably by his constant 'I'm almost done with this chapter hold on'. He smiled as he finished the chapter. Flicked out the light on his wand and laid the book gently on the bed side table. And snuggled into his covers.

He hadn't really planned for Remus to end up in his bed that night. He had figured Remus would get up tell him goodnight and crawl into his own bed. But it didn't bother him that the boy still laid there. The second his body was greeted by the warmth of his covers as well as Remus' body his eyes started to close.

"Good night moony" he whispered before pulling the thinner boy closer to him and letting the soft breathing of all of his friends gently sing him to sleep.


	28. Finders Keepers

**Hiya guys! I'm sorry this update is late! Ugh, last night I didn't get a chance to get online to update but I am back! And the updates shall begin to be daily again! I missed you guys! Hopefully these two chapters make up for me being late XD**

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><p>It had been a week since term started, a week since Sirius had claimed Remus' book. He had since read through three of his books. It had been an odd happening within the marauder clan. None of them quite understood just why he had been reading them. And the oddest thing was if Remus asked him a question about what happened in the book, he could actually answer.<p>

Remus wasn't sure what was more unnerving, that Sirius Black was actually reading or the fact that he was enjoying reading enough he actually paid attention to the story.

"You know" Sirius stared peered over the top of his four borrowed book "You all could stop looking at me like I have grown two heads"

"It's not that Sirius" Peter sighed as he looked at Sirius from his four poster bed. "It's the fact that you're reading"

"He was being sarcastic Pete" James sighed. "Though I must ask what has gotten you into reading all the sudden Pads, you've teased Remus for years about it"

"Can't beat 'em join 'em" Sirius chuckled as he ducked his head behind the pages of the story. His latest read was King Arthur. One of the few books Remus had many different tellings of.

"You know" Remus chuckled looking up from his potions essay. "The rest of you might enjoy it as much as he does"

"Nothing beats a good prank" James chuckled.

"I hear ya" Sirius smiled behind his book "But, if what Remus reads is always as interesting then reading isn't so bad either"

"So you say" Peter sighed.

"Hey I read once in a while" James grunted.

"For class" Remus chuckled "Which doesn't count"

"NO!" James rolled over and slid his hand into the drawer of his bedside table "I can read" he held up a book. "Though I can't say its mine, I borrowed it"

"From" Sirius slid his finger in-between the pages of the book, knowing that for now he'd have no concentration.

"Lily" James smiled "She was reading and not talking to be so I snagged it and started reading"

"Then he was captured" Remus chuckled "Quite like Sirius"

The sound of Peter gagging made all three boys look at him. "Sounds like both of them are bit by the love bug"

James snorted and slid the book back into its proper place "Nothing wrong with that"

"Who Says?"

It was like the whole world had stopped. As each marauder looked at one another then back to Peter, who still was lounging on his back. Remus felt the hairs on his neck stand on end; he could almost feel the negative energy that filled the room.

"What's wrong with me being in love" Sirius finally asked his voice flat but his eyes reflected his emotions within. "Am I not capable of love?"

"Come on Sirius" Peter rolled over looking at the black haired boy, apparently not taking the hint that he should probably shut his mouth. "We all know you, you couldn't ground yourself with anyone" the look in Peter's eyes almost meant more than what he said "So do I don't think your capable of it." he smiled.

Remus felt like a thunderstorm had just blown in and the lightning was cracking above his head. He felt James rush past but didn't notice why.

"Is that so" Sirius spat standing up straight "You know Peter if I didn't know you better I'd say you were trying to piss me off" he growled. Remus watched almost like he was watching a movie, like he couldn't do a thing about what was going on in front of him.

"I'm just saying"

"Sirius calm down, Pete apologize"

"For what" Peter snapped "I am stating my opinion"

"You know very well Sirius is capable of love" James sighed "Besides, you can't take your girlfriend dumping you on us, at least not in the way you are now"

Peter rolled over and stood up. "You don't control me James Potter; I've had it up to here with your bullshit. Thinking you own the world, watch out or it might get you in trouble"

A loud boom of thunder echoed in Remus' ears, he could smell the rain from where he sat.

"WHY YOU LITTLE -"

"Leave it Sirius" James whispered his hand still wrapped tightly around Sirius' forearm "He's just pissed off. Peter get out of here" James looked at the fourth marauder very seriously "Before I hex you from the hole you crawled out of"

And with James' words Peter walked out of the room, head held high. When the door shut behind him only then did James release Sirius. "You sit down" he looked at Sirius. "Moony"

The call woke Remus from his frozen state and looked at James, with utter confusion "Yes"

"You ok"

Sirius now took the time to turn and face Remus; eyes were dark with anger and pent up energy. Though at the sight of Remus he relaxed himself and sat back down.

"Yes I'm fine…it's just" he rubbed his forehead "What was that all about"

"Apparently this morning Pete's girlfriend dumped him"

"Serves him right" Sirius hissed ice in his voice. Opening his book and ignoring the rest of the world.

James sighed and shook his head, clearly something else was going on but he couldn't quite put a finger on it. It was like he had purposely pressed Sirius' buttons and his alone. Only when James stood in the way did Peter jump at him, and Peter knew that, that would only make Sirius angrier.

"I don't know" James pulled his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We've never really seen Pete upset, maybe this is his reaction to it"

"Or maybe he has a wand shoved so far up his-"

"Sirius stop" Remus sighed and walked over to the black headed boy "Calm down" he patted his shoulder "You're the easiest of us to rile up, and if he wanted a fight he picked the right one to do it with"

"Do you two think I am incapable of love" he had asked the two of them, but he looked right in Remus' eyes. Almost causing the boy to flinch.

"I think you are" James patted Sirius' thigh "Takes the right person to come along is all" he looked at his watch. "You two play nice…no more fights, I have to go see Lily about prefect plans, Remus I'll see you later"

Remus only nodded still unable to speak from the gaze he was under.

"Well" Sirius chuckled "I won't blow up at you Moon; I want you to be honest. Pete just got under my skin"

"Does it matter what I think" Remus turned his back, unable to stare into the grey eyes that practically pleaded for him to believe he was capable of love.

"You don't" Sirius sighed, "Do You?"

"No I do…its just" Remus sighed, unable to even explain why he had taken so long to answer.

"Just what, think it'll take me till I'm too old to pass on genetics" Sirius chuckled.

"No" Remus smiled "I just think the girl that comes along might have already done so and you just missed her"

Sirius rolled his eyes "Oh Remus" he chuckled. "I doubt so, I think I would know"

"So you say" Remus walked over to his bed, and pulled out one of his books, he hadn't noticed Sirius' gaze. He hadn't even realized the book he had picked up. But as he opened it a piece of paper slid out.

He almost snapped at Sirius, thinking the boy had torn a page and pretended to hide it. But when he flipped over the page his mouth opened a little.

_Have I ever told you that, with you near, I could face anything?_

Remus looked up; he'd know that hand writing anywhere. Starring at Sirius who was already back into his book. He felt a knot form in his throat. Half of Remus wanted to leap up and search through the rest of the books the boy had read. Wondering if he'd find yet another note. But he stopped himself, Sirius was not a romantic person, well he was when he wanted a score. But he doubted Sirius would use his own books as a vessel for such notes.

Maybe it had been something he had written thought about giving to someone and instead changed his mind and slid it into the book so no one could find it. Remus had told him he'd read it so much he could recite it by heart. And in Sirius' mind once something was memorized why go back and study it? He shrugged, had it even been for him to see? He doubted it. Sirius might have had a crush on him but he'd known Sirius way to long to know Sirius would not go this far for a mere crush.

But despite his minds reasoning he slid the note into his pocket and smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He didn't care if it was for anyone else or if it was for him, he had found it and by marauder law it was finders keepers.

And unknowingly to him Sirius had already planned his train of thought out, and knew that he would have tried to think it away, but kept it for marauders law sake. And unknowingly to Remus Sirius grinned behind his book as he watched the boy slip the note away, watched the corners of his mouth twitch. One down, and so many more to go.


	29. The Unknown

**And yet another chapter! Do you guys like how this story is going so far, does it flow well? Give me feedback guys! I'd love to know what you all honestly think!**

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><p>Waking up after full moon was never Remus' favorite thing to do. Everything always hurt, he was always groggy. And worst of all no hangover headache could beat the ones he woke up with after full moon. He rubbed his forehead and groaned rolling over to the side and thought about falling back asleep. Till he realized there were already a stack of notes beside his bed, along with a book placed on top of it. He sat up slowly, his body protesting the movements.<p>

When he finally reached over he glanced at the notes, Transfigurations and Charms, written in Sirius' hand writing. Remus' eyebrows rose.

He was very used to James' handwriting when it came to both classes for notes, especially because he knew quite well that Sirius despite never writing a single set of notes for class could easily do the spells. But he always had a quick notes quill scribble them down for him. Which no matter how much teachers protested such actions Sirius never listened. But looking down at the notes he could tell Sirius had written them.

Flipping through the few pages for each class he chuckled, in the margins was Sirius' own thoughts.

_Ugh why do I have to write notes for Animgi, I already am one! It was EASY!_

_Minnie baby…come on, ask me a question I have my hand UP for once!_

_FINE ask Potter then, I see how muc-_

_Ohh finally pick me and look all shocked when I know what I'm talking about_

Remus chuckled, at each little note that he read, Sirius must have had to do something to keep himself awake as he wrote notes. The sentiment alone was touching; Sirius never wrote notes for himself and hadn't written Remus' in years. So that fact alone made him smile. When he flipped through the charms notes more notes were scribbled in the margins.

_REVIEW UGH! Moony do I have to…never mind I know you'd tell me to write them anyway._

_Why are we going back to year one spells! MOONY THIS IS BORING! Where are you to bother, I know I'll tickle James' nose._

_Sorry about the snot…he sneezed._

Right as Remus went to set the notes aside something in the corner of the page caught his eye.

_I hope your feeling better this morning, did you like my note in the book? I saw you tuck it away. It was true you know, just like what I'm about to write._

_But did you know your smile is the one thing that's kept me going at times I didn't know I could go on._

Remus felt a knot tie itself in his stomach as he starred down at the piece of parchment. His eyes couldn't leave the note at the bottom of the page.

That little note tucked inside his book, that he carried with him everywhere had really been for him? And the one he starred at now was meant for him. And Sirius was only crushing on him? He felt his head spin as he laid back down holding the notes close to his chest.

No wonder he hadn't let James write them today. He had wanted at the end to sneak him a secret message, one that practically made his heart explode out of his chest. How long was Sirius going to go on with this? What had even brought it up? He would have blamed what Peter had said, but he had known for a fact that what Peter had said hadn't been said when Sirius had finished the book that the first note had been in. No that one he'd finish on the third day back. It made no sense.

When he heard Madam Pomfrey walk towards him, he hid the notes back under the book finally taking a good look at it. It had been the book Sirius had recently borrowed, his King Arthur book. He starred at it a good long while, wondering if inside that book was another note.

He didn't have time to look at it before Madam Pomfrey poked her head through his curtain.

"You have visitor's shall I send anyone away"

Remus grinned ear to ear. She had remembered his fight with Sirius, and even though he could tell from the smile on her face she knew his answer he couldn't help but grin even wider.

"No, I'll see them all" and with that she walked away, the grin only widened when Sirius came into view. It probably wasn't healthy in his condition for his heart to be racing like it was, but if here and now he was to die of heart failure he wouldn't care because the last thing he would have seen was Sirius Black smiling at him.

The four of them spent the free period together talking, when the bell rang Sirius and Peter dismissing themselves from the confidents of the hospital wing. Both promising to come back when classes were over.

James had another free period so he would remain with Remus, though the look in his eyes said he had something serious to ask the wolf.

When the door shut James leaned closer "Sirius wrote your notes today." When Remus starred back at him he grinned "Why"

"No reason" Remus shrugged, he could almost feel the blush creeping up his neck. "I have no earthly idea why, I was quite curious myself."

"Any secrets I should know about"

"Nope"

"Nothing happen over break"

Remus knew he was searching Sirius had been acting way to oddly for James' liking and not only that but Sirius had kept more to himself which was a oddity for the boy.

"Nothing important"

"Dammit Remus, don't you hide shit from me too" James hissed, his hazel eyes narrowing "Now look, you can either tell me the truth or I'm going to slip you-"

"Sirius told me he had a crush on me" Remus grumbled "That's all that happened"

"W-what"

"Yes, Sirius Black told me he had a crush on me, is that ok"

"He…I…"

"WHY ARE YOU TWO NOT DATING THEN?" James shouted earning a very dangerous look from Madam Pomfrey "Sorry" he whispered.

"Err…because we know how Sirius and crushes go"

"What the hell! I'm tired of hearing that, you and Peter I swear"

"What else has he said to Sirius" Remus' golden eyes practically glowed as anger bubbled up, anger Remus had not known he possessed.

"Peter hasn't said anything since last week, but…I see it. Ya know, the way he looks at Sirius. Like he knows Sirius is hiding something, though with his last outburst I doubt Sirius would openly tell him now anyway" James leaned back "And what does that have to do with anything, you're a marauder you know Sirius-"

"Better than anyone" Remus gave him a look "You might be the only human being on this planet who knows him better than I, but that doesn't change the fact that you and I both know how he is with the people he crushes on" Remus sighed looking down at his hands "wait…how do you know I like him"

"Do I start from year one or recently"

"Recently"

"Not only did you call out for him a few months ago in your sleep, but Remus come on! I am not blind! I see the way you tend to him, the way you're always at his side. I mean…I know I'm there just as much but it just feels differently you know. Not that there is anything wrong with it, if you two are happy then who am I to tell you no"

Remus sighed and looked back down at his hands "James…I'm terrified of him"

"Why"

"Because I more than have a crush on him, have for years. I mean I've always told myself it'd never happen and the day he told me he had a crush on me I nearly gave it away, but…I just…" he looked back at the stake of notes on his bed side table, and frowned "I'm scared of getting hurt"

"Love's worth the pain" James rested his hand on Remus' leg "I should know"

"I've probably liked him as long as you've chased Lily"

"Long time, mate"

"You're telling me"

"Look…I can try and help"

"No…he'll be over me in a few weeks, and he'll forget he even told me soon after that. Just…let him forget, he doesn't need the pressure of being gay along with being a blood traitor especially with how this world is going"

James starred long and hard at Remus, almost like he wanted to say something. The two sat in silence for a while before James started to speak.

"Which is worse" he stood up "Loving him and if something happens to either of you, the both of you knowing you loved each other. Or the two of you never having anything and living forever and never knowing if the two of you could have ever been something more" James turned to leave "And I'll see you later wolf boy, I gotta go return a book to the library before Madam Pince has my head" he chuckled "See you later"

Remus merely nodded as James exited the hospital wing, his words lying heavy in Remus lap. Sirius was one of those people who would most defiantly pick the second answer as what was worse. Because Sirius always believed no matter how small of time you spent with someone, no matter what happens in the end at least they knew for if only for a while you cared about them they were loved.

Meanwhile Remus though he would also pick the first answer as being the worst didn't always have enough guts to make the same leaps as Sirius did. And really that wasn't even the problem the problem was could he ever watch Sirius be with someone else, and if that someone else was a man could he swallow his pain and accept it, that he had not been enough to stay with him?

Remus rubbed his face and starred back at the notes that Sirius had written for him. "Why is this so damn hard" he whispered out loud. He fell back on his pillow and sighed. Sirius no matter what was never an easy task. And he also reflected on his new year's resolution, to get together with Sirius, give him a chance. But he was scared, scared of all the pain he knew would come from it.

Sirius never lingered long; he had his fill and was done. The only relationships he kept long was his friendships, love never lasted long for Sirius, and on many occasions Sirius had said to the marauders he had never been in love with any of them. And now here Remus was standing at a cross roads the notes Sirius writing telling him that he should jump while Sirius' track record made him halt in his place.

Remus knew best of all to never judge a book by his cover, for his own secret that was hidden inside, but could he really trust Sirius when, within a few weeks time after Remus confessing Sirius would turn his back away from him?

Remus groaned, maybe he'd wait a while, see if his feelings changed. See if maybe he was serious about him. Though oddly enough he realized he was pretty safe, Sirius had been the one who had went out on a limb and confessed to him, his job was easy, all he had to do was share his feelings. Sirius had taken charge and told him without having that safety net.

Remus grumbled, it wasn't fair really, if he knew and let Sirius wonder like he was. But despite how dirty it made him feel he couldn't help it. Remus had given his heart out to so few people, and the few that were not his friends had always torn it. And with that knowledge how could he trust one of his best friends to step into the territory that always got him hurt?

He felt the sleeping drought that Madam Pomfrey had given him a while go start to slowly take effect, he curled up in his covers and relaxed letting all his inner battles fall to rest. For now he would sleep later he would try and decipher all of this mess he had somehow walked right into.


	30. The Catch

**Getting back into the swing of writing since I was gone was a little hard XD hopefully this is good! Big things are about to happen!**

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><p>Walking around Hogwarts grounds Sirius smiled, January was one of the coldest months in Scotland, so the grounds were always quietest. Glittering in untouched snow and icicles. It had to be one of the most peaceful and beautiful places you could find in the United Kingdom. Or at least that was how he saw it, as he stood up on the top of the hill nearest the stone circle, looking over the frosted pine trees and frozen lake.<p>

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in and looked up at the semi cloudy sky and got lost in his thoughts. Peter's words a few days ago still echoed in his mind, and the fact that Remus still thought it would be a girl that would sweep the old Hogwarts player off of his feet irritated him to no end.

Had he ignored the notes? Thought they were a game? Sirius sighed again, probably, because that's how Remus dealt with things he didn't want to confront. They either were a joke or ignored them completely. He had taken a leap of faith when he wrote the note in the book, he didn't even know if he'd ever read it again. But that was the charm of it. Maybe if he hadn't read it in school, they'd be out, or worse case he'd be dead. Or even worse he might never find it.

Then again it didn't matter, it was out there and if Remus had never found it, then that would have been how it was done. Sirius almost had chickened out when he did it, Sirius was a romantic man. There was no lying there. He'd do just about anything to make a girl swoon for him. Many had told him he could melt the coldest of hearts.

And with that knowledge he had done just that and so much more. Though typically he received a slap at the end of it all, some would come back and thank him.

Would Remus come back and thank him in a while, for fucking him over? He shook his head and looked back over the lay of the land. It was so much freer out here, and just so much more open. His mind had been so full lately. His body almost aching from the unusual amount of stress he had dropped on his body lately.

The whole chase of Remus Lupin had gone horribly really. From the start of the year to now. This had been his longest chase, and he was afraid it was impossible. And his new years resolution of getting over the blonde headed werewolf had already been shattered. How long had it even lasted?

Ten minutes? He wasn't sure anymore. And it wasn't just Remus who he was stressed out over. He'd been watching his brother like a mother hen, every chance the younger Black came into view Sirius would watch him. His brother had seemed to shift in his social behavior lately, doing what seemed like very good pureblooded work.

Even was dating a very wealthy pureblooded girl now. This wouldn't have been bad if Sirius didn't know the shadows of the girl's family. He'd written reports back to his father, because his father had asked him too and every letter he'd get back he could feel his father's worry and pain only rise. He was half afraid to keep telling him, because he might in fact fall over with a heart attack one day.

Another sigh escaped his lips, Sirius watched the smoke slip through his lips and he watched it dance in the air. That was another charm of winter, your breath turned into smoke in the air. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Though Sirius had been known to smoke once upon a time, living on one's own with limited income tended to give up the finer things in life.

And cigarettes were one of those things; of course this hadn't bothered any of the marauders that he quit. Remus had seemed most pleased about it. Of course that didn't surprise him; Remus had hated the habit more than any of them claiming that they bothered his nose.

Though right now, he could use one just to relive the stress. He rubbed his face with his gloved hand as he turned back to the castle. He couldn't take the quite any longer, it had started to whisper. Whisper about him being a coward, sixteen year old Sirius would have walked up to Remus and snogged the boy's brains out.

But that was before he moved out of the Black house, before Reg had burned a fear in himself and his father that burned brighter than the sun. And it had been before he had, had to grow up too fast. Despite his playful persona Sirius Black had grown up into a man. In all of his seventh year he had dated three girls, and neither of them had lasted long, which wasn't odd. But it was the fact it was already the end of January and Sirius Black had been with three girls.

Girls had started to notice and everyone whispered. It wasn't that he hadn't fancied any of them, because that would be a lie. But now after everything he didn't have the patience to run around and play with delicate girls anymore. Plus the ones who were even close to his age he'd either dated or his inner thoughts told him to steer clear.

The urge to try a guy out was a little tempting, but he knew the second he hopped on that train it wouldn't last long because no one could ever beat Remus Lupin.

He hadn't realized where he was walking till he caught a glance at his feet. He sighed as he looked up at the door. He'd steered clear of this room since they had come back to school, all it had done was cause him trouble.

"Of course" he muttered out loud "I'd stumble here when I want to hide from the world" he sighed and pushed the door open. The red silk tarp still covering the mirror. He didn't walk over to it; instead he merely starred at it, replaying his memory of the night he had found Remus there, curled up in the red silk. The night that all of this had started.

The night he had gotten the courage to start and chase Remus Lupin.

"Pads" the voice practically caused Sirius to leap out of his skin.

"Dammit Prongs" Sirius chuckled "Scare the shit out of me" Sirius turned.

"Is that the mirror you told me about?"

"It is" Sirius smiled "Though, I'd steer clear of it, its quite addictive"

"No need to look into it" James put his hands in his pockets. "I already know what I'd see" he smiled "Just like the reason you don't use it is because you know what you'll see"

"At least yours is possible"

James sighed heavily and shrugged "You never know" he walked over and wrapped an arm around Sirius' shoulders "Lily might find someone else and Remus might just come crawling into your arms"

Sirius' snort echoed in the stone room. "Oh yea, and pigs can fly"

"Ever seen those pig statues on the bridge?"

"You're not funny"

"You never stated what kind of pigs they needed to be"

The two boys laughed as James pulled him from the room "All I am saying" James smiled as he shut the door. "Is that maybe you need to just be upfront and ask him out?"

"And what face rejection"

"You've done it for years" James chuckled.

"I'm no where near as strong as you. I couldn't pick up if Remus told me no" Sirius sighed. It was at that moment everything dawned on Sirius.

"WAIT A MINUTE" the black haired boy starred at his companion. "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

James looked at him for a few moments before laughing loudly "OH! I forgot it wasn't you who told me"

"James who knows!"

"Remus" James snorted "Remus told me what you told him over holiday"

"Oh…what did he say about it"

"Nope, I cannot disclose that information"

"You're not a doctor"

"But I am, I am a love doctor"

"And that's why you haven't hooked Evans yet" Sirius grumbled.

"Maybe I have" James winked.

"No" Sirius grinned "Really!"

"Really. Though, she did say there was a catch"

"What's the catch" Sirius grinned "Gotta wear a dress"

"No" James smiled, "Something that is much harder, but I am destined to get it to work. Because a date with Lily is just the extra oomph a boy like I need"

"What is it?"

"I can't tell" James grinned. Little did Sirius know he already knew the answer. Lily had no problem with having James help his friends get them together; of course James never kissed and told. A silly grin slid over the sole Potter heir's face. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I can already tell that it's probably not a good idea"

"OH but Sirius, your gonna love it"


	31. The Question

**Enjoy! Commentary is at the bottom.**

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><p>"Come on ask him already!" James whined as he glared at Sirius from his place in the shower.<p>

"I am not asking Remus out" Sirius growled he was running his fingers through his soapy hair. The marauders had long since gotten over personal space, since they all shared everything nothing was unseen by the marauders.

"Look Pads, the fate of the world rests in your hands you mine as well ask him"

"James" Sirius spat "If you want someone to date Remus so bad why don't YOU ask him out"

"Doesn't work like that mate" James chuckled toothbrush gripped between his teeth, "Besides; you'd just get jealous" he chuckled before he felt water on his back "HEY!"

Sirius laughed in the shower as he grinned innocently at James, it hadn't been him who had just slung water down the head boy's back. "What?"

"That's it I'm gonna fake a note asking him out for you"

"JAMES HAROLD"

"Then apologize"

"Sorry"

"Liar"

"Your right" Sirius grinned. "But seriously, don't…I couldn't take the rejection"

"You sound like a damn bird"

"Sad isn't it"

"Aww is Sirius Black in love"

"Yea…" the response was drawn out and quite followed it. Sirius couldn't help starring at his feet, head hung low. "Yea Prongs I am" his voice was shaky "Never felt this before, this…" he motioned to his whole being "thing that makes me shake inside and makes me dream of forever after" he chuckled "This thing inside that makes me sound like one of those love sick birds you see on TV about happily ever after" he smiled. "I don't…I can't…" he shook his head "He can never know"

James frowned; Sirius didn't understand just what that meant. He almost could feel it. "Ya know" he sat up on the sink, teeth brushed. "I feel the same way about Lily" James started, when Sirius finally looked up at him he continued "Told her for years I was in love with her, and she never listened to me. But as the years went on I felt it grow, from a crush, to a like to a really like and now, as a seventeen almost eighteen year old I realize its been love from the beginning just shifting with my age" he chuckled "Dated all those girls in-between only made it so much stronger" he ran his fingers over the head boy pin on his vest.

"And now" he looked up at Sirius "This feeling that I have, I can't swallow it sometimes. It chokes me all the time, when she walks by and smiles. Or heaven forbid she's talking to me. I have to tell myself to breathe and just, enjoy her presence instead of trying to court her" he smiled "It's hard, ya know" James sighed "to tell someone you love them, when deep down your so scared they are going to turn you away, and never give you a chance to prove it."

Sirius felt his heart agree with James, almost causing a knot to tie itself in his stomach. "And when you give up the chance to even try" James frowned "It's almost like telling yourself you don't care enough to put yourself out there" he looked at Sirius "Like what you feel inside will fade with time, even when you know it never will. Like the person you love isn't worth your sacrifice"

Sirius gulped as he felt his body work on its own as it turned off the water and reached for a towel. "But…you've done it for years, gotten so used to the sting"

"You never get used to it" James frowned "Each time it's like a bull whip across your face, like your being burned alive" James looked at Sirius "But its all worth it, when they finally tell you yes" James smiled "Haven't gotten mine of course, but…the day I do" he smiled a little wider "Will be all the more sweeter, when on that day, she's mine and it was worth all the pain"

"I told him I had a crush on him"

"But you lied" James pointed out "That was a full on lie"

"How would you feel if say…Pete walked up to you and said 'Hey James, I've been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you'"

James chuckled and smiled "I wouldn't be too surprised, especially if he acted the same way you do with Rem" James sighed. "Have some faith"

"He'll say no"

"Then prove to him your worth his time" James turned his heel and smiled "Your turn Pads"

"You're not funny" Sirius grumbled.

"Ahhh, but its true"

When the door closed Sirius starred at his reflection in the mirror, handsome Black features were carved into his very being, one of the few things he inherited from his family. He ran a brush through his little over ear length black hair and starred into the mirror for a few more seconds. Searching his own eyes, looking for answers within his own mind.

"PADFOOT COME ON" with the sound of Remus' voice breeching the door the boy quickly got dressed. How did one ask someone they loved, who just happened to be the same gender, to go out with them and not make a scene?

"COMING" Sirius called back giving himself one last glance in the mirror. He guessed today he'd figure out.

The day flew past; Sirius had been watching the map for over an hour, Remus had had a class more than he did so of course Sirius had began to plot out his question.

He was sprawled out in the Astronomy tower, the map out in front of him. He had been watching Remus' movement since he had perched himself up there. Almost no one came up this high in the tower in the winter, only because it was probably even colder than being outside. So it typically was a safe place for the marauders to hide. And today it was only Sirius who was perched up this high, like an eagle watching its prey he wouldn't let his eyes leave the map.

He watched as he had left his classroom and headed to the library crossing James and Pete on his path there. He wondered what the three had talked about as he watched Remus finally arrive at the library, Sirius grinned as he reached into his bag and pulled out his silver mirror. His finger ran over the cool glass as he chuckled. He'd give Remus enough time to unpack and sit down before he called.

After waiting about five minutes he chuckled; "Remus"

He couldn't hide the grin that slipped on his face "If I didn't know better I swear you were watching me"

"Why on earth would I do that" Sirius chuckled, paying no mind to the Marauders Map that lay out in front of him. "But that's not the point; I need you for a moment"

"And were pray tell are you" Remus asked rubbing the bridge of his nose "I am not helping with any pranks right now"

"Nooo, no" Sirius chuckled "I just…need you" Sirius smiled "Come up here to the Astronomy Tower"

"Why the hell are you up there? It's only like seven degrees outside" Remus exclaimed "Are you crazy"

"I have a cloak on" Sirius chuckled "I'm fine Remus, though…you could get up here and warm me up" he added with a wink.

"Ugh" Remus sighed "Give me a minute" Remus moved his face from the view of the mirror and Sirius grinned ear to ear.

Ten minutes passed by and Sirius was folding the map as Remus walked up the stairs shivering.

"Of course you were watching me" Remus' voice caused Sirius to jump "Seriously, Sirius…what on earth were you watching me for"

"Make yourself all important" Sirius chuckled "I was just bored"

"Mmhmm, that's why you were rushing to put it away" Remus put down his bag and looked at Sirius. "What did you need?"

"Any plans for valentines day"

Remus' heart stopped beating, was Sirius about to ask him out? "Err…"Remus shrugged "Not really"

Sirius felt every inch of his body freeze, almost like he had been stunned. 'Come on Sirius, you can do this, its only Remus' the thought echoed in his mind 'its only Remus' he thought again, clenching and unclenching his hands in his robes he looked up into golden eyes. His heart raced ahead of him, practically leaping off the landing of the tower.

"Well…" Sirius started, trying to make his mouth work as the rest of his words no longer were on the edge of his lips.

"Well" Remus repeated crossing his arms over his chest "I told you I wasn't planning any pranks" though deep down Remus was shaking head to toe, was he about to be asked out?

"Well…" Sirius tried again "I was wondering if…" Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. He was nervous, and he never got nervous, especially when he was asking someone out. No one ever made him as nervous as Remus did.

"Come on Sirius, I have a very important paper due tomorrow morning, I need to revise it" Remus' tone softened "You can tell me anything" Remus crouched down leveling himself with Sirius "What is it"

"Do you want to go out with me" Sirius sputtered out, his eyes were wide with fear "I mean…"

"What" Remus started

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><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED! Because I am a horrible bugger like that! Tune in tomorrow for the next piece!<strong>


	32. The Question pt 2

**Was it mean of me to leave you guys hanging yesterday? Sorry I just had to! Your lucky I didn't blast them back to past memories THEN give you the rest because that was a huge temptation XD**

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><p>Remus starred at Sirius, his heart hammering in his chest. He almost could not breathe. His hands shook at his sides.<p>

"Excuse me" he whispered again moving closer to Sirius, so his hearing would not fail him.

"I asked if you wanted to go out" Sirius whispered almost unable to be heard. However, to the wolf's hearing it was clear as a bell. Remus felt himself fall back and stare at the black haired boy.

"I know it's weird," Sirius continued on, unable to meet the wolf's gaze. "But…I…" Sirius stopped, Remus could smell the fear the poured off the older boy. "Nevermind…your not gay…so"

"Wait a minute" Remus grabbed his arm holding him still. "Now…I never got to answer"

"I don't think I can take your answer"

"You can't take a yes," Remus asked, his words had escaped him before he could even think them through. Sirius rounded on him, silver eyes starring into gold.

"Don't joke" Sirius breathed, their breaths came out of their noses like smoke as the two held the moment, almost frozen in time.

"I'm not" Remus' nervous voice slipped between his lips "I'd never joke like that" he breathed, his hand holding Sirius' arm never let go as Sirius stared at him.

"P-promise"

"Solemnly Swear" Remus smiled and pulled Sirius back to him. "When and where are we going" Remus couldn't help the butterflies that bubbled out of his mouth as Sirius practically fell as he pulled him, his legs practically giving out.

"V-valentines day" Sirius whispered, his voice shaking "I-I figured…"

"You don't have plans" Remus chuckled. Sirius shook his head, "Didn't think I'd say yes" Remus smiled, as Sirius nodded.

At the moment, Remus didn't care if he had just let himself fall into the one place he knew he was bound to get hurt. Because right now, having Sirius stare at him almost breathless and the happiness in his eyes was nearly enough to cause him to tell him all his secrets.

The two of them sat there for a little while silent as the grave, before they both started to laugh, leaning against one another. Like the two had had a secret conversation. When the laughing subsided, the two looked at each other.

"You were serious right" Remus looked at Sirius "About going out"

"Very" Sirius smiled "I told you I had a crush on you…you should know what comes next"

Remus nodded, a lump formed in his gut 'oh please don't let me be a new flavor' he thought as Sirius stood up and held out his hand. "Well wait to tell Pete…he's"

"I know" Remus started "I understand…we won't tell him till this gets real serious"

Sirius nodded and chuckled, he was still full of nervous butterflies. But to have Remus smile at him like that, only meant good things. He took Remus' hand and squeezed it. "Rem…I promise I won't hurt you," he whispered.

Remus nodded "Same as I" he smiled. However, half of him didn't believe the words that came out of his friend's mouth. Were they still friends until after the date?

"Moony I mean…" he stopped "Nevermind" Sirius chuckled, "Don't worry about it"

"About what, cause if your gonna call off thi-"

"NO! I just…was getting ahead of myself" Sirius chuckled "Date is defiantly still on" he smiled. "So no getting out of it for you mister"

Remus smiled, he couldn't help the stupid grin on his face as Sirius laced their fingers together. Despite the draft that wrapped around the two boys up in the astronomy tower, at the moment this close to Sirius breathing the same air it was the warmest and safest place he could be. He leaned forward, his body acting all on its own as he pressed his lips against Sirius'.

Nothing tasted as sweet as his mouth; Remus couldn't hold back the groan that bubbled up his throat. He felt arms wrap around him. Was this all real? Had Sirius really asked him out and he agreed? Where they now kissing right there in the astronomy tower?

All of his questions were answered when Sirius pulled away from him "Haven't even went on our date and your already kissing me"

"We've kissed more than once"

"So? You started all of them"

"Then why was that one different"

"Just felt different is all" Sirius smiled and bushed a few stray hairs out of Remus' face. "I liked it"

"I always like it" Remus winked and pulled away from Sirius only to come back when Sirius whimpered.

"So do I" he pouted, locking his arms around Remus "But…just it felt different like you were mine" Sirius whispered as he rested his head on Remus' shoulder. The two weren't very different in size. Remus was a tad bit taller, but Sirius was much broader, more man shaped, while Remus was more athletically shaped.

"This isn't weird to you," Remus finally asked as they stood there against one another. "Dating a guy"

"Just another adventure" Sirius chuckled "What about you"

"Seeing as I can count the amount of girls I've dated on one hand its not much different" Remus grinned as Sirius' laughter poured out of his mouth, Remus grinned wider as he felt Sirius' forehead rest against his shoulder.

"Moony, sometimes you're hilarious"

"You've rubbed off on me" another fit of laughter came from Sirius.

That night when Remus Lupin couldn't get himself to fall asleep he stared up at his four-poster beds curtained top and sighed. He had agreed to date Sirius; the day was only a few days away. He could feel the fear now, now that the excitement had worn off.

What if in the end he wasn't what Sirius wanted? What if this was all a new thing to try and Sirius realized he was not a gay or even bi man? What if when this was all over he couldn't look at Remus in the eye? What if his selfishness destroyed everything the marauders were?

He rubbed his face and rolled on his side, back facing Sirius. He couldn't even look in the boys' direction at the moment. For fear of losing something, he loved dearly. He sighed again and closed his eyes, begging sleep to come to him so his brain would be quiet if only for a few hours.

However, it never came; instead, he sat there, imagining all of the ways Sirius would walk away. That this thing that was now present in his life, the thing he had wanted most, was now his worst fear. How could someone you love so much scare you like this?

He laid there for hours, until his mind finally started to fall asleep. It finally ran out of things to tease him about. And as he laid there curled up in his covers, he closed his eyes, and he was met with silver orbs so full of happiness and laughter, a smile slid on his lips. Maybe this would be worth the pain.


	33. Valentine's Day

**And since I was so cruel yesterday I'll give you the beginning of Wolfstar ;) Enjoy lovelies, who knows how long happiness lasts.**

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><p>Valentines' morning was never as stressful as it was today. Remus' palms sweat as he pulled his shirt over his shoulders. He had decided to dress a little fancy, just something that wasn't a tee shirt and jeans. He started to button up the buttons on his dark navy blue shirt.<p>

After the second time buttoning it he had finally not missed a single button and they all were in the right holes. He looked at himself in the floor length mirror in the bathroom, and gave a heavy sigh. He had to treat this like a normal day until he and Sirius were away from everyone. Only then could they act like a couple.

It twisted his gut in guilt as he thought about the two of them basically dancing around the truth with the marauders. Though both of them had figured out James already knew that they were going out on a date. He had been acting funny; then again no one figured James would act right when Lily Evans after seven years had finally given into him and decided to go out with him.

Half of the school was buzzing about the newest Hogwarts sweethearts. Half of those who talked about it teased that in four months after graduation they'd be getting wedding invitations.

At breakfast that morning James was a jittery mess, constantly fumbling his words. Sirius couldn't stop laughing at their normally very relaxed friend, but Remus figured half of his laughter might have been from his own jitters. Peter had been eying the three boys all breakfast, and by the end claimed he was staying behind to finish a paper.

Remus couldn't have hidden the grin on his face if he tried, and when he looked at Sirius, the grin on his face was almost identical to his own. No one would be with them all day, no reason to hide or anything. James would run of with Lily the second she was in sight and then…it'd be just the two of them.

"Moony come on" Sirius called, James had long since ditched them as they walked through Hogsmeade. "Let's get away from this crowd"

"It's Valentine's day I doubt we'll be able to get away from anyone"

"You doubt our marauder instincts?" Sirius questioned grinning ear to ear.

"Well no, it's just…I know people want privacy"

"Isn't that exactly what were after" Sirius reached over and took Remus' hand in his. "I mean besides were dating and don't want the world to know it yet"

"Then why did you just take my hand" Remus whispered, butterflies forming inside his stomach as he starred at his black haired companion.

"Because I damn well wanted too" Sirius chuckled "Besides if anyone asks were charmed this way"

"Fantastic" Remus grumbled, though he had to admit it was a clever idea. It just sucked that they had to hide it.

"Don't worry Moon" Sirius smiled pulling Remus closer "We won't have to lie long"

Remus felt his head spin as Sirius whispered in his ear. His breath hot against his ear and lower part of his neck. He gulped and looked at Sirius who grinned. His heart was racing in his chest as he smiled. "Sounds good"

The two walked hand in hand wherever the path lead them. Just walking and enjoying one another's company, since they both knew each other inside and out there wasn't much to talk about. Which eased Remus' nerves immensely, his hand was so relaxed in Sirius' he almost forgot they were holding hands.

The gentle tug of spring was pulling at their sweatshirts as the walked along. It was a beautiful path Sirius had picked for the two of them to take, winding through the woods of Hogsmeade. Snow still covered the ground but the echo of soft plops from melting snow and ice from the trees made the forest seem almost unreal.

The soft crunch of snow and their breathing were the only other sounds in the woods. Birds sang their songs as they walked. It was just magic.

"Remus"

With the quiet shattered Remus looked back at Sirius "hmm"

"Have you ever been in love before" Sirius looked at him, eyes full of confusing things. Remus couldn't read them clearly as he looked into them.

"Well…" Remus shrugged "I mean…what do you mean"

"I mean have you ever been in love…like…loved someone with your heart and soul" Sirius asked. "I guess…just…" Sirius shrugged "I don't know where it came from I was just curious"

Remus almost felt like that was a lie but he shrugged it off "No I don't believe I have, or if I have I didn't know it was love" Remus chuckled softly, he was practically lying through his teeth but there was no way he was going to let Sirius know that he had in fact been in love, and still was and it was with the same man who was now starring at him.

"Really"

The question had shocked Remus "What do you mean really"

"You mean you've never loved anyone, at all"

"Well my parents and you guys but…that's not what you're talking about is it"

It was almost like the answer wounded Sirius as he gave a heavy sigh. "No that's not what I meant, like" Sirius stopped and leaned against a tree. "Like the love people write books about, conquer worlds for, ya know"

"You mean 'true love'" Remus quoted "You mean the stuff you told me in second year didn't exist" Remus crossed his arms over his chest. He could remember the memory clearly.

"Well…yea, that kind of love"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because…well I don't know its Valentine's Day and that's what everyone is talking about, trying to make conversation"

"Mmhmm…well have you"

"Me" Sirius pointed to himself as he chuckled "I'm not so sure, that's why I asked you"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Well I've never experienced it" Remus held his hand back out, realizing Sirius had let go to move away from him. "Come on, let's keep walking"

Sirius snatched his hand and grinned. "As you wish darling"

Remus shouldn't have let the word get to him, shouldn't have let himself grin at the pet name. Shouldn't have blushed, but he didn't stop himself. Instead he enjoyed it as they walked on; heading back to Hogsmeade, nothing in his mind was going to dampen this day.

No one or nothing was going to turn this dream into a nightmare.

When returning to Hogsmeade the two boys snuck into the three broomsticks and sat at a seat in the back of the room. Madam Rosmerta walked up to the two boys and smiled at them.

"Well look here, its Hogwarts' playboy and he's all alone for Valentines' day" she tsked "How many ladies turned you away Sirius" she chuckled ruffling the boy's hair from behind,

"Not a one" Sirius grinned "Got my date right here" he wrapped his arm around Remus' shoulder.

"Now when I was in school we never dated our friends"

"He's a damn good kisser" Sirius smirked. Rosmerta looked Remus over, not that she had never seen him before. No it was quite the opposite she was very used to seeing them.

"See I wouldn't doubt that. It's a pity you two are together"

"Aww don't be disappointed, Dad's still lonely" Sirius snorted as she rolled her eyes.

"You tell that horrible man you have for a father he needs to come see me if he wants me around so bad" she placed two butterbeers on the table. "And tell him I'm very serious"

"Will do love" Sirius smiled.

The two watched her walk away. "The fact you were comfortable just outing us like that makes me a little nervous"

"Why dearest Moony" Sirius took a drink of his butterbeer looking over at Remus "What are you gonna do when I start kissing you in public"

"Depends" Remus smiled taking a drink of his drink "Wait…we didn't order these"

"You know Rosmerta; if she catches us she spoils us"

"Because she has a thing for your father"

"No" Sirius snorted "But they did know each other in school, so then again that might not surprise me"

Remus rolled his eyes, but the smile never left his face. "Course"

The rest of the day went off without a hitch as the two boys spent it together. Their first date a full on success as the two never left the others side for less than a matter of moments. The two were nearly inseparable even after they got back and after dinner they never left Remus' bed. Which had the two hidden behind the red curtains.

James hadn't even come back to the marauders he was still with Lily for all Sirius and Remus knew. And Peter had gone to bed early that night, complaining that he was stick of the lovey doveiness going around. So it only left Remus and Sirius to their own.

"Padfoot that's cheating" Remus laughed as he swatted at Sirius' hand that had ventured up his thigh. "You can't distract me that way" he laughed.

"And why not, where in the rules of wizard's chess does it say you cannot fondle your opponent" Sirius asked "I never learned that rule"

"They made it a rule the day you were born, they knew it was coming"

"That's cruel" Sirius moved his knight as it sliced Remus' last pawn in half. "I think my next goal is to get your king"

"And what happens when you win"

"I think I'm going to come across this chessboard and snog you senseless"

Remus' gulp didn't go unheard as his mind suddenly went fuzzy, and he knew the game would be over soon. Four moves later it was over and Sirius had him pinned against the bed, their lips locked in a hot and heavy kiss.

The two boys were locked in each others arms groaning and panting against the others lips as teeth, lips, and tongues clashed.

"S-Sirius" Remus panted as Sirius finally pulled away giving the two much needed air.

"Yea" Sirius panted.

"You're a damn good kisser"

"Years of practice" Sirius chuckled as he rolled over and pulled Remus in his arms.

"I think were moving to fast" Remus finally whispered as he looked up at Sirius.

"Eh, we're ok Rem. It's our first date they always are a little hot and heavy"

Remus chuckled and shook his head; there was no arguing with him. "But" Sirius smiled "I can take it slower if you want, I don't want to ruin this" he looked down at him; sincerity was clear in his eyes.

Remus gulped as he starred into the silver that burned him. "I'd like that" Remus whispered his throat dry.

"Then your wish is my command" Sirius smiled, "does that mean your going to kick me out of your bed"

"Sadly I have to say yes that's what it means"

"Can I lay here till you fall asleep?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way"

It was simple to say Sirius never made it to his bed that night.


	34. Just Another Day

**I feel like this story is dragging on, it is isn't it? XD Hopefully I can figure out something to spice it up. But we only have three or so months left till the end of their year so...shouldn't be much to longer. Hopefully you guys can hang on and keep reading it. Thank you to all of you who have read this much so far. Means alot.**

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><p>It was three weeks after Valentines Day, and James couldn't have been a happier man. He was leaning against the Marauders' tree, with Lily leaning against them lost in her transfigurations book. The sound of her reading and writing down notes from the chapter was relaxing. Hands behind his head and eyes closed he just enjoyed the oddly warm day for being a little under a month before spring. The snow was long gone and the warm spring air was just itching to come back.<p>

"James"

"Hmm"

"What are you thinking about" Lily asked looking up at him, he opened an eye and smiled at her.

"Everything" he grinned removing one arm from behind his head and wrapping it around her waist. "Why do you ask?"

"Just you're very…quiet"

"You're studying"

"Never stopped you before" Lily smiled and leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his jaw. The two hadn't shared their first kiss yet, but nothing stopped them from kissing one another's cheeks or foreheads.

"This is true" James chuckled "I guess the world despite everything going on in the real world is finally falling into place here."

"Which relationship are you speaking about" Lily teased, it was no secret to the two that Sirius and Remus were dating. Of course that had been the catch to Lily dating James. At first James had felt like it had been a trick for her to get out of it. But after having a conversation with her after the date he realized that it had only been for him to have an extra push to help his friends. Which she knew would help him. And it had, all of his secret pushing of the two had done nearly nothing so it was up to Lily to help James give them both a firm push in the right direction. But what James didn't know is even if it hadn't worked she would have easily gone out with him.

"Both of them" James chuckled. "Never seen either of them so happy"

"Let's hope Peter doesn't catch wind of it yet" Lily sighed "No idea why it would bother him"

"Not everyone is as easy going as us" James sighed "Unfortunately for them, it's the sad truth"

"Yes" Lily leaned into him and sighed. "Have you thought of any ways to get him to at least deal with it, it's terrible the two of them have to run off and hide"

"Pete will deal with it with time, when he realizes it won't go away he'll suck it up"

"And if he doesn't"

"Isn't worth our time" James' flat tone caused Lily to look straight at him "I'm serious, if he can't accept them for who they are then who am I to punish them when I have no problem with it"

Lily searched his face "You need to tell them that" she smiled. "Because I think right now they both need to hear it"

"Sirius already knows it" James chuckled "And I'm sure so does Remus, I think its Pete who has them both ducking into any small space they can hide"

"Terrible they have to do it" she repeated and sighed.

"I know Lils, give it time and it'll eventually drive them both crazy…well at least Sirius. He couldn't hide anything for too long if his life depended on it"

"Even if he had to hide himself" Lily laughed.

"Especially if he had to hide himself"

Meanwhile, in the library Remus was curled up in one of the window sills of the library reading. Far off in the back of the library where no one really came with Sirius' head between his legs resting on his chest, eyes closed and fast asleep.

Remus was used to the position Sirius was in, even before the two were dating it was just one of the things the two canines did. It was just how their relationship had always worked. Always leaning against one another, it was the others job to be their comfort and shoulder.

Despite Sirius and James' close relationship there were certain boundaries the two never crossed with the other, of course they weren't many and in extreme cases of a need for that from the other the two quickly threw the boundaries aside and was whatever the other needed.

But even from the start Remus had never been able to tell Sirius no, and if Sirius needed him for his personal pillow and heater he didn't honestly care. Because the favor was always returned.

Remus had gotten caught up in his book and hadn't realized his fingers were running through the raven colored locks, he smiled when he looked down and noticed Sirius was sound asleep, his breathing slow and steady. Nothing was better than moments like this, when they just were.

It was moments like this that came in the nick of time to save you from going insane. And this one had come when he needed it most. Today had been stressful, teachers had already started their reviews for the N.E. it was a stress for the werewolf. His scores weighed heavily on his shoulders. It wasn't as easy as a trip as the rest of Hogwarts had, because of his condition if he could prove his smarts he might be able to skid a job or two.

He rubbed his forehead as he starred at the book in front of him. Why had he continued on with Divinations? As much as he enjoyed the class, he hated reviewing for it.

He leaped out of his skin as the book shut right in front of him. "Moony" came a groggy voice. "Stop reading for a moment and just relax, we have what three months" Sirius snuggled closer "So just enjoy this comfortable position and relax"

"Who says it's comfortable for me" Remus chuckled running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

"I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't" Sirius looked up at smiled, his smile grew wider when he noticed the smile on Remus' lips "There we are, finally a proper smile"

"How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to watch your handsome face twist into frustration"

Remus laughed as he shook his head "Where would I be without you"

"Single" Sirius laughed and snuggled back against the thinner man and closed his eyes again "Maybe more sane"

"You do tend to drive me crazy"

"You like it" Sirius purred.

"A little too much" Remus muttered though he smiled as Sirius looked up at him.

"And how do I drive you crazy" Sirius rose up and looked him over.

"Do you own a mirror" Remus laughed.

"I do" Sirius grinned.

"Then that's one of the many ways you drive me crazy"

"I'd like to hear more ways I drive you crazy" Sirius looked at Remus now sitting up eye level with the wolf.

"Ahhh but dear Sirius" Remus leaned forward and put his forehead against Sirius' "If I was to tell you everything right now, there would be no mystery"

"You're a horrible human being" Sirius chuckled and placed a feather light kiss against Remus' lips. "Sadly I like you too much to leave"

"That a damn good thing" Remus laughed and sighed. "Now can I have my book back?"

"Never"


	35. Happy Birthday Moony

**Really short chapter! I'm sorry guys, my drive died about half way through this chapter...mostly because the idea for the next chapter hit me as I was writing this one...so yea...sorry. If it seems rushed and just ended...thats because it was. Tomorrow will be better I promise.**

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><p>Remus woke up with a jolt as a wet tongue raced across his face. Starring up at a large black dog was not something anyone got used to. The bark that came from the friendly canine only caused him to jump as sleep was still keeping its hold on him. Another bark and a shove later Remus was grumbling as he crawled out of bed.<p>

"Is that any way to treat your boyfriend" James teased from his bed "If Lily was to crawl in bed with me on my birthday I think I'd never leave"

"Your girlfriend didn't just jar you from sleep by barking"

"HEY! That was after I gave you good morning kisses" Sirius hissed from his place on the floor, he hadn't moved since Remus had shoved him out of his bed. "And you could have broke my tail, then what would you have done"

"At least then I would have gotten revenge"

"Ohhh looks like someone is grumpy today" James teased "Seems he doesn't want his presents"

At the mention of presents Remus looked at James. "Ohh…I get presents"

"He acts like we never buy him anything" James laughed looking at Sirius "Course this year I think Sirius' are more physical" James winked as he rolled off of his stomach and stood stretching. He grinned as he watched Remus' cheeks turn red. "Aww look it how shy he is!" James chuckled.

"Leave him be Prongs" Sirius walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist "It's not his fault he hasn't been deflowered"

"Shut up Padfoot" Remus hissed before turning his head "And give me a proper birthday kiss you horrible mutt"

Sirius happily obliged as he placed a sloppy kiss against Remus' lips. "I think were very lucky James is a very understanding person"

"Hey if you wanna date Moon who am I to stop you, leaves all the ladies for me"

"Except your so taken you can't see any other women around you"

"And I am damn proud of it" James grinned. Causing the three to laugh, but as the dormitory door opened Sirius quickly retreated away from Remus, the two boys looking less happy than they had a few moments ago. Peter walked in smiling.

"Happy Birthday Rem" Peter smiled.

"Thanks Pete" Remus smiled. "Any plans today" Remus reached into his trunk and pulled out a fresh seat of clothes, smiling as he looked down at the brass mirror that lay at the top of his trunk. Just a glance at the object caused butterflies in his stomach.

Sirius had long since told him the night he gave it to him that he had watched him, and he had indeed told him happy Christmas and he hadn't been dreaming.

"I figured on a run to Hogsmeade to stock up on chocolate" Sirius chuckled "Well candy for the rest of us, but chocolate for you"

"Is that my birthday present" Remus chuckled.

"No" Sirius smiled "There's more, but…we gotta keep you guessing" he grinned a secret grin. Remus felt his knees go weak at the look in his secret boyfriend's eyes. And his heart raced forward as he stood there. "It's hard to surprise you anymore" he chuckled "Right guys"

"Right" James and Peter chorused.

"So go ahead and get in the shower" James chuckled, "Both you and Sirius, since the lazy dog hasn't even thought about it yet"

Sirius grinned as he crossed the space between where he was on the floor and to the bathroom. Peter had his back turned and missed the wink that James sent Remus. Remus knew he was walking into the lions den when the bathroom door shut behind him.

And he was right; soon he was greeted with a hungry mouth, as it engulfed his own. He groaned as he reached for the warm body in front of him, his hands ran greedily over the chest in front of him, causing Sirius to groan and suck on his bottom lip.

"Remus" Sirius breathed against his mouth.

"Shut up and kiss me" Remus hissed as the two went another round of breathless kisses, how the two had traveled to the shower neither of them would know, or how they both were undressed. But it happened and when the warm water poured over them they both hissed with the contact before returning to devouring the other.

It didn't go much farther because just as things got hot there came a knock on the door and Peter's voice calling them to hurry up.

Pulling apart Sirius chuckled and ran kisses down Remus' jaw "Can't wait till we can finally be rid of keeping secrets"

"Same here" Remus breathed in his ear as the two exited the shower.

The whole day the two boys were dying to be against the other, it was hard to keep them from reaching for each others hand or giving the other a simple kiss. The new couples drive still heavy in their faces, the urges to be near another to touch and breathe one another still heavy on their minds.

After returning from Hogsmeade, and dinner the four boys and presents were handed out, everyone headed to bed. At least that had been Remus' plan till he came back from the bathroom and came back to find Sirius in his bed.

"No"

"Come on it's your birthday! No one is gonna know"

"Your lucky I'm too tired to fight you" Remus curled up beside him. "And your lucky I don't mind sharing" he snuggled close to him.


	36. When it Breaks

**I've always wondered why none of the marauders had issues with Sirius/Remus stuff. Really I did, I've always figured they were lucky guys but I don't think they'd be that lucky. Esspically when the top player of Hogwarts (Sirius) turns out to like guys as well. So...here's my twist XD**

**Oh by the way, I have thought of writing a After Hogwarts fanfic following this story line, its much more planned out then this one. And with this one coming to a close soon, maybe seven or so chapters left. I wanted to know if you guys wanted me to write it or if you'd rather it end here. I have the story split into three parts. 7th Year Hogwarts (what your reading), Before Azakaban, and Till Death. BUT I'll leave it up to you guys if I write/post them. If not then well thats cool, I totally understand. Just leave a review telling me yes or no.**

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><p>"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON PRONGS" Sirius woke with a jolt as he heard shouting in their dorm. Peter's voice still echoing off the wall. He felt Remus stir beside him; he reached down and stroked his hair trying to get him to relax.<p>

"Peter shhh, let me explain"

"Are they fucking dating?"

"What does it matter?"

"THAT'S DISGUESTING" he had roared, Sirius felt his whole body go numb. Peter never really spoke out against the marauders; he always followed them and would give his opinion but never said things against them. And here he was, bashing the one thing that meant the most to Sirius.

"No its not, so they like one another what's the big deal" Sirius could hear James cross his arms over his chest. Thank Merlin someone was on their side.

"They are two guys, that's…wait how long have you known"

"Its quite obvious really, they didn't have to tell me"

"And your OK with this?" Peter snapped.

"Of course I am, their happy why the hell should I not be ok with this"

"THEY'RE GAY!" he shouted. He had finally succeeded in waking Remus, who now was looking up at Sirius.

"I told you to sleep in your own damn bed" Remus hissed, his voice full of ice. Sirius felt himself gulp as he looked down.

"Remus I'm sorry"

"Look…you might be ok with this" Peter started "But I'm not, and I won't put up with it" Sirius heard him walk over to Remus' head. Sirius had his wand; he hadn't even realized he had reached for it. But it was gripped tightly in his hand, his knuckles white from his grip. When the curtains were flung open Peter was met with the darkest look Sirius could ever give anyone.

"If you have a problem" his voice was so cold you could feel the chill from them. "I suggest you talk to me about it, instead of shouting at James" he growled, voice full of gravel.

"You two are sick" Peter spat.

Remus was in the middle of what he felt like was the darkest feud between the marauders. And there had been many nasty fights between the four boys. His eyes darted back and froth, but when he heard Sirius' animalistic growl escape. "Sirius"

"No let him" Peter chuckled "The whole school is talking about it, apparently everyone else has it figured out"

"Good I don't have to hide it anymore" Sirius stood up, "And if anyone has a problem with them then all the need to do is come to me about it"

"And what about Remus, hmm" Peter crossed his arms over his chest "What sort of love potion did you slip him"

"Excuse me" the fire in Sirius' voice could have melted metal. "You think he's under a POTION"

"He'd need to be to be with you, especially if it's going to make his life even harder"

No one had time to grab Sirius before the man was on top of Peter giving him a what for. It took both Remus and James pulling at him to finally get him away from a very bruised and broken Peter. Sirius' only wound was a busted lip. Peter meanwhile had two black eyes a swollen top lip and a busted bottom lip broken nose and probably a broken arm.

Sirius shook with rage, raw and very real. No one had seen the eldest Black so angry, so fierce.

"Keep your pet on a damn leash Remus" Peter spat "Because if you don't it'll get him hurt"

"And what are you going to do to him" Remus growled, anger bubbled up. "Just try it"

"Calm down" James stood between the two parties "Look…Peter this is a very real thing, and if you can't handle it…well I'm not going to stop them from being happy. It won't happen. Either you need to deal with it…"

"Or what" Peter spat "Leave the marauders, not like any of you would care"

"Oh look Pete's gonna cry" Sirius spat wiping his bloody lip on a napkin Remus had handed him "He's gotta make it all about him"

"Oh shove off Black" Peter growled "Its you who's always fucking up this friendship, with all of your mistakes"

Sirius starred at Peter, unable to react due to the now very tight grip on his arms. Remus' grip would defiantly leave bruises on his forearms from how tight he was squeezing.

"Get out" Remus whispered. "If you're going to react like this, get out"

"Who are you to?"

"I SAID GET OUT" Remus' voice roared through the dormitory causing the three boys to flinch. The wolf under his skin growled and raged begging to rip the shorter boy to shreds. "Before I lose control of my temper"

"Fine, and until you two stop being faggots you can consider me gone"

"Then get gone" James spat "And the next time you dare call them that I'll give you a good what's for"

The dorm door opened and slammed shut and the three boys stood there. The three of them furious and shaking with anger. Eventually the room cooled down and the three of them sat away from one another, too afraid their own raging tempers might hurt the other.

The room stayed silent for hours, the three of them sitting there.

When the door creaked open they all three glared at the door.

"Am I interrupting something" Lily whispered as she held a bag "None of you came to lunch and Peter said-" she stopped at the sound of a growl, Sirius was curled up in his bed the mere mention of Peter's name causing his blood to boil.

"It's ok Lily" James sighed. "Peter knows…it wasn't pretty"

"That would explain a lot" Lily sighed opening the bag and handing the three of them something to eat. "Eat, you need it, all of you look peakish"

"It's just the anger draining" Remus' voice was flat "That's all"

"So…where does that leave the marauders?"

"Needing a new recruit" Sirius looked at Lily "Wanna join"

Remus and James looked at him; Lily looked between the three boys emerald eyes wide.

"I'm serious; if he comes back I can't promise I'll ever be able to control myself"

"If he comes around you'll find a way" James sighed, mouth full of a sandwich. "He's just a little shocked, I mean…it is quite different" James chuckled "Not that it's bad, just…well you know your past Sirius. It just is a shock"

"Yea, yea" Sirius grumbled "That's what everyone says to me. Ya know…people make mistakes. Besides we can fucking change"

"Easy Sirius" Remus walked over and sat on his bed. "Just…calm down" he ran his fingers through his hair.

"The whole school knows" Lily sighed "And they are torn down the middle" she sat on James' bed and rubbed his back. "Most of them are fine with it…but it just gave more ammunition for Slytherin"

At the mention of Slytherin Sirius head turned looking at Lily, he hadn't even thought about what his decision might do for Regulus.

"Have they…"

"Wouldn't dare" Lily finished already knowing "I think if at most they tried I think Regulus is in the right mood today to tear them all a new one"

"Why do you say that" Remus asked.

"Peter made a mistake to cross the youngest Black about his older brother"

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love him" Sirius laughed loudly leaning against Remus. "I need to send him a thank you card"

The four of them laughed and all of them eventually ended up on one bed, lost in conversation. Though as much as Sirius and Remus tried they couldn't get this morning out of their heads. Hopefully it would blow over in a few days and the event would pass. But in the back of Sirius' mind, he knew it wouldn't be over quickly. The past few weeks had gone by so sweetly that he had sensed for a while that it was all about to fall underneath him.


	37. Despite it All

**Last chapter of the day, enjoy :D**

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><p>Monday morning had been rough on Sirius and Remus, marauder status or not, nothing saved anyone from something like being gay. Either people accepted it and carried on, continuing to respect the two boys as marauders and normal people.<p>

Or they didn't…and you were nothing more than dirt. Despite the hexes Sirius had thrown all morning he still remained detention free. Of course it was either because teachers turned a blind eye or they just hadn't seen it. And Heaven forbid someone says something about Remus in front of him, the punishment was never light.

He looked back at the note that Remus had slipped him in Transfigurations.

_Meet me in the mirror room after CoMC_

_~Moony_

It had been simple but it didn't keep the fear of what it had meant out of Sirius' mind. Remus for the past few days had been distant, after Peter's outburst and separation of the marauders it was almost like the group was again at war with one of their own. And Remus never shorted anything, especially like that, whatever it was, was serious.

Of course this time, it was deserved, it wasn't like Remus or James hadn't tried to talk with him since his outburst. But after being called more names Remus had eventually sided with Sirius and had given up on Peter.

James on the other hand kept trying, trying to mend the group. But Peter wouldn't budge, and it was almost like he liked it being on his own.

As the door was pushed open Sirius slipped inside and shut the door behind him. With the sound of the door shutting behind him he knew he was locked in.

"You're late"

"Sorry, a few fourth years decided it was a smart idea to cross me" Sirius chuckled.

"It's not funny" Remus finally turned to face him the tarp was off the mirror and Remus had been looking into it. "Were destroying the marauders, you know"

"No, Peter is" Sirius rushed to Remus' side. Afraid he was going to be told that it wasn't worth it. "We've done nothing wrong"

"Yes we have" Remus pulled away from him. "This is our fault, we should…we should have ignored it" he turned away. "He's right you know"

"Remus stop this…please…don't do this to me"

"TO YOU!" Remus spat. "Don't do this to you!"

Sirius flinched back as he starred into the wolf's eyes. Here it comes…here comes goodbye.

"I can't believe how selfish you can be, do you realize that once it gets out how hard it will be for me in life, eh? Not only am I a werewolf but now I'm gay too…what the fuck am I supposed to do now"

"I'm here I-"

"You what, can take care of me" Remus scoffed "And what happens when your done with me" he stood up "Huh?" Sirius starred at him "What comes of me when you're done with my flavor"

Sirius felt himself gulp, he reached for Remus. He couldn't bare to listen to Remus talk like that; it hurt too much to even think of being without him.

"No keep off of me" he pulled away completely and looked in the mirror "We can't have what we see" he finally whispered "We can't have us…it just…it won't last"

"Who says" Sirius asked his voice as quiet as a mouse. "Who says this won't work…my past?" he asked.

Remus didn't look at him, he felt his anger subside he felt guilt bubble up. Sirius had never judged him on his past, or anyone else for that matter. And as a marauder it was a secret, unspoken rule that none of them judged the other on past decisions or on their pasts in general.

"Do you really think I'd take a chance on damaging your reputation without making sure this was what I wanted? To hell with what people think of me, they already think I'm bat shit crazy, but you…Remus…you have everything. And I never ever would have made the steps I did if I hadn't believed this was real"

At his words Remus turned and faced him "What are you saying" he wanted him to say it, those three words that would chase away his fears. But he didn't want him to say it because it was what he wanted; he wanted him to mean them. To really mean them.

Sirius looked at the mirror then back to Remus his hands were shaking "I'm saying…" he stopped and took a deep breath "I'm saying I love you" his voice shook with uncertainty "I'm saying this right here" he motioned between the two of them "This relationship…as scary and unnerving as it is for me…is the best thing I've ever had" he reached out for Remus. "This is all I ever will need" he pointed to the mirror "It says your hearts desire…does that not mean that I want this for forever"

Remus starred at the mirror which right now reflected the two of them, in each others arms and happy. He felt tears prick his eyes and when he looked back at Sirius he could see tears in his eyes. "Sirius I…"

"You don't have to say it if your not ready…that's not what I want." he smiled "I just want you to know I never would have asked you out, never would have taken this relationship this far…if I didn't think this was for real, if this wasn't what I wanted" he looked him over "You were never a flavor Remus…your much more than that…so much more"

Remus felt all of his fear vanish, all of his worry and doubt fade away as he let himself fall into Sirius and hid his face. To breathe in his scent. "I love you Remus Lupin" Sirius whispered burring his face into Remus' sandy blonde hair. "I have for about three years now, and cared about you even longer. I just…was so scared that this would fade…that I never told you, because I never wanted to hurt you"

Remus felt tears trickle down his face. "I love you too Sirius" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around Sirius. The two held each other for a while, not able to let go. Not able to really look one another in the eye for the fear of seeing the other had lied. The two were terrified of each other, terrified of what they would see.

When they eventually pulled away they starred into each others eyes for a long while, reading every nook and cranny of the others eyes. They say eyes are the door to the soul, and if they were the two wanted the door to be wide open and to be able to see it all.

Sirius finally smiled and pressed a kiss against Remus' nose. "My handsome man"

Remus smiled and shook his head "you think so"

"I know so, wouldn't date you if you weren't so damn handsome"

"Romantic moment ruined" Remus stood up and held out his hand "Come on Casanova" Sirius grinned up at him and took his hands and stood up.

"You love it" Sirius chuckled.

"More than I should" with a flick of Remus' wand the tarp was back over the mirror "We should show James this mirror"

"We should, it'd only be fair" the door closed behind them, agreeing that once everything was settled they would show James. But until then they wouldn't return, because nothing beat the real thing.


	38. Grey Hair

**This is the kind of chapter that happens when you write ahead and end up skipping a chapter because you have no muse XD. Don't worry though its not a crappy chapter. And why did I skip around with chapters you ask? Well really because I had other ideas that just didn't work out (this chapter mainly) so I ended up scrapping it and writing what came to me (future chapters...like tomorrow's chapter XD)**

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><p>April passed with lighting fast speed. It almost seemed like time had decided to just press the fast forward button through it. Everything around Hogwarts was in full bloom and love was everywhere.<p>

James and Lily had become so smitten with one another, that one was never seen without the other. And that was just the way the two liked it. But then with holding back for seven years, that it shouldn't be much of a surprise. Everyone was very sure that if one relationship that started in Hogwarts and would go on for centuries it would be James and Lily.

And Sirius and Remus relationship only blossomed like the flowers do in the spring. They'd stopped hiding everything. They no longer ducked into hide-a-ways, or snuck off to some deserted part of the castle. It was simply just a now run of the mill relationship. Holding hands in public, teasing and kissing was now just a day to day activity for the two boys. And anyone who dared challenge it took a jelly legs charm.

The two couples led Hogwarts into a very bright and beautiful spring, and hopefully into a beautiful year.

"Hey flower" Sirius called as he looked over Remus' shoulder as the boy was sitting in his lap half hazardly legs sprawled out.

"Yes Sirius" Lily sighed, giving up the fight long ago about the nickname.

"Have you and James had sex yet"

The question met three stunned faces.

"Sirius…didn't your mother teach you manners" Remus asked eyes still wide over the question.

"Have you and Remus" Lily snickered.

"Well this is a weird conversation" James rubbed the back of his neck "How about we not kiss and tell?"

"Is that a yes" Sirius snickered.

"You first Black" Lily grinned, meeting the black haired boys challenge.

"Nope" he kissed the top of Remus' head "Haven't yet, though it's tempting with his sexy ass always in front of me"

Remus had turned a color of a cherry as he suddenly ducked behind a book "I am not here, and I am not hearing this"

"Aww you don't like it when Sirius talks about you" James teased.

"Your turn Lily, had sex with James yet"

"Normal sex or oral"

James soon followed Remus' coloring as well as ducking behind the nearest object. It was only a hoax that the marauders had honestly had sex with anyone. James had never really slept with anyone because he was saving it for Lily, or that's what he'd said for years. While Sirius was more a 'gotta love before I do that' sort of man. Despite their reputations.

"Err…either" Sirius squirmed under the redheads gaze, all the sudden regretting asking.

"Neither" Lily laughed. "I don't put out without a ring" Lily nuzzled James' neck "A wedding ring Potter" she grumbled as she without even looking at his face felt him grin. "I'm serious"

"No he is" James grinned pointing at Sirius.

"That joke is too old" Remus grumbled behind his book "Seriously first year James…you need something new"

James glared at the thick bound book, testing the powers of his gaze hoping it went through the book.

"What are you reading anyway darling" Sirius pulled the thick volume from his hands and looked at it.

"I'm reading one of the books you got from the restricted section, since you've been hiding things from me" Remus grumbled.

"I haven't hidden anything from you" he grinned at the Latin book "Though if I was, this would be the perfect way to do so"

"What does it say?"

"Why the hell would I tell you" Sirius laughed "You don't translate your books"

Lily and James sighed, the two already sounded like an old married couple before they were dating and now it was even worse. "Let's see who wins this one" James whispered in Lily's ear.

"Ten sickles on Sirius"

"You're on"

"Because you don't ask me too" Remus sat up starring at him "Besides it was only until recently you actually wanted to read"

"I've asked you for YEARS to read me your stuff" Sirius scoffed "how dare you blame this on me, and what do you tell me? Hmm, what does he say Prongs"

"I'm out of it" James held up his hands.

"Pansy" Sirius stuck his tongue out "You tell me 'I'm too busy Sirius go away' OR your favorite 'You wouldn't understand'" Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "So tell me why I would translate this for you"

"I understand half of it" Remus growled "And it's about wolves…so I suggest you tell me just what you're reading a centuries old book for"

"None ya" Sirius merely smiled "Don't worry love, nothing to worry yourself about"

"Yea…you've said that to many times before and I should have worried…now I'm worrying"

"You'll give yourself grey hairs" Sirius snorted. "And that'd be terrible to ruin your color that way." The face Remus gave him only caused Sirius to laugh harder. "Oh Remy come on, you know I'm teasing. I am not picking on you for the fact you already found one"

"Already?" Lily exclaimed "Remus your only Eighteen"

Sirius and James started to laugh as Remus grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and getting out of Sirius' lap. "It was not grey, Sirius was joking around." he glared at his boyfriend who was now sprawled out on the grass rolling with uncontrollable laughter.

"BUT you should have seen his face" Sirius cried from his spot on the ground "Full of terror and frustration"

"And what did you get for your jest"

"A punch in the ribs" James chuckled. "Totally worth it I think though"

"You wait James Potter" Lily jabbed her finger in James' chest "First grey hair you get I'm going to make you think it's the end of the world"

"Unfortunately Lily" Remus sighed "Sirius is your best target"

"Then I believe dearest Remus" Lily chuckled "You can totally get him back"

"In thirty years" Sirius laughed holding his gut "Maybe even longer than that. Blacks are very good at aging well"

"We'll see about that" Remus grumbled.

Once the argument was over, and Sirius had possession of the book Remus had he chuckled. He was lucky Remus over the years hadn't picked up on any Latin. Otherwise his plans might be sorted and ruined. Then again Remus already knew what the book was about, he hadn't been as careful as a younger man. But now after circumstances had changed the idea had become more serious, and now, as he looked down at the thick binding of the book. He knew next moon he would come face to face with destiny.


	39. Warnings

***grins* Tomorrow's chapters I am in love with, these are fillers BUT important hint dropping fillers, you know like those epsiodes in shows that lead you up to a big plot point, well this is exactly what chapter thirty eight and thirty nine are :D Enjoy**

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><p>He raced through the forbidden forest; he could hear the sounds of growls behind him. Chasing him under the full moon. It was terrifying as the growls and howls closed in around him.<p>

"NO" he screamed but his voice wouldn't carry, it didn't even sound like it had left his mouth, but he had felt himself form the word with his mouth. He had felt the air leave his mouth. But then again it wouldn't really serve him any good. No one was around, and if they were they would only be sucked into the tragedy that he was about to get himself into.

In a matter of meters he could feel the animal on his heels. He knew in a matter of moments he'd be a dead man. And when the animal pounced on him, whatever had possessed him to roll into the attack he didn't know.

But soon he found himself face to face with a werewolf, growling, and eyes glowing gold. His eyes were wide as he tried to cover his face, but the chopping of jaws kept his arms at his side, he watched the wolf stare into his eyes, for what felt like years before with a second to react clapped his jaws down on his arm.

"REMUS!" the shout of his name stirred the young man causing him to leap up from his bed, heart hammering in his chest.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Remus shouted, looking around him, noticing he was tucked in his four poster bed. Once he knew he was safe and sound he relaxed "What's with the screaming at me"

"It was the only way to wake you, mate" James tapped his shoulder. "Calm down, just…moon's rising soon and you need to get gone remember"

Remus looked out the window and gave a heavy sigh. He hadn't seen Sirius all day, and he'd even wound himself up in a detention before the full moon. It was a marauder rule to at all costs never get a detention around full moon.

And for years other than a few times, the marauders had done just that. And now with full moon upon them Remus needed him more than ever. Not only because the wolf enjoyed the dog there, but now that they were mates the wolf would more than demand the dog be there.

"Sirius still gone" Remus asked voice groggy.

"Mmhmm, it'll be our first moon just the two of us" James winked "Won't it be romantic"

"More like bloody" Remus sighed standing up.

"Well…that's not how people typically talk about a first date, but sure. Pop my cherry why don't you"

"Not funny James"

"Geeze where is Sirius, you're a pissy bitch without him around"

"Sorry…it's the wolf"

"Missing his mate, I know you told me earlier"

"What the fuck possesses him to run off on the day of full moon when I told him what it meant"

"Maybe it scares him"

"What scares Sirius" Remus gave him a dark look "Not a damn thing!"

"He does have this odd phobia of curtains"

"Oh yes, and one day they will be the death of him" Remus mocked "I can see it now 'here lies Sirius Black, death by curtains, he knew they'd get him one day'"

The two boys rolled laughing, neither of them able to stop until they could no longer breathe.

"Oh God…thank you for that James" Remus leaned heavily against his friend panting "Merlin knows I needed it" he smiled.

"What are friends for" James grinned.

"Everything" he smiled and clapped James on the back "See you in twenty"

"See ya then" James winked.

Remus hated walking with Madam Pomfrey as they walked through the passage. She always told him that she felt bad for him, since no one would be there for him. And as he agreed and tried everything to get out of the conversation he always felt guilty. Remus never lied to anyone, at least if he could avoid it, though being friends with the marauders, one tended to have to lie more than one would have liked.

"How is your's and Sirius' relationship going" Pomfrey smiled as she pushed open the trap door. Remus raised his eyebrows in response before remembering his manners.

"Were fine, why do you ask" he asked as he crawled up through the trap door.

"Just…you know as well as I how a werewolf is over their mate" she eyed him "You know what I'm talking about"

"I-I do" Remus stuttered "Sirius knows how I feel about it"

"But you know Sirius" She sighed "And with what he did in fifth year."

It was no secret what Sirius had done among the staff of Hogwarts, especially Madam Pomfrey who had to deal with Remus' wounds for a week after and then even that next full moon and she had forbidden Sirius privilege to see him after it had all happened for a very long time.

"I can't say he wouldn't try, but I doubt he'd do it on school grounds"

"If he does Remus…"

"He won't" he sighed "And if he does then what can I do" he asked. "If I could stop Sirius Black from doing what he wants I think I would have stopped many things he's done"

The woman nodded and sighed "Just be careful dear"

"I will" he smiled. Once she was gone and he was undressed he unlatched the trap door, waiting for James. As he waited feeling the moon tug at his skin, he thought about what Pomfrey said. He wouldn't really try it? Not here? Not where if something happened…he stopped himself shaking his head. Sirius was careless but he would never do that to Remus, never. Then again he thought that in fifth year too, and what had happened.

He could remember through the years Sirius reading up on it, on just how werewolves were with lovers. Because even though Remus had told him it didn't matter the boy for the longest time had had a obsession with learning everything he could about werewolves, claiming one day he would find a cure and Remus would be the first human ever to be cured of lycanthropy. He smiled at the thought of the memory.

But the smile was short lived as he felt the moonlight touch his skin, and he could hear James scramble up.

"I'm here Moony" he called.

"Sirius" he whimpered. "Damn you" he breathed as he felt himself fall to his knees and hold himself, he hated this part. He hated the pain at the very beginning; he always anticipated the blackness on nights when the moon was this strong.

He felt James' hands on him. "Breathe Moony, I'm here."

"Change James" he growled, "Do it early the wolf is not happy"

And with that the world around him went black, and Remus Lupin was no more.


	40. Marked

**This is by far my favorite chapter I have EVER written! And hopefully you guys enjoy it too. This is a really big point in the story and the story parts to come :)**

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><p>The moon had long since risen, and after a rushed dash from a detention Sirius was on his way through the willow. He could already hear Moony's angry growls and fighting. Would this task really be that hard?<p>

He had to be calm, but there was no way one could face a huge werewolf and be calm. Especially if that person was going to bite you in a few moments. His heart raced as he stood in front of the ladder that led up to the living room floor of the shrieking shack. A shiver raced down his spine and spread to his fingers and toes.

Even as a Gryffindor one never stood in front of a werewolf and didn't tremble, at least someone with a sane mind. Remus had told him for the past two months to never come near him as a werewolf. Especially since he had caught Sirius with a book about werewolves and love. The idea once planted in Sirius' head hadn't been shaken.

Here he stood at the base of the ladder about to seal is fate forever with the young werewolf. Each rung of the ladder he climbed questions filled his mind.

Can I stay loyal?

Do I love him enough?

Does he love me enough?

Will I be enough till the end?

Will he?

Will he hate me tomorrow morning?

Will I hate myself?

Will I change my mind in twenty years?

Will he?

Is this worth it?

When his hand reached the handle to push open the trap door he stopped for a few seconds, thinking over exactly what he was going to do as he pushed the trap door open.

He met Prongs' wide eyes as he glanced back holding the wolf cornered in the other side of the living room. He made a pleading noise to hurry up. But when Sirius gave no motion to transform he panicked.

The sandy brown wolf growled and pawed at the deer trying to break free of his antlered cage. He let out a loud growl as he took the antler in his mouth and tugged at it to remove it.

"Let him James" Sirius' voice shook with fear "I-I trust him" he stuttered as he trembled head to toe. "It's ok" but James wouldn't move an inch though it was very clear on his features that the wolf was hurting him. Finally the wolf whined and pawed at the antlers.

"I'm his mate James…he won't hurt me he knows" Sirius was unsure that his words were truth, despite reading it in every book he'd read since he had found out just what Remus was nothing prepared one for the fear of a werewolf starring you in the eye. He was actually surprised Prongs was still standing tall, and unharmed. Maybe it really was the truth.

Prongs still stood his ground not letting the wolf move. He could smell Sirius' fear, or was it his own? He wasn't sure either way he wasn't moving until the dog showed up. He gave another call as he looked at Sirius. Later when Moony was handled and everything was ok he'd kick the dog's tail end to kingdom come.

Sirius gave a heavy sigh, he was really about to infuriate the deer, transforming into a dog he sat there, and waited. He waited until Prongs raised his antlers and Moony walked over to him, wagging his tail. He waited until he was approved of then without Prongs in-between them transformed back.

The world stopped spinning as the wolf starred into his eyes, everything stopped. It was do or die, quite literally. He felt the wolf's breath on his face. Prongs made a panicked noise and went to scramble Sirius raised his hand, this was it. He either died or was marked. Simple as that, if this time didn't work the wolf would never trust Sirius; he would turn his back on him.

Remus had warned him, over and over just what this meant. Just what he was doing, and what would happen if everything went wrong. Sirius would either be dead or Remus wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him.

And at the moment, Sirius all the sudden regretted his decision. His heart raced in his chest, he couldn't breath. 'Don't look away, don't look away' he kept repeating in his head. He watched the gold in the wolf's eyes darker. Sirius' throat tightened 'please…don't turn me away' he thought, heart racing in his chest.

Prongs stood helpless in place, unaware of what to do. Something about the position the two were in warned him to stay where he was or all hell would break lose, though if Moony went to attack Sirius he wouldn't really care what was going down he would be damned if he let the wolf hurt his friend, who right now was being very stupid.

Moony growled at Sirius, but didn't dare take another step forward. A battle of wits was going on, how long could the wolf keep Sirius' gaze and what would it take to make him look away.

Minutes passed by and soon twenty minutes had gone and passed and the two were still locked in a gaze. As the wolf finally stepped closer Sirius felt his body finally relax, if he had lived twenty minutes then he was ok right?

He wasn't prepared for the pounce wasn't prepared for the weight and he starred up underneath the hundred and something pound wolf wide eyed and terrified.

"R-Remus" Sirius breathed, he hadn't meant to speak, it had been in fear. The wolf growled daring him to speak again. Despite the racing of his heart, the inner workings of his mind begging him to up and run. But he didn't dare move, didn't dare utter another word he waited. He froze when he heard hooves walk closer; he couldn't move his arm from the pressure that Moony now had placed on it. The wolf turned his head and growled at the stag teeth bared; daring it to move one hoof closer, and soon the deer became silent.

When the wolf turned his head back Sirius went numb inside, he could see it in his eyes, here it came. The mark. He didn't shut his eyes, he looked back into those golden eyes that he loved more than anything. Those eyes that made him the richest man on the planet.

Then came the burn, he felt the teeth sink into his skin, felt the clamp of jaws. And he shut his eyes tight knotting his fingers in the soft fur of the wolf. He let out a soft whimper, it hurt. There was no lying; the burn of the mark was intense. It was a blinding white heat he dug his fingers deeper into his fur and rested his head against the wolf's jaw.

The process lasted a few moments before the wolf finally let go and dropped his head against Sirius' licking away the tears that had streamed down his cheeks, before he laid down beside him and proceeded to start cleaning the wound. Sirius felt numb from head to toe, he could feel the binding taking place. He knew he'd be sick from then on every time the full moon came. They would feel each others pain.

The three of them never left the shack that night, and Sirius never transformed. Too weak from the marking, he just laid there between the wolf and the stag who every now and again would throw very dirty looks at him. Sirius couldn't have been happier, despite the pain and the throbbing headache he was a very happy man.

When Remus woke that morning he knew what had taken place, despite being a wolf, he would never forget it. And when he rolled on his side to look at his boyfriend he could see his shirtless form laying there, mark starring him in the face red and alive. Remus shook his head but didn't dare wake Sirius, who looked too peaceful since last night he had been bitten from a werewolf.

"Are you ok Moony" James whispered as he reached out clothes for Remus. "I tried…"

"I know you did" Remus sighed "Last night is very clear in my mind…but that's what happens when a human is marked I guess"

"What does that mean" James sat beside him as Remus slid on his boxers.

"It means I marked Sirius as my permanent mate" he looked at James "it's a werewolf's way of marriage"

James starred at him then back to Sirius "Is that why you-"

"Yes, and when he wakes up, and I feel better I'm going to clobber him"

"I think it's sweet"

"He'll never be the same…he'll feel the pull of the moon just like I do. As well as my pain from transformation and such"

"He's always said he wanted to feel it"

"I don't think he understands what he's in for"

"On the contrary" Sirius grumbled from his position "I do, so stop your bitching and shut the damn window" James chuckled as Sirius covered his head to hide his eyes from the light that snuck through the shutters on the window.

"Welcome to my world love" Remus whispered pressing a soft kiss on the boy's forehead "Next time you do something as reckless and stupid I'll kill you. Do you know what would have happened if I had turned you away" Remus spat.

"Yes…I was prepared for that" Sirius looked at him "I'm not stupid Lupin I know what it means…now get off my arm…you slept on it all night"

Remus rolled over and helped Sirius sit up; he was oddly not in much pain as he usually was. It might have something to do with tasting human blood, he shuttered Sirius' blood. When Sirius was on his feet he leaned heavily on James. "We'll see you in hospital wing"

"Take care of him James" Remus whispered "He needs to stay in bed" he smiled.

"Will do Remus…anything I need to worry about"

"Err…if he starts to foam at the mouth I'd worry"

"Funny joke" Sirius chuckled.

"I wasn't kidding"

"…what does that mean then?"

"Welcome to my world…literally"

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY" Sirius shouted.

"I told you before you even THOUGHT about doing this, that there was a chance it'd turn you"

"Oh dear God…SIRIUS YOU STUPID NUTTER" James smacked him over the back of the head growling.

"…I won't foam, I'm just marked calm down"

"You better fucking hope that's all" James hissed, "See you later Moony"

Once the two left Remus sat down on the ground, dressed and waiting for Pomfrey, he was oddly happy about what had happened last night. Which scared him, why should he be happy about dooming Sirius with him? He ran his fingers over his teeth, and shivered as the memory of his teeth sinking into Sirius' soft skin ran though his mind. He hadn't ever expected someone to ever let him mark them.

And there he was last night, marking the one person he was the most afraid to lose. So why should this scare him? For the simple fact Sirius was a drifter, and even if he promised him forever they were young and stupid. And the realist in his mind told him that in a few years Sirius would beyond regret his decision but would have no choice to stick with it.

Marking was exactly like marriage it was a binding contract, that the only way to break it is by death. And if one of them cheated on the other, the person they cheated with would meet an untimely and bloody end. By the hands of the other. Remus shivered; maybe he should have sat Sirius down and told him everything. Should have played every scenario instead of just telling him flat out no. Maybe then he wouldn't have the doubts and worry. He put his head in his hands and lost himself in thought.

Only when Madam Pomfrey came did he pull himself away from the thoughts that now plagued his mind.


	41. Bond Everlasting

**And here is another important part! Enjoy**

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><p>When his grey eyes opened he was met with bright sunlight, and with a groan he shut his eyes tightly. His head throbbed and his body ached, what had happened last night? He couldn't remember really all he knew was that his body burned and was sore.<p>

"Moony" his voice still groggy from sleep "Where are you."

"He's in the Hospital Wing Pads. Everything is ok" James' voice hit his ears and he looked towards the sound. "You need anything"

"Yea" Sirius chuckled "Shut the damn curtains"

With a flick of James' wand the normally well lit dormitory was cloaked in darkness. "Better"

"Much thank you" Sirius raised up and groaned softly "What happened"

"What can't you remember" James sat down at the edge of his bed.

"Um…a lot of last night really"

"Remus marked you" James raised an eyebrow. "That's about it. You stayed a human around him, though I wouldn't suggest doing that often, the wolf was pretty calm licking your wound"

Sirius' hand instinctively flew to his shoulder, where he could feel the teeth marks, and a smile slid on his face "I remember that part, it's the rest I don't really remember"

"Oh" James chuckled at his friends smile "Nothing much happened we just kept an eye on you. Is all" James patted his back "Want anything"

"Food please" Sirius grinned sitting up in the bed "Since Rem said I couldn't leave"

James went to make a statement but he caved and sighed. "Yea…because that's exactly what Remus wants, you pent up in bed till he says otherwise…he's planning an attack on himself'

The face Sirius made had told James he had just given his best friend a terrible idea.

"Just remember" James walked to the door "he'll be coming back from a transformation…don't be to harsh"

"He'll love it" Sirius called as the door shut behind James.

Sirius leaned back against his pillows before reaching over to his mirror and looking and the teeth marks on his shoulder. He ran his fingers over each hole, his smile growing with each little hole.

"All yours, forever" he whispered to himself "I, Sirius Black, eldest son of Orion Black, here by give myself to you, Remus John Lupin"

"Is that your wedding vows, if so they suck."

The mirror fell from Sirius' hand as a growl slipped between his lips "What do you want Pettigrew" he growled.

"This is also my dorm you know" Peter sighed. "And I came to see if it was true"

"What are you talking about" Sirius glared at him.

"Remus bit you, I heard James and Lily talking about it" he chuckled "Apparently a wolf can bite without turning someone"

"It's none of your concern" Sirius looked away from him, now regretting not having a shirt on. "Why don't you remove your nose from where it doesn't belong."

"Look…don't get nasty with me because I didn't like the fact you were gay" Peter sat down on his bed, which was farthest to the left. "It's just…you guys are my role models you know. And if two of you can turn gay…on each other"

"Pete" Sirius sighed "Look, I know it's hard, but you didn't need to be an asshole"

"I know" Peter sighed and looked at Sirius. "It's not like I really wanted to hurt you or Remus, or even James for that matter…I just…it hurt me ya know"

"And why the hell did it hurt you" Sirius sighed leaning back in his bed, honestly all he wanted was peace and quiet so he could be to himself. But Sirius was never a man to turn someone away, even if at the moment he didn't want to deal with you.

"Well…I thought if you were gay that meant I was"

"And would that honestly be a problem" Sirius looked over at him, eyeing him through the opened curtains of his bed as well as Remus' and Peter's.

"Yes…it would have been"

"And why" Sirius raised up on one arm and rolled on his side "If it's what you like it's what you like" he chuckled "Nothing more than that"

"Yes maybe for you, but not for me."

"Well it's a good thing its not you then" Sirius rolled back on his back before giving his back to Peter "look if your going to act that way then you mine as well leave me be. I regret nothing"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true" Sirius sighed giving up.

"He marked you"

Fear ran down Sirius' spine, Peter was no longer a marauder and the boy thought faithful too the marauders when was in the group Sirius always questioned his faithfulness if something were to happen. He glanced down at his shoulder; he could still see the wounds, even as they lay hidden in the covers. His mind panicked, heart thumping in his chest. "And if he did"

"That means its never going to change doesn't it"

"That would be what marking means, yes" he felt himself grow cold, if Peter walked out he'd run after the boy, Obliviate the memory from his mind. He'd do whatever it took to keep Remus safe, no matter the cost to him.

"Then that means this isn't going away"

"If I was marked yes that would be what it meant"

"Then are you marked"

"What would it change" Sirius sat up now, turning his fear into anger. As he had done for years, anytime Sirius was angry or scared or nervous he'd turn it into another emotion, which ever emotion at the time seemed a better fit.

"It would change my decision of if I was going to get over it or not"

"Marking shouldn't change it"

"If it's not going away then it does"

"To hell with you" Sirius growled "IF that'd be the only reason you'd change your mind I wouldn't want you to change it then" he spat. "So if that's what you came up here to bothe-"

"Is that why your in bed" The smaller, rounder boy advanced, which if he knew anything about dogs it was a bad idea to corner a wounded dog, or really any animal you could think of, and that's just what Peter was doing. "Is that why you've yet to go see your boyfriend" he chuckled "Is he mad at you"

"Pete I'm warning you, don't start" Sirius held a calm tone, though inside he was growing and spitting venom. Prepared to attack.

"Don't make me come and look myself then, I'm still a marauder despite my fit, you have yet to replace me so I still hold my title. It's a rule you made in fifth year, remember, when we were angry at you. You set this up, so I am still a marauder, so you have no right to hide things from me" Peter held his head high.

For a moment, Sirius felt a little unnerved, almost pleased with Peter standing up for himself, but within minutes the boy would return to his normal rat like state and fear everything that moved. "Yes he marked me" Sirius finally sighed, his chest tight and heavy "And if you tell any soul, alive or dead…you'll regret the day you laid eyes on me" his voice full of ice and nails. Eyes full of promise. "You'll regret the day you ever stepped in my present, because if there is one thing on this earth, I would go to Azkaban for it's the people who no matter what I have done, what I will do, and what I could have done. Have stood beside me, and you Peter Pettigrew…you left the second it was something you couldn't handle, and that, that makes you untrustworthy to me."

"And if I apologized"

"It'll take a lot to earn it back"

"Then I guess I better start proving"

Sirius stared at him, despite everything. Despite his gut telling him he'd made a wrong choice that something deep down was off. He nodded. "I guess you better then, but for now, leave." When Peter looked at him he chuckled. "I just am tired is all, my head hurts, and apparently they don't warn you about the killer headaches when you're marked"

Peter smiled and headed for the door "And Sirius"

"Hmm"

"Thank you"

"Your welcome Worm, just remember…one word…its over"

"Got ya"

When the door shut again Sirius starred after it, it had been over an hour since James had been in, and he was hungry. But what troubled him most was Peter's new found courage. Though it should thrill him the boy had finally figured it out it unnerved him, rattled every bone in his body.

Something was up, but he couldn't place it. Maybe all he needed was time alone, time to figure himself out. Yeah, that was it. He shook his head and chuckled, that's all he needed, just time to be himself and fend for himself. Should have done it years ago, maybe they could have done even cooler pranks.

As he settled himself in his bed he pushed all of the dark feelings and thoughts out of his head. By this time tomorrow he'd be back at Remus' side in the hospital wing, with James, Lily and Peter at his side the five of them being the group they were meant to be. He closed his eyes and before he drifted off to sleep ran his fingers one last time over the bite marks on his shoulder, smiling as he did so. Happy for his decision.


	42. Back to Normal

**Maybe two more days of updates guys, might be two or three I'm not sure yet. I'm working as the ending today. SOOO tomorrow I should know how much is left.**

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><p>Remus had been somewhat disappointed Sirius hadn't come to see him, his whole stay in the hospital wing. It had upset him as the hours went on and the boy hadn't blessed him with his presence. But he understood why, it'd take Sirius a few days to get used to the feeling pulsing through his veins. Getting used to heightened senses and such. If he had turned Sirius, he would feel it; he'd feel the creation of his own.<p>

But all he felt now was immense love, not many normal humans took the mark. Normally they were too afraid, or they couldn't keep the vow. But then again Sirius was anything but normal. He chuckled as he leaned back in his bed. He'd be leaving soon, and then he could sneak away and go see Sirius.

"How are you feeling this morning" her happy voice caused him to raise his head and smile. Madam Pomfrey had been in a rather chipper mood these past few days and he couldn't quite figure out why.

"Very good, much better than normal moons"

"I can tell, and I'd like to know why" the woman put her hands on her hips "You've been handling them much better lately, and two days ago you were almost well enough I could have just let you walk right out"

"Err…" Remus didn't know exactly what to say, the woman always in the end weaseled the truth out of him. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, he couldn't lie to her. She just was too kind and to motherly to him to lie, then again in certain cases he had even been able to lie to his mother.

"Remus Lupin" she sighed "What have you went and done" she asked, eyeing the boy head to toe.

"I haven't done anything"

"Remus" she sat at his bedside, a gesture she hadn't done in over five years, Remus felt a lump in his throat. "You know you can tell me anything" his walls started to crumble as she patted his leg. "I've taken care of you for years; nothing you could do could upset me"

"I marked Sirius" he looked away. He expected her to shout, expected her to scold him.

"He understands what it means" she asked, he merely nodded. "Then I'm happy for you both"

Remus' head snapped up, as she started to rise to her feet "P-pardon" he breathed.

"I said I'm happy for you, the both of you" she smiled. "But just…be careful" she sighed. "I should report this to Dumbledore…but what he won't know won't hurt him" she patted his shoulder.

"Your not mad" he asked, sounding more like a child than he wanted to.

"No, a tad bit disappointed, only because it was on school grounds but not mad" she smiled. "When your ready you're free to go" she smiled. "But tell that man of your's he's not allowed to follow you just because he's marked, I will not have any bloodshed of any kind do I make myself clear"

"Yes madam"

The second she was out of sight Remus reached for his clothes and slowly started getting dressed. He had only pulled his shirt over his shoulders when hands flew over his eyes covering them.

"Guess who"

"No idea"

"Moony" the voice whined and Remus grinned ear to ear.

"Hello love" Remus moved his head back so Sirius' now limp hands slid down to his lips as he placed kisses on his fingers "I missed you." he smiled as Sirius shivered with his soft kisses.

"I missed you too" Sirius breathed in his ear before running kisses up his neck "I missed you so much" he whispered in his ear.

"Mmm Sirius, were in the hospital wing"

"Then let's get out of here, and go somewhere secret"

"No lets not" Remus chuckled and pulled Sirius' arms down to his shoulders, as Sirius wrapped them around his shoulders. "Let's go find James"

"What about Pete"

"What about him"

"He hasn't come to you and apologize"

"Did he come to you" Remus leaned back and looked up at Sirius, smile now faint on his face.

Sirius smiled back and placed a kiss on the blonde headed boy. "He did, apologized and…well I gave him another chance" Sirius smiled sheepishly.

"I don't know Padfoot" Remus sighed. "I just…"

"We gotta try…he just was unnerved by us, he didn't notice like Prongs"

"I hope your right" Remus smiled and took Sirius' hand.

"Moon"

"Hmmm"

"Your shirt is still open" Sirius chuckled pulling his hand from Remus' grip and slowly buttoned up his shirt "As much as I enjoy that sight no one else gets to see it" he grinned.

"Jealous"

"Protecting my investment"

"What are you talking about?"

"Since you didn't warn me about the headaches"

"Oh and bonding yourself with someone forever won't give you headaches"

"When a headache is worse than a hangover" Sirius took Remus' hand back and started to lead the boy to the door "Someone needs to be warned, SEE YA LATER POPPY"

"YOU TWO BEHAVE" Pomfrey called from her office.

"WILL DO" Sirius called back as he opened the door "This was sweetie"

"Shut up Black" Remus grumbled.

"Who's last name is the other taking" Sirius ended up asking later when the four marauders and Lily were all down by the lake.

"What?" James raised an eyebrow from the chess board between himself and Peter. "Lily takes my name"

"He wasn't talking to you" Peter sighed "he was talking to Remus, your move James"

"Oh right" the knight moved and slashed down Peter's bishop and James grinned.

"Um…you only take someone's name when you get married" Remus looked up at him from his book. "So…"

"So, who's taking whose name?"

"Sirius we can't get married" Remus chuckled "As nice as the idea is we can't"

"And why not"

"It's sort of against the law" Lily sighed. "One day it'll change though"

"We can still do rings and such, right" Sirius leaned against Remus' shoulder and smiled.

"Once Sirius found Remus he believes in marriage and everything else, what do you want next kids" James chuckled as he pulled Lily close to him.

"We could do kids" Sirius grinned wider "I love kids"

"Oh yes, they are going to give a child to a gay couple where one of them is a werewolf and the other is crazy enough to let himself be marked. Yea, no never gonna happen"

"Don't you want kids Moon?"

"I never said I didn't I just am a realist and I don't want your dreams crushed"

"Your doin' that yourself Remus" Lily chuckled nuzzling James' cheek.

Remus sighed and nuzzled Sirius' scruffy jaw; the boy hadn't shaved that morning and despite the prickles against his own dusting of shadow was very sexy. "Maybe one day Sirius, there's a war going on"

"Promise"

"Promise" Remus kissed his cheek. "Peter, you just got creamed"

"Don't I always" Peter huffed as he looked down at his captured king. "Don't I always."

James chuckled "Wanna play again"

"Not really"

The group laughed as Lily took Peter's place. "Play me"

"Positive love"

"More than positive"

"And all bets start now" Sirius called "Who's down on Lily"


	43. Starlight

**Chapter rated M! Smut lies ahead! Boy/boy BEWARE!**

**This is my warning! And no this was not planned, it was just what the story wrote for itself XD. Hopefully this attempt at slash is written better than my first try, enjoy :D**

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><p>Sirius's hand was behind his back as he sat out over the ledge of the astronomy tower, Remus sitting between his legs leaning back against him, his History of Magic book in his hands.<p>

"Could you spend one evening with just me and not studying?"

"No Sirius" Remus sighed "This is our first exam and it's in two days" he chuckled "besides your mind isn't here its on tomorrow's match"

Sirius threw his head back laughing up at the stars as they glittered above them "Not even the match could distract me from you if you wanted my attention" Sirius nuzzled Remus' neck "Come on Moony be a proper boyfriend and give me some attention"

"Which kind of attention are we talking about" Remus purred, Sirius' eyes widened as he ran his fingers through his hair. Remus grinned secretly, the two hadn't had sex yet, for the simple fact Remus had at first been afraid to for quite a few reasons. And now it was just 'if we haven't done it yet wait till schools over' and that had suited the two just fine though it had gotten pretty far at points when it got heated between the two.

"Well...I thought we agreed…" Remus loud laughter distracted Sirius enough for him not to finish his train of thought.

"Were not having sex tonight" Remus smiled "For the simple fact you have a match tomorrow and your ass would be sore"

"Who said I'm the girl first"

"I did" Remus grinned.

"Na uh, no way that's not fair"

"What are we gonna do have to flip a coin each time"

"Sounds like a good idea to me"

"Oh you're so romantic" Remus grumbled as he started reading again.

"I'll show you romantic" he snatched Remus' book from his hands, thought about throwing it off the tower then decided behind them was fine. Remus spun around and stared at him as the book slid across the wooden floor and his eyes widened as Sirius locked his lips with his, instantly Remus forgot all about his book.

The two got heated as Remus pinned Sirius underneath him the both of them fighting the urge to pull away for air. Hands were in hair they clawed at fabric begging the other for a touch of skin. And when the two finally pulled apart they stared at each other both breathless.

"I love the way you taste Moony" Sirius breathed against his mouth "I just can't get enough." Remus licked Sirius' lips which started another heated kissing session. The two boys fighting one another for dominance.

"Look" Remus pulled back chuckling "We can't constantly fight each other for the upper hand"

"Why not, I think it's sexy" Remus' laughter brought a wide grin to Sirius's face.

"Of course you do" Remus nuzzled his cheek "And your sexy when you fight for it but tell me darling, how is that gonna work when one of us is on our stomach"

"Err" Sirius shrugged "We'll see how it goes" he gave a big smile.

"Sirius…it doesn't work that way" Remus smiled. "If it did this wouldn't be a problem" he gestured to the two of them.

"Well you right now are the man with the way our legs are, if you put my legs over your sho-" he was stopped by a hand over his mouth and a deep groan.

"Shh…don't even talk like that"

"Ohhh you like that" Sirius grinned behind Remus' hand "You like the idea of my legs over those sexy shoulders begging for you"

"Sirius Black…enough"

"Aww but I like you all hot and bothered" Sirius cooed as he licked his lips. Remus watched him "Do you want me Remus"

"Yes" he looked in Sirius' eyes, "but I don't feel like my ass hurting tomorrow" the boy pulled away trying to collect his thoughts, and try and calm the blood that raced south bound.

"Mmm does that mean you'll bend for me" Sirius ran his hands down the boy's back, causing Remus to shiver.

"Y-yes" he breathed, his hands shaking.

"Would you bend now" Sirius grinned as Remus nodded. Sirius let his hands slide down below his belt and grab Remus' ass and groaned as the boy leaned into his hands. "I love your ass" he breathed against the back of the boy's neck watching as goose bumps formed. "Mmm I love watching you bend over I could stare at it forever"

"Siri" he whimpered out Sirius pet name and the man groaned, as he reached forward and undid Remus' belt "D-don't"

"Don't what Remy" Sirius breathed against the back of his ear "tell me"

Remus bucked forward as Sirius' fingers ran over his throbbing cock and his mind melted into a puddle "S-stop"

When Sirius' fingers stopped he whimpered "You said stop" Sirius whispered.

"I meant don't stop" Remus whispered "P-please"

"Change your mind" Sirius grinned as his fingers went back to work. Remus nodded and bowed his head as Sirius ran kisses down the back of his neck. "I love you Remus"

"I love you too" Remus gasped as Sirius pulled his pants and boxers down.

"Are you scared" Remus shook his head.

"Do you trust me" he nodded this time.

"Good" Sirius' whole body shook as he looked at Remus body in the starlight, his vision blurring as the boy got up on his knees.

"What Sirius" Remus looked back and starred at his boyfriend's face.

"I'm a little scared" Sirius chuckled resting his head against Remus' back, blush flooding his face. "..Maybe more than a little"

Remus smiled and fixed his pants and belt. "And here I thought we'd have to be slow for me"

"Give me a break Rem; I've never really done it"

"I'm teasing" Remus nuzzled him. "Though it's not fair for you to leave me that way"

"Don't look at me then" but it was too late, Remus had looked down at he could see Sirius cock out in front of all the stars for them to see.

"S-Sirius" he breathed.

"I told you not to look" Sirius looked in his eyes. "What"

"I've never actually see it…hard, ya know" Remus breathed his fingers reaching out to touch the hot soft skin. He bit down on his lip as Sirius hissed a breath through his teeth as Remus' fingers fell onto his hard member. "Damn Sirius…"

"W-what" Remus licked his fingers a few beads of pre cum on his fingers. Sirius threw his head back and groaned as the boy ran kisses down his neck.

"You taste good" he breathed against his Adams apple, "So good"

"Like beat chocolate, good?" Sirius grinned but gasped when Remus' teeth grazed his throat.

"You always beat chocolate but defiantly if that's what I'm tasting" he grinned as he felt Sirius groan against his teeth. "You ready now" Sirius nodded and Remus turned his back to him. "Promise"

Sirius gulped and felt his head go light as the boy once again showed his rear end to him, exposed and it alone practically begging him to have him. He nodded again his mouth so dry the Sahara desert would have seemed like a rainforest. And when Remus leaned himself forward Sirius had to close his eyes to get rid of the vertigo that flooded his vision.

"You ok" Remus looked back.

"Mmhmm you just make me light headed" Sirius breathed holding out his finger to Remus "L-lick." Remus rolled his eyes and instead of licking the finger Sirius offered he pulled it in his mouth and sucked causing Sirius to groan deep in his throat, his eyes never leaving the gold pools that looked back at him. "Damn Re-Remus"

When the finger was soaked Sirius slowly slid it inside the warm heat that was Remus' ass, the two boy's groaned deep in their throats as Remus rocked back against Sirius' hand.

"S-Sirius" He panted, his eyes shut closed.

"Does it hurt" Sirius whispered kissing the boy's neck.

"A little bit"

"Want me to stop" Remus shook his head.

"More" he breathed after a few seconds of getting used to the pressure. And groaned as Sirius slid another finger inside of him. "Mmm yes." He hung his head as sweat trickled down from his brow.

Minutes passed of Remus rocking against Sirius' fingers his body aching and begging for more "I want you" Remus breathed finally after his body was used to the feeling.

"Y-you sure" Sirius shivered as he looked at Remus' shirt covered back.

"Yes" Remus looked back "Please" he begged his eyes pleading for him, causing Sirius to shiver and groan.

"Anything for you Remus" he panted adjusting his seat and looked at Remus "What about lube" the realization finally hitting him. Remus muttered a wand less charm and grinned as Sirius gasped. "Sly dog, how long have you been working on that"

"Not long" Remus grinned "now Sirius Black fuck me, before I put you on your stomach"

"Yes sir" Sirius grinned and slid his cock slowly in Remus. His body begging for him to just slam himself inside but held his ground and slowly let himself sink into him. Remus gasping and groaning his body adjusting his position to make it easier for Sirius.

"F-fuck" Remus breathed "gah that feels so good" he panted "More" his head went forward as Sirius started to slowly move inside of him, he could feel Sirius' fingers dig into his hips.

"Fuck yes, Remus" he panted the two finding a rhythm and slowly finding the right pace for each other.

Minutes ticked by as the two rocked against one another and as Remus started to whimper Sirius reached forward and started to work on his neglected member.

"Ahhh Sirius" he cried out "Faster, please I'm so close" he whimpered, Sirius had been teasing him, neglecting the one spot that would send him over the edge "Dammit Sirius" he growled "harder" he knotted his hands in his pants which were pooled at his knees at the boy behind him moved faster inside of him.

"Like that" Sirius panted sweat streaming down his face "Do you like that Remus"

He's answer was a cry before his name was screamed to the stars, and with the echo hitting his ears Sirius felt himself cum inside of Remus as the white engulfed him.

The two collapsed against the ground, and only then did Sirius notice Remus' release on his on hand. He smiled as he felt Remus cuddle against him the two boys tired and finally comfortable.

"Did I hurt you" Sirius asked running his clean hand through the boy's hair.

"No"

"Then what was the scream for" Sirius looked down.

"Because you hit a spot that made me see white" Remus chuckled "And it felt so fucking good" he kissed Sirius' jaw. "I'd ask for it again, but I can't take it"

"Nor could I" Sirius chuckled, "Wore out" he smiled.

"Your carrying me to bed, I couldn't walk if I wanted"

"Aww gonna be my damsel in distress"

"Don't ruin it" Remus grumbled.

Once the two boys were tucked into Remus' bed they fell into a deep slumber curled up beside each other, still happy from the bliss of their night under the stars.


	44. A Plan

**And this chapter, though not much plot for this story since tomorrow it will come to a close. But it is a large peice of plot for the second half WHICH will also be put up tomorrow. I am writing the close Desire, and the opening to part two tonight SOO you get three chapters tomorrow :). **

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><p>James hadn't stopped grinning after beating Slytherin once again for the Quidditch cup, and once again it bore the name of Gryffindor. And Sirius as well as happy over the cup was just as happy over his victory prize.<p>

The images of just what he and Remus had done still flooded his mind. It made his heart race and his body ache, but he really shouldn't think about that right now. He knew that as he starred down at the piece of parchment in front of him.

He hated history of magic and what made it worse was that this was his N.E.W.T. This test right here decided a part of his future. He sighed as again number sixty two still puzzled him. He couldn't remember for the life of him just who had started the goblin war.

He ran his fingers through his hair and demanded his mind pull away from Remus and focus on the test so that he could get it done. Why had Remus sat so close to him? He couldn't function when he could smell the boy that close, he still smelt like Sirius from this morning. The two couldn't remember how to keep their hands off of one another since that night two weeks ago.

His head throbbed at the lack of blood that was in his brain, he had to think of something, and something fast as he looked up realizing that over a hour had passed since the exam had started and he still had half way to go. He grumbled to himself and laid his quill down and rubbed his face, trying to clear the imagine of Remus bent over in front of him out of his mind.

He tried an old trick, imagining his mother in the same position, and happily it worked. And as soon as his mind was then scarred from the mental images it went back to work on the test, he finished with nearly moments to spare.

"Have a problem with your exam Pads" James asked clapping the boy on the back.

"Yea…couldn't focus" he grumbled.

"I couldn't either if my boyfriend was on my mind" Peter teased.

"Shut up Pete" Sirius growled and wrapped his arm around Remus' shoulder. "Driving me crazy Moony" he grumbled against the boys scruff covered face. "You're killin' me slowly" he whispered.

"Well I told you that it wouldn't be a good idea for this morning" Remus chuckled "Come on let go I gotta go to Divination's review"

"Do you really" Sirius whispered in his ear.

"Yes I do" Remus pulled away chuckling "We need to slow down before you have no brain cells left, I'll see you guys later" and with that he pulled away giving Sirius a peck goodbye and headed off.

"What's next" Sirius finally sighed leaning on James.

"Oh come on Padfoot" James chuckled "He'll be back"

"I know…but I miss him"

"How cute" the voice behind them chuckled "My big brother is finally in love"

"Hello Regulus" Peter growled.

"HEY" Sirius snapped "Brother, remember" he glared at Peter, Peter gave a snort.

"See you in common room" Peter sighed, Peter would be off to Herbology review. James would be off to Muggle studies with Lily. And Sirius was off to Astronomy.

"What's up Reg" Sirius asked as the boys' went their separate ways.

"Just sort of collided with you really, figured I'd say hello"

"Ahhh, anything on your mind"

"Just wondering how your life is going"

"Pretty damn fantastic, how about you, Mum giving you any issues"

"If she has I ignored it" Regulus grinned, "So no worries"

"How about" Sirius motioned to Regulus' right arm, and frowned as his brothers face fell.

"As good as life can go when its there" he sighed, rubbing his arm. "I don't know what to do about it"

"Could run away" Sirius shrugged.

"Not like you"

"No" Sirius smiled "No your not, your braver than I am"

"Excuse me"

"That's really what I ran from" Sirius chuckled "That's what mother said to me the night I ran away. I could deal with it being down my throat, everything else. But I was not about to take that mark, and that's why I ran."

"And instead of you I had to get it" Regulus grumbled.

"Had I have known that" Sirius looked his brother dead in the eye "I would have gladly taken your place"

The two boys starred in each others eyes for a while, neither of them saying a word. They spoke with their eyes, their bodies. It was one of the few things the brothers did that made them brothers. As time ticked by Regulus finally reached forward and wrapped his brother in a large hug. Sirius held him closely and didn't let go. One more year was all Regulus had to be completely safe. Despite their fathers' protection over the two boys when Regulus was free of school their father could no longer protect him from what Voldemort had planned for him.

"It will be ok" Sirius whispered "When your out, we'll run"

"And Remus"

"He'll come too"

"And Dad" Regulus looked at him.

"Dad is more than capable of protecting himself, he'd run from mum too if it was that bad"

"And the rest of your crew"

"I could come see James whenever I wanted, you are my baby brother. And thus is my first priority if you want to"

"Give me a year" Regulus looked at him. "Give me time to think…maybe within that time the war will be over"

"Fine…a year to your birthday"

"June sixth nineteen seventy nine" Regulus smiled. Sirius nodded as the two shook on it.

"I gotta run" Sirius pointed behind him "Astronomy review" he grinned.

"You're easy O"

"One of them" Sirius grinned "Thanks to Dad" the two laughed as they split ways.

Sirius felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, another conversation he'd have to have with Remus. He sighed as he climbed the staircase to the tower knowing he wouldn't focus much up there either. Because between Regulus and the memory of his and Remus' first time he knew he couldn't win the battle.


	45. At Long Last

**Just a random filler really, it almost was cut from the story line...but I loved the dialoge in this too much to cut it. XD**

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><p>"Accio" the tests flew out from underneath the students who sat at their desks. The grin on Sirius Black's face could not have been bigger. This last exam of his student life had been from his favorite teacher. As she walked through the isles Sirius winked at her.<p>

"Mr. Black" McGonagall sighed, "Don't start your flirting, you've just been released as my student for only a matter of seconds"

"Is that a no then" Sirius grinned ear to ear. For the past seven years he and McGonagall had had this thing going on. It was all for good fun at least as Sirius saw it, though when he was younger despite his teasing the woman had been more of his mother than his own. He smiled up at her.

"Of course it's a no, last I heard I'm not your type" she winked and continued walking past him. The few students around laughed as Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.

"Your right" he called "No one is better than Remus" he grinned as Remus blushed ear to ear.

"You made a good choice then" Minerva chuckled as she continued walking, causing Remus' blush to deepen.

"No one will ever beat McGonagall in our hearts" James chuckled clapping Sirius on the back "Sadly you'll never have that teacher fantasy you always wanted Sirius"

"Eh Rem will be a professor in no time, when I'll have it when ever I want"

"Just don't shoot for Defense, it's cursed" James nudged Remus and grinned.

The three boys laughed, Peter had not continued Transfigurations since fifth year he had failed the class, and his profession he had chosen did not require the class.

"WRITE ME MINNIE" Sirius called as he started to leave the great hall grinning with his arm around Remus' shoulders.

"Write me first" she chuckled gathering the tests watching the three boys she had guarded for years leave her sight. It was a bittersweet moment, she had never been more proud of any students as she was those three. The three boys than when they started would have laughed at her if she had told her just how grown up they would eventually become. She felt a lump in her throat as the door closed behind them, knowing that now as the door slowly closed blocking them from view despite them still living at Hogwarts for another week they were now adults and she would no longer have the thrill of teaching them new things, which she knew they would turn into some sort of prank.

She gave a weak smile to herself as she flipped to their exams and looked at them for a moment. She missed every student she had ever taught, it was simple. But those three boys held such a deep place in her heart, and with the world turning so dark. There was nothing she wished more than for them to be young boys again so she could keep them safe locked behind the unbreakable walls that were Hogwarts castle.

"SIRIUS" Lily shouted "GIVE IT BACK!" she jumped up trying to grab her bag from Sirius' hands "come on it's not funny" she barked her green eyes flashing a temper.

"Catch James!" Sirius shouted throwing the bag to James, "DON'T give it back" he grinned as Lily raced after the back colliding with James as two lovers crashed and rolled down a small hill, the bag laid unforgotten at the top of the hill as the two laid down at the bottom laughing.

"That looks like fun" Sirius grinned, Remus had made the fatal mistake of walking ahead and as soon as he turned to face Sirius his eyes grew wide.

"Sirius, no. Down! No! SIRIUS NO! Oof" he grunted as Sirius leaped on top of him sending the two rolling behind James and Lily the two of them laughing as the rolled.

"Hiya Moony" Sirius grinned.

"Get off lard arse" Remus growled trying to push the heavy man off of him "I can't breathe"

"Aww does my handsomeness take your breath away"

"No…your heavy ass body does" Remus panted underneath him.

Sirius rolled off and smiled at him from his place on the grass "I am itching to turn into a dog and run around all of Hogwarts"

"Your illegal don't you dare" Remus growled looking over at him.

"But Prongs and I we could frolic through the grounds" Sirius grinned at James.

"As fun as that would be" James chuckled "I'd rather not show the world I broke the law"

"It'd prove how smart you are" Lily chuckled pulling grass form her hair "Then again…how smart would it be to show off you'd done something illegally."

"It's not illegal! We just…aren't registered"

"Hence illegal" Remus sat up and looked at his clothes "Sirius geeze…couldn't you at least warn me" he grumbled.

"And ruin the fun, hell no" Sirius grinned and crawled over to Remus on his hands and knees "Forgive me oh Great Moony"

"What'll it take for him be forgiven" James teased pulling Lily into his lap, earning a squeak from the girl who still was pulling grass from her dark red hair.

"I think a proper kiss would do" Remus grinned "Though keep it PG we might ruin people"

"Later it won't be" Sirius grinned as he pressed his lips against Remus' before pushing the boy down underneath him "Later it'll be rated triple X"

"Promise"

"Swear it sexy"

"Ok…cut it out or get a room" James gagged "I can't do that much guys…introduce me gently to it"

"We've dated for what…four months now"

"Try five" Remus pushed Sirius off as he was now distracted and chuckled. "Almost six"

"Hell, longest relationship ever. No wonder I'm getting bored" Sirius winked as Remus rolled on top of him and the two began to wrestle.

"Calm down boys" James laughed "Come on kids settle down"

"Let them wrestle" Lily nuzzled James' neck "you see the smiles on their faces"

"I do" James chuckled looking down at her. "Where the hell is Peter?"

"No idea" Sirius chuckled as he pinned Remus underneath him. "Have we planned what to do with the map yet" Remus asked.

"We have" Remus bucked up underneath Sirius earning a groan "Were gonna give it to Flich"

"Oh that's a good id-wait WHAT?" Sirius starred at James "He's kidding right Prongs, I thought that was meant for us to pass down to our kids ya know"

"Hell no" James grinned, "Were gonna have them snatch it from him" Lily cleared her throat "It's my property that Filch is going to TAKE Lily, my children need to have the guts to earn it"

"SO were going to allow them to steal from him"

"Not steal" James chuckled "Take back what's his"

"What if it's a girl" Sirius chuckled, it was no secret Sirius had always wanted a baby girl. He'd said so all the years of his life, 'if I have a kid I want a girl' it always puzzled everyone.

"You'll have the girl, then they can get married and WE can finally be brothers" the two boys grinned.

"Glad you're the one having this baby Sirius" Remus chuckled looking up at him.

"Well…even gay guys can have kids right?"

"Yea if we sleep with a woman"

"That's not hard for me" He grinned "YEOW" Sirius fell off holding his family jewels "REMUS"

"S-Sirius" Remus went wide eyed; the wolf had acted all on his own "I'm sorry"

"What the hell mate?" Sirius cried tears in the corner of his eyes.

"It was the wolf" he whispered James and Lily joining the crowd around Sirius "he's jealous…" he looked away.

"I mean I knew he was gonna be jealous but damn…can he not take a joke" Sirius whined.

"Apparently not" James chuckled "Stand up brush it off"

"How about I hit you in the balls" Sirius growled. "Then I'll tell you to stand up"

"Oh come on we play Quidditch for Heaven's sake! You can't tell me you can't take a hit to the balls after all of that"

"I don't think you understand how hard Remus can hit" Sirius sat up still rubbing his abused body parts. "Note to self do not make the wolf in Remus angry…he will destroy all your baby making material THAT I will never use because of him" he glared at Remus.

Remus laughed "Oh come on if I said it was ok, it'd be different"

"SO it's not ok with you" he eyed Remus "I can never again share the sexiness with anyone else" he grinned.

"Never ever"

"Thank God" Lily laughed. "No father will ever have to worry again with Sirius Black caged up"

"Amen to that" James laughed, soon the whole group chimed in the laughing.


	46. For The Next Generation

**Since we all know at some point the Marauders lost the map...I figured this would sort of be how the situation went. Because I highly doubt they'd lose it any other way XD. By the way...only one chapter left of Desire! Then on to part two!**

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><p>"Come on Peter" Sirius hissed "We all have to get caught and we all have to be in on this"<p>

"We can still get detention's you know!"

"On the night before the end of term feast?"

"It's happened before" Remus chuckled "Third year."

"Ahhh…Flitwick's classroom STILL smells like lavender, I don't know why we got in trouble for that really…he didn't mind it." Sirius grinned at the memory, remembering the charms room full of purple bubbles and for the rest of his school year the room had a faint smell of lavender, it had always been a relaxing room since then.

"I think it was demanded by house elves, they had to clean it up." James chuckled "You know how they can be."

"I do," Sirius sighed. "Lived with one most of my life, they can only take pranks so long."

"And just think even after that they had four more years with us," Remus chuckled.

"We've been pretty tame this year," Peter sighed looking behind the edge of the wall. "SO…how exactly are we going to do this."

"Just hand it to him," James grinned.

"It's jinxed isn't it Prongs," Remus sighed.

"Now what would give you that idea Moony!" James grumbled rolling his eyes, there was no way he'd put any jinx's on the map. It was too precious an instrument of mischief making to be treated as a pranking tool. Though with the idea now in his head it was a tempting idea.

"Sure you wanna do this," Sirius asked from behind James.

"Yes, why?"

"Filch in ten."

"Ahhh," James looked down at the map, one of the possessions all four boys held very dearly. "Are we ready," he asked looking at the three boys.

"No" Sirius held the open map close to his chest. The map had required some dark magic to work certain parts, and that had been all Sirius department, and it was like giving up a child. Though all the marauders played their parts in making the map, they all had created a baby and they were about to sign the papers to give it away for adoption.

"Come on Padfoot, it's a skill of a marauder…if our kids are gonna have it" James gave Sirius a pathetic look, it wasn't a simple or easy task just to hand over one of their most beautiful creations but it needed to be done, for the sake of their children. For them to be able to say 'we did it' just like they had done three years ago when the map was finally finished.

"I know" Sirius whimpered looking down at the map. "Can we say goodbye?"

James rolled his eyes and sighed "Haven't you already?"

"No" he looked at Remus "its like telling Remus goodbye!"

"Glad I'm as important as a piece of parchment we could honestly make again…even better the next time" Remus grumbled, Sirius gasped and held the map close to him.

"HOW" the group shushed him "dare you insult her like that!" he whispered the rest.

"Her" Peter looked at Sirius "When the bloody hell did we decide it was a girl?"

"Here and now, and she'd never sleep with you Peter."

"He tried that once" James chuckled "It fell off his bed" the group chuckled for a few moments before Filch came into view. "Tell it goodbye boys; we'll see it in a couple years with our children."

"Goodbye my pet" Sirius nuzzled the paper "I shall remember all the wonderful things we have done together" Sirius gave a sort of sad smile as he slid his wand out of his pocket.

"Enjoy Filch, insult him well" Remus chuckled patting the map pulling out his wand.

"See ya on the flip side" James pulled out his own wand.

"Err...bye?" Peter pulled out his wand.

"Mischief Managed" the four boys whispered their wands touching as they sparked together and the four of them watched for the final time the map start to close itself the writing fading into the paper. The four watched with wonder as they had done three years ago when they first closed it. It was like closing the casket on a beloved friend, preparing them to be lowered into the ground.

A cold silence fell over the four boys, the feeling that fell over them was an unpleasant one, it was an unspoken feeling of this would be the last time the four of them would be together with the map. As they walked forward pretending to be doing something, each step felt like a tick of time. There was no backing out now. They had said their peace and they were lowering the coffin in the ground.

Sirius had the now folded map clenched in his hand, Remus' in the other. He was known to get very attached to things. Though to Sirius this was giving away part of his soul, it was his possession to guard over the summer and holidays.

James had the cloak that was his possession that was for the marauders. And Remus, he had a notebook. It was where all of their pranks and plans were, those they had done, hadn't done and would have done resided. And now just like the cloak they were tucked safely away in James' and Remus' trunks. Though he understood exactly why they were doing this it didn't make it much easier.

"Why are you out of bed" Filch growled, Mrs. Norris right at his heels.

"We came to give you something" James nudged Sirius as the boy reluctantly held out the folded piece of parchment. "As a parting gift"

Filch eyed it then his eyes went wide and he backed away. "Another one of your tricking parchments! I am tired of them"

"Well" Sirius grinned "If you don't want it" it was almost like a cue, though really the boy had been more than happy the man had not wanted it. He felt it snatched out of his hands.

"Your year might be over, but if you don't get back in your beds I will hang you up by your ankles" he growled "NOW GET!" he shouted the four boys turned heel and headed off.

"My baby" Sirius whined as he leaned against Remus "MY BABY!" He cried.

"Sirius…when we get out of school we can make another."

"REALLY?"

"No Padfoot, come on, it's for the good of our children!" James scolded him.

"And what happens if someone else gets it?"

"…didn't think of that."

"JAMES!"

"No one will figure it out" James chuckled "It's not that simple"

"How are our kids gonna know?"

"We'll tell them" Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius' shoulders and pulled the boy closer "Calm down, it'll be back in your hands before you know it"

"Eleven years Remus" Sirius sighed "I have to wait eleven years!"

"We'll make one of all of London in the meantime" Remus laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"No you are" Remus grinned, as Sirius gave him a smack over the head and stormed off.

"I HATE MY NAME!"


	47. Where it Started

**Chapter 47 - Where It All Started**

**Thank you guys SOOO much for reading my first fanfic! Those of you who have been with me from the start you all mean so much to me each read and review! IT means SOOO much to me! Thank you so much! I know this was a very long fanfic. And it will be longer as after you finish this I'll have already posted the first chapter to my second story that follows this story line…so you can just head over there once your done and jump into the rest again THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! It's been a joy to write this for you.**

**First with graduation, JK herself said there was around a thousand students in school at a time, and I did math (which I hate) making there 145 or so students in each year at least. Then dividing that among the four houses means that there are thirty six students in each house for each year. But it was just a rough rounded guess…so yea…that's how I worked the graduation.**

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><p>The stadium was in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, with around a hundred and fifty seats in front of it, graduation day had snuck up on half of the school without them knowing it while the other half was anxiously waiting in the wings.<p>

The Quidditch locker rooms were turned into dressing rooms for all of the seventh year students, all of them shuffling around the rooms trying to get ready for their big day. One of the last days of their lives they all would share in common. The one final event before they no longer were students of Hogwarts but young men and women of the magical world.

"Moony how does this tie look" Sirius struggled with his tie, hands shaking too bad for him to even tie it right.

"You're helpless" Remus laughed as he undid the terrible knot the boy had attempted to tie and redid it. "Calm down they just say your name you get a slip of paper and that's it" Remus kissed his lips as he finished, "You'll be fine"

"And if I trip"

"Everyone in the school will remember when Sirius Black is put on the spot that he falls flat on his face" James chuckled from behind Lily as she was straightening his tie.

"Thank you so much Prongs" Sirius growled.

"You'll do fine honey now buck up" Remus chuckled. "Peter…what the hell are you doing"

Peter was mid bite into a donut "Err…eating…calming my nerves"

"Your as bad as he is" Remus sighed "Your gonna get that ALL over your clothes, come on. We are the marauders do we all honestly crumble at the thought of graduation" he asked arms crossed across his chest.

"Apparently they do" Lily chuckled patted Remus' back "Turn around let me see you"

"I'm fine Lily" Remus smiled but turned none the less "See"

"Good, I didn't want to straighten up another boy" she smiled "And thankfully you got Sirius all handsome looking"

"Not that its hard to do" Sirius grinned as he ran a comb through his hair for the hundredth time "How's that Remy"

"Fine…as it was ten minutes ago" Remus sighed, he heard the music sound and at that he motioned the marauders forward "Come on lets go" Lily followed at James' side.

The rows filled up, first by house Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and lastly Slytherin. Then once seated by house they sat in alphabetical order. Sirius was way ahead of the lot, second in line, Lily was twenty down the line, then Remus was five after her, and five down was Peter and James was right after.

After a speech from the headmaster the names were called, they would be called by the heads of their houses so McGonagall stood up a wide proud smile on her face. Sirius watched the first student walk up the podium; he had dated her once in second year. He smiled as he watched her stumble; at least he wouldn't be the first. But the second she received her piece of parchment his palms sweated. He knew somewhere his father was in the wings of the Quidditch pitch as well as the Potter's his heart raced.

"Sirius Black" McGonagall called, you could hear the pride in her voice as the eldest Black son stood up, he looked behind him looking through the stands as the people around him clapped, and he spotted his brother in the wings clapping. And then he looked back and looked over the marauders his eyes finally landing on Remus and his grin widened as he walked forward.

'This is for our future' he thought each step moving him forward 'this is the first steps of our life together and I won't let anything happen' he stepped up the stairs 'this is for you Remus, for all those years pushing me, telling me I could do so much more' He smiled at McGonagall 'this is for you, you'll never know how much you have been there for me' he grinned as she handed him his letter. He could see tears in her eyes.

"I'm so proud of you" she whispered "You've been such a joy to have. I'll miss you Sirius" she wrapped him in a hug. And Sirius for the first time in his life was terrified to let go of her, this was it. This was the end. The second he let go he was no longer a student, he was an adult. He would no longer have the safety of Hogwarts on his side. He would be out in the world and whatever he did he was more than responsible for.

He felt her pull away, the woman who for so long had been practically his mother before Mrs. Potter. Who had scolded him, praised him and most of all showed him it was ok to be different. "Thank you Professor" he whispered to her pulling away, he could see the look in her eyes. "Thank you for everything" he smiled and without hesitation placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. It felt right and acceptable, he heard students gasp but he grinned. She swatted him away but smiled none the less, she wouldn't have wanted anything less.

He shook hands with Dumbledore, and headed off of the stage grinning like he had received an Order of Merlin.

Next up would be Remus, time flashed by for him as he watched Sirius walk up there, in his mind with each step Sirius had taken he had watched him transform from the boy he used to be to the man he was now. He couldn't keep his eyes off of him as he stood up there, shaking from nerves. Remus recalled that Sirius had also trembled when he had walked up to be sorted. It only seemed fitting, and soon it would be his turn. And he just like Sirius would shake as he walked up.

"Remus Lupin" McGonagall called, and just like that the nerves leaped to action, as he started to tremble. As he walked up he had to pass Sirius, who reached out and squeezed his hand as he walked past, it only caused the nerves to jitter anymore, though he looked at his boyfriend and smiled, all he needed was Sirius in his life for everything to be ok.

He kept walking before he looked around at everyone he could name so many students so many faces. He felt so small right now as he walked forward, so different. Which he was but with all eyes on you, it just made it worse. He wondered if there had ever been a werewolf to walk the stage he was about to walk on? Defiantly none as blessed as he was, with two parents who cared for him he could see them in the stands out of the corner of his eye clapping for him. He looked to his left and could see the marauders sitting there, there defiantly was no werewolf as blessed as he was, with his friends and lover, and they made him feel like the most important person in the world, especially Sirius. He smiled as he took his parchment from McGonagall wrapping him in a hug.

"Good Luck" She whispered to him "With everything" she winked. He smiled a large smile knowing exactly what she was talking about. He felt butterflies form in his stomach as he walked towards the man who made his whole life possible. "Professor" Remus started.

"Dumbledore now Remus, your no longer a student of mine" Dumbledore smiled eyes twinkling.

"Right" he smiled "I just…wanted to thank you" he looked up at the man "for everything"

"No need to thank me" he smiled "I was giving you the same opportunity that everyone else got. Despite all they come from" he patted Remus on the back. "No matter what happens, everyone deserves a chance" Remus nodded as the man let go of his shoulder and off of the stage he went trembling from head to toe. Not out of nerves now, well maybe it was? He wasn't sure what caused it, maybe it was the fact that now he would have to do everything himself. How would he and Sirius survive? Could he even go live with him? Now the worries for the future began.

Time ticked by and Lily had received her parchment and Peter had as well. Though it had taken him two tripping sessions to actually get on the stage then another stumble as he walked back to his seat. And then James was called.

The head boy was the definition of calm as he walked up; speaking to both McGonagall and Dumbledore then turned and gave the crowd a huge grin. That wouldn't be the last time he'd be up on stage soon he would be up there again giving a closing speech with Lily. And after that the graduation ceremony would be closed. Parents and siblings would come down to greet one another then after a while the parents would leave, and the End of Term feast would begin the everyone would board the train to leave Hogwarts for most it would only be for the summer but for the graduating class of 1978, it would be the last time most of them would be on the train.

"Where are we going exactly, the feast starts in like twenty minutes" James asked as he walked behind Remus and Sirius.

"We told you we needed to show you just exactly how this" Remus motioned between Sirius and himself. "Started"

"DO I honestly need to know" James chuckled "And why couldn't Lily or Peter come"

"Because really, we only wanted to show you" Sirius chuckled.

"That's not nice to Pete" James sighed.

"Eh, he'd get sucked into it, despite the temptation of food"

"Sucked into what" James raised an eyebrow, all the sudden to curious to rush back to the feast.

The door opened the one that neither Remus or Sirius had opened for the past five months and they starred at the silk tarp.

"This was the room I found Remus in that night" Sirius started "The night we did our welcome home prank" he looked back to see James nodding listening "Curled up there in that red silk, I didn't know then that what I was looking at would start this thing inside of me that would give me one of the best things in my life"

"Ahhh don't be sappy" Remus shoved him as he walked over and ripped the cover from the Mirror of Erised. "This is the mirror of Erised, or in other words. It's a mirror that shows your hearts deepest desire" James raised his eyebrows high.

"And…you two saw the other" he asked puzzled.

"No not exactly" Sirius started, the two had long since confessed exactly what the other had seen in the mirror that life changing night. "We saw one another together" he smiled. "As lovers"

"Like…sex or"

"Sirius had a very erotic first glimpse"

"Ahhh" James chuckled. "So…" he walked in front of the mirror and his mouth fell open "Ohhh, I see how it works now. Can you see it?"

"That's the trick" Sirius laughed. "No one can see it but you, because well…anyone else who stands there will see what their heart's desire is"

"Ohhh, have you tried it since…well the mark" James asked looking at Sirius and Remus as the two shook their heads. "You should, see if it's changed"

"I hope not" Sirius chuckled but stood in front of the mirror but frowned as all he saw was himself. "Well…Moony we might have a problem"

"…Padfoot you're not funny" Remus grumbled pushing the boy aside before he starred at Sirius "What did you see"

"I saw only me"

"Same here"

Remus grinned a wide grin confusing both James and Sirius "What" James asked.

"That means we have our heart's desire" he chuckled. "We both must be the happiest men in the world" he laughed.

"Is that so" Sirius grinned "I can deal with that. What did you see James"

"Me and Lily surrounded by kids"

"Sounds about right" Sirius laughed pulling James to his side throwing his arms around Remus' and James' shoulders leaded the two boys away. Remus flicked his wand as the tarp slid over the mirror. "We just wanted to show you Mate" Sirius dropped his arms as he locked the door behind him. "Was all"

"Well…its something to tell the kids when you have them" James chuckled "me and your father, we met because we got lost in Hogwarts and stumbled upon a mirror" he laughed.

"Yep…defiantly a story to tell" Remus smiled and took Sirius' hand. "Let's go. I'm starving" and with that the three turned their backs on the door, the three of them grinning to ear to ear. Knowing that despite the second they left Hogwarts they would be thrown into the real world nothing could happen to tear them apart and they would forever be as happy as they were right now.

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><p><strong>There is a second part written, the story is called With Love Comes War. Come join us over there :D<strong>


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